Last week a Walgreens employee nicely and appropriately asked me (Rebecca) if I qualified for the senior discount. Caught off guard, I responded, “How old do I have to be to quality?” She said, “55!” I wasn’t sure if I should be thrilled I didn’t qualify or disappointed I missed out on 20 percent off my purchase. 

Karyn and I often talk about the lack of a category for midlife between young adults and seniors. Although AARP membership is open to adults 50 years or older and, as we’re starting to learn, store discounts begin at 55 years old, we’re not senior citizens (often defined as over the age of 62).

With improved knowledge on prevention and new scientific discoveries around longevity, we would also argue that those standards should even be older. Why does it matter? Businesses and organizations aren’t effectively talking with us in advertising, marketing campaigns, and customer service initiatives in a way that matches how we feel. This can take a toll on how we think about ourselves as we age.

Although I am working on it, these confrontations can do a number on my mindset, which is usually pro-aging! That day, I walked out of Walgreens thinking that my wrinkles, hair, and lack of make-up must be screaming that I am old. Why else would she ask me about the discount? 

Luckily with the work we’re doing at Rumblings, I recognized my spiraling mindset and redirected my thoughts to how great I felt before I walked through the Walgreens door, having just finished a weight workout and a kale salad lunch. I quickly refocused my internal conversation to reflect that this woman was only trying to save me money rather than comment on my age or appearance. 

How do you reset your mindset when you feel too old, invisible, or undervalued? 

Try these five resets to swap positive thoughts for negative ones. 

Recognize your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

Honor how you’re feeling. Sit with it. Be present. Is your internal chatter leading you down a positive path? Are these thoughts and feelings giving you energy or sapping essential resources? Is your reaction a pattern? So many of our responses are hardwired we don’t recognize how misaligned they are with our values. Aging is a good thing. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey.

Identify why you’re feeling this way.

Why are these negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions prioritized over positive ones? What can you learn from how you’re feeling to help you react differently? What was your trigger? My trigger at Walgreens was the word “senior” preceding the discount and the images I have about being seen as a senior citizen too soon. Reflect on your responses and write them down. 

Redirect your thoughts.

Think about alternative views you could swap for your current reaction to a comment or situation. How would different responses align better with your values? After I walked out of the Walgreen’s door, I realized I had let one question impact how I was feeling at that moment. My reaction was not aligned with my core beliefs and value of wanting to age well with vibrancy and positivity. I needed to redirect my thoughts to how I wanted to feel. I did that by reflecting on how I felt before walking into the store and how I could get back to those feelings.  

Practice how you will respond differently next time you’re in a similar situation.

Visualize your new reactions. Play them over in your mind. Practice how it could play out differently with a friend. How do these new reactions make you feel? The more you do this, the more likely you will naturally respond differently next time. 

Reignite.

We often talk about reigniting ourselves in midlife because the reality is we want to honor our age, learn from our experiences, and regenerate the spark that may have dimmed as a result of the anti-aging messages we receive daily in society. This takes practice. Stepping into how you want to live is necessary. Don’t hold yourself back based on society’s expectations. Just do it. Reset and reignite today! 

Next time I walk into Walgreen’s on senior discount day, I’ll be ready to embrace my age and ask for the discount because no matter how it is communicated, I am thankful, grateful, and saving money!

This process isn’t easy, but going through it is necessary to reset our mindset to feel great and live well as we age. Showing up as our authentic, vibrant, and true selves can also begin to shift the norms of how society views midlife women. 

Let’s RUMBLE, embrace our age, live well, and flourish together!  

Learn more about resetting your mindset through gratitude, fun, intention, and joy here.