By this time in our lives, we have all been through a lot of challenges and triumphs. We’ve experienced despair, disappointment, and grief in addition to many moments of joy. 

People say ‘things that don’t kill you make you stronger.’ 

Yet, hearing that and feeling like we have to be strong implies that we have to live up to someone else’s expectation. That then becomes our burden and we carry it around with us forever. 

“I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am”

~ Thomas Cooley

It’s time to give ourselves permission to shed those external expectations that do not serve a true purpose in our lives. All those burdens and expectations we carry around only hold us back, and weigh us down. They may even start to feel comfortable and safe. 

As we go through life, we take on others’ expectations. For example, we often play roles at work representing who we think we should be. In our personal lives, it may be smaller things that diminish our confidence or belief in our value. 

We’ve become so accustomed to them we don’t even realize we’re receiving those messages. Just think of all of the messages women our age receive focused on our external appearance - how to look younger, stay thin, and have flawless hair and makeup. We likely even have built-up feelings of shame/guilt due to not feeling like we can live up to these ideals we've taken on over time. Even worse, some of us still carry the burden of having suffered abuse and trauma. 

We don these beliefs like we’re dressing for a northern winter day outdoors when we don’t know the weather forecast - adding layer upon layer of gear until we can barely move. The problem is, when we never fully take the layers off, they weigh us down until we no longer remember what it feels like to be free from it all. 

Having a goal, making a resolution, setting an intention are all worthy endeavors. Yet, what is going to really make a difference and help us make changes in our lives is cultivating a reset mindset. 

Instead of adding one more layer to our already layered up stuff we’re carrying around, we have to shed some layers to get closer to discovering what is underneath it all.  We need to rid ourselves of all the layers that have either served their purpose, are no longer adding value, or we never wanted in the first place. 

We’ve learned many things from our life experiences. It’s time to begin to shed those layers of burdens, expectations, undesired roles, and past microtraumas. 

The place to start is for each of us to spend time with ourselves in stillness, whether in nature, walking, yoga, or meditation to let our inner awareness reveal the things that are no longer serving us. 

As we begin to shed those things that no longer serve us or have purpose, it helps to reveal the core of what is inside - and our truth. We need to tell that truth and live it, even when others may not always like it. 

It’s our life, no one else’s, and letting those layers of ‘stuff’ go leaves space for the things that do serve us. This process is an evolution. We need to find time to periodically ask ourselves who we are becoming and how that changes what is important to us. 

That is what it means to cultivate a reset mindset. As we learn and experience life we are constantly shedding the layers of things that no longer serve us to make space for the new things that do. We are not required to keep stuff that no longer - or maybe never did - suit us. We also don’t have to put that layer on in the first place if it doesn’t add value. Each of us gets to decide and write our personal story. And, in doing so we will soften our mind, have greater clarity, and calmness as we evolve closer to our truer and more authentic selves. The result is a life full of wholeheartedness. 

Over the next few months, our email newsletter will focus on teaching the tips, tools, and techniques for living with a reset mindset. If you haven’t signed up for our email newsletter, you can do so here. 

Rumble On!

Rebecca and Karyn