Brave Anyway: Lessons in Living Boldly, Not Perfectly

Lately, a few people have told me (Karyn) they think I’m brave. It’s a lovely thing to hear, but it always surprises me because I don’t feel particularly brave. I’ve simply learned how to keep going, to do the thing in front of me, even when I wasn’t sure I could.

When I was young, I fought for small things that mattered — like being the first girl allowed to work as a carry-out at my local grocery store after being told, again and again, “We only hire boys.” I kept showing up until the manager finally said yes. After that, they hired both boys and girls.

That’s the thing about bravery. It rarely feels like a grand act. It’s often a quiet persistence that builds over time.

I was the only girl in my Taekwondo class in high school. I got my black belt at 17. I’ve traveled solo, taken risks in my career, moved across the country more times than I can count, and raised a family mostly on my own. None of it felt heroic. It was just me doing what needed to be done — one decision, one step, one unknown at a time.

But maybe one of the bravest things I’ve done wasn’t an adventure or a big career leap.

It was choosing to walk away from what no longer fit, even when the next step was unclear. There’s a different kind of courage in choosing yourself when it means stepping into uncertainty.

Sometimes the bravest thing we can do is let go of the version of life that once felt certain — and trust ourselves enough to rewrite our own story when the one we’re living no longer fits.

Lately, I’ve started to see how unusual that kind of independence can seem, especially for women who were taught to wait for permission, approval, or a partner before making bold moves.

So let’s talk about bravery — not as a personality trait, but as a practice.

Bravery is saying yes to yourself when it would be easier to stay comfortable. It’s being willing to look a little foolish, to try something new, to walk into a room alone. It’s deciding that your life — your joy, your growth, your sense of purpose — is worth investing in.

And here’s the truth: you don’t have to start big. You just have to start.

Fail and Learn Like No One’s Noticing

Here’s something else I’ve realized about bravery — it’s not just about doing hard things. It’s about letting go of the need to perform or be perfect while you do them.

So much of what keeps women from taking risks isn’t lack of courage — it’s the pressure to get it right, to make it look effortless, to meet some invisible standard that was never ours to begin with.

Maybe I was lucky. I don’t think anyone — not my parents, not my teachers, not anyone — was paying close enough attention to notice if I failed. And maybe that was a gift. Because when no one’s watching, you stop performing and start experimenting.

So maybe that’s the real secret: fail and learn like no one’s noticing.

Because most of the time, no one is. And even if they are, they’re probably too busy worrying about their own stuff to care.

The truth is, failure is how we find the edges of what’s possible. It’s not the opposite of bravery — it’s the path to it.

Five Small Ways to Practice Being Brave

1. Start where you are. You don’t need a big plan. Just pick one area of your life where you’ve been holding back — maybe a hobby you’ve always wanted to try, a conversation you’ve avoided, or a trip you’ve dreamed of taking. Begin there.

2. Redefine what fear means. Fear doesn’t always mean stop. Sometimes it means pay attention. Fear can be the sign that you’re growing, stretching into something meaningful.

3. Take one small, visible step. Bravery builds through action. Make the call, send the email, sign up, ask for the raise, show up. You’ll be amazed at how confidence expands when you take even the smallest leap.

4. Don’t wait for the timing to be right. There’s no perfect moment. Life will always be full and complicated. Start anyway. The moment you begin, you create momentum.

5. Remember who you are. You’ve already done hard things. You’ve already survived uncertainty. The courage you need isn’t out there — it’s already in you. Sometimes bravery is simply remembering that truth.

Reclaim Your Brave Self

Midlife is the perfect time to reclaim your brave self. You’ve gathered wisdom, perspective, and a deep sense of what really matters. You know what no longer fits.

Being brave now isn’t about proving something to anyone else. It’s about aligning your choices with your values and your voice. It’s about stepping into the version of your life that feels authentic and alive.

Bravery looks different for everyone. For some, it’s starting over. For others, it’s slowing down. It’s saying yes to the thing that calls you and no to the one that drains you.

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You just have to be willing to begin.
Because every act of courage — no matter how small — brings you closer to the life that’s meant for you.

And that, my friends, is the bravest thing of all.

✨ Closing Reflection: Your Turn

Bravery doesn’t happen in grand gestures — it grows from small, steady acts of self-trust. Here’s your invitation this week:

Reflection Prompt:

• What’s one small brave thing I’ve been avoiding that would bring me closer to who I want to become?
  

• If I stopped performing and started experimenting, what might I try?
  

• How would my life feel if I failed — and realized no one was really watching?

Write what comes up. Don’t edit. Just let it flow.
Remember: courage doesn’t ask you to be fearless — only to show up as you are, again and again.

Are you looking for ways to chart your own courageous path? Look for more resources we have available at Rumblings Media.