Why Midlife Women Struggle to Change Habits and How to Succeed

Many women find themselves grappling with change in midlife. The desire to improve or adapt can feel urgent and overwhelming whether it’s health, fitness, relationships, or career. 

Yet, despite the best intentions, lasting change can feel elusive. Why is it so hard to change behavior, especially in midlife?

Current research and insights from behavioral experts like James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, reveal that the struggle often stems from focusing on the wrong things. We tend to zero in on outcomes (like hitting a target weight or achieving a fitness goal) rather than on the deeper processes and identity shifts that drive sustainable change. The good news? By shifting our mindset, taking small steps, and committing to consistency, we can create meaningful and lasting change—without being ruled by the numbers on a scale.

Why Behavior Change Feels Hard in Midlife

Behavior change is challenging for several reasons, but midlife presents unique hurdles:

1. Deeply Entrenched Habits: By midlife, behavior patterns have often been practiced for decades, making them second nature.

2. Shifting Priorities: With careers, families, and aging parents to care for, many women prioritize others’ needs over their own.

3. Biological Changes: Hormonal shifts, slower metabolism, and changing energy levels can make it harder to see immediate progress, leading to frustration.

4. Emotional Ties to Identity: Many of us unconsciously cling to our existing identity (“I’m just not the kind of person who loves exercise”) without realizing that true change requires evolving who we believe we are.

Changing Your Identity, Not Just Your Actions

One of James Clear’s core ideas is that sustainable behavior change starts with an identity shift. Instead of focusing solely on what you want to achieve, ask yourself, Who do I want to become?

For example:

• Instead of saying, “I want to lose 20 pounds,” say, “I am a person who prioritizes my health.”

• Instead of “I want to exercise every day,” try, “I am a person who moves my body regularly.”

When you start seeing yourself as the person who makes healthy choices, every small action reinforces that identity. It’s not about a single goal; it’s about embodying a new way of being.

The Power of Small Steps

Change doesn’t have to be radical to be meaningful. Research shows that small, consistent steps compound over time to create significant results. Clear refers to this as the "1% rule"—improving by just 1% daily. Small steps are also more manageable and less overwhelming in midlife, where time and energy can feel scarce.

Some small actions to consider:

• Swap out one sugary drink for water each day.

• Commit to 10 minutes of movement instead of an hour-long workout.

• Journal for five minutes each morning to clarify your intentions.

Each step may seem minor by itself, but over time, these small wins build momentum and reinforce your evolving identity.

Consistency Is Key

Consistency beats intensity when it comes to lasting change. In midlife, where life’s demands are unpredictable, aiming for perfection often leads to burnout. Instead, focus on showing up regularly, even if it’s not perfect.

For example:

• If you miss a day of exercise, commit to showing up the next day instead of giving up entirely.

• Celebrate sticking to a routine for a week or a month rather than focusing on your progress toward a long-term goal.

Showing up, even in small ways, reinforces the habit and strengthens your belief in your ability to change.

Focus on the Process, Not Just the Numbers

One of the biggest traps midlife women fall into is focusing too much on external metrics, like the number on a scale or the calories burned. While these numbers can provide some feedback, they’re often demotivating when progress feels slow.

Instead, shift your focus to the process itself:

• Enjoy the Journey: Find activities you genuinely enjoy, whether yoga, dancing, or walking with friends. When you enjoy the process, you’re more likely to stick with it.

• Measure Progress Differently: Instead of obsessing over the scale, track how you feel, your energy levels, or how your clothes fit.

• Celebrate Non-Scale Victories: Did you feel stronger during your workout? Did you manage stress better today? These wins matter.

Remember: Change Is a Process

Behavior change isn’t a one-and-done effort; it’s an ongoing process. Long-term commitment is key to success, as small, consistent actions build over time and create a lasting foundation for change. Approaching this journey with patience allows habits to take root and flourish, reinforcing your growth every step of the way. Midlife is the perfect time to embrace this idea. With decades of experience behind you, you’re well-equipped to adapt and grow—if you approach change with curiosity and patience.

Here are some reminders to keep you grounded:

• Be Kind to Yourself: Change takes time, and setbacks are normal. They’re not failures; they’re part of the process.

• Focus on the Long Game: Think of behavior change as a lifelong commitment to yourself, not a quick fix.

• Surround Yourself with Support: Seek out friends, groups, or coaches who uplift and inspire you.

You’re Stronger Than You Think

Midlife is not a barrier to change; it’s an opportunity. For instance, consider a woman who always identified as “not athletic.” In midlife, she starts walking 10 minutes a day. Over time, those walks become part of her identity as someone who values movement and health. This shift didn’t happen overnight, but she embraced a new version of herself through small, consistent steps. 

By shifting your focus to identity, taking small, consistent steps, and enjoying the process, you can create meaningful, lasting habits that enhance your well-being. 

It’s not about becoming someone else; it’s about becoming the best version of yourself. And that transformation is worth every step of the journey.

Embrace the Power of Movement and Healthy Eating in Midlife

Do you struggle with exercise, physical activity, and healthy eating?

You’re not alone. Society has fed you narratives, and you’ve sometimes unknowingly taken on these stories as if they were your own, shaping your perceptions of movement and food. For midlife women, these narratives can be particularly limiting. It's time to rewrite these stories and embrace the joy and benefits of moving our bodies.

Challenging Old Movement Narratives

The number one reason women our age say they don’t like exercise is that they don’t want to sweat. But sweat is a sign of effort, strength, and vitality. You should embrace it, especially as you age. Being strong and fit is an identity worth portraying, and fit people show up sweaty and in their workout clothes!

Think back to a time before Title IX and what society told us about women exercising and being ‘healthy’ - which was all about being attractive and appealing:

- They’d build bulky muscles.

- It was terrible for their constitution.

- Women shouldn't exercise during pregnancy.

- Women are the ‘weaker sex.’

- Sweating is unattractive

- Women should eat like a bird

Even some recent media narratives about female athletes continue to perpetuate these outdated stories about women and fitness, and thankfully, that outdated and biased mentality is starting to change. For years, women were told not to lift weights and to focus exclusively on looking cute in leotards while doing cardio. Pioneers like Jack LaLanne emphasized muscle fitness for women. Still, many early fitness programs  - while terrific at getting women moving - focused solely on cardio and light exercises rather than strength training.

Challenging Old Food Narratives

At the same time, women often encounter outdated or restrictive narratives about healthy eating that can hinder their progress toward achieving their goals. Some of these narratives include:

• "Carbs are bad": The misconception that all carbohydrates are unhealthy can lead women to avoid nutrient-rich foods like whole grains, fruits, and vegetables.

• "Fat makes you fat": This outdated belief discourages the consumption of healthy fats, such as those found in avocados, nuts, and olive oil, which are essential for overall health.

• "Eat less to lose weight": The idea that drastically reducing calorie intake is the key to weight loss can lead to malnutrition and a slowed metabolism, ultimately making weight management more difficult.

• "Healthy eating is expensive": The perception that nutritious foods are always costly can prevent women from making healthier choices, even though many affordable options are available.

• "It's too late to change": The belief that changing what you eat in midlife won't significantly impact health can discourage women from adopting healthier eating habits.

• "Healthy eating is about deprivation": Associating healthy eating with restrictive diets can make it seem unappealing and unsustainable, leading to cycles of dieting and bingeing.

• "You need to detox": The idea that the body needs special detox diets or cleanses to be healthy can lead to extreme and unnecessary dietary practices.

Challenging these narratives with evidence-based information and promoting a balanced, enjoyable approach to healthy eating can help you make positive changes without feeling restricted or discouraged.

Redefining Your Narratives

Instead of dreading exercise and feeling overwhelmed about establishing a high-quality, nutrient-rich eating pattern to supply the fuel your body needs to move more, reset your mindset to prioritize the joy of movement. 

Your body has been through a lot and has taken you far. Movement is not something to dread; it’s something to embrace with excitement and anticipation! It’s powerful—being strong boosts confidence at any age. In middle age, it helps us become visible and vibrant. Healthful eating does not have to be overwhelming if you focus on the basics and block out the noise that villainizes certain foods or food groups.

You can age with strength instead of frailty, health instead of disease, and independence instead of dependence. You can do everything you envision with just a little effort. 

Remember, you are in training to live a strong and healthy life full of vitality, using your body to help you create a life where you flourish.

Healthy Eating & Moving are Best Friends

Alongside movement, healthy eating plays a crucial role in our well-being. Many women underestimate the amount of calories they consume and overestimate the amount of exercise they do. 

Moving your body more and building healthful eating patterns are essential for maintaining or losing weight while supporting your energy level and fitness as you age. Together, these two habits form a synergistic foundation that promotes vitality and longevity during this pivotal stage of life.  This knowledge empowers you to take control of your health and well-being.

Consider these questions:

• Are you eating enough food to sustain more physical activity and exercise? If you’re tired and lack energy to fuel your workouts, you might not be eating enough. 

• Are you consuming enough protein?

• Is your plate balanced?

• How is your food mindset? 

• Are you incorporating the 'Macros of Movement' throughout the week? Find a balanced mix of physical activity, stability/functional training, strength training, and cardio (moderate and vigorous). Avoid limiting your routine to just cardio or daily walks. Instead, add strength training and functional exercises to your regimen.

• Is your current movement pattern an intense cardio session 3-4 days a week for 30-45 minutes, followed by passive activities like working in front of a screen or reading? 

Making minor adjustments to your routine, like increasing physical activity and ensuring sufficient protein intake, can prevent gradual weight gain and help you stay physically strong and fit as you age and into your later years.

Practical Steps to Get Started

• Find Joy in Movement: Choose activities that you enjoy. Whether dancing, hiking, swimming, or yoga, find what makes you happy and keep moving.

• Strength Training: Incorporate strength training into your routine. It boosts metabolism, strengthens bones, and enhances muscle mass. It's particularly beneficial for midlife women as it can help counteract the natural loss of muscle mass that occurs with age, improving overall strength and mobility.

• Intentional Eating: Pay attention to what you eat. Opt for nutrient-dense foods that nourish your body and support your fitness goals. This balanced approach to eating will provide you with the necessary nutrients and support your fitness journey, reassuring you that you're on the right path.

• Stay Consistent: Move a regular part of your life. Consistency is critical to reaping the benefits of a healthy lifestyle.

• Build a Support System: Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who encourage your fitness journey.

Rewriting your relationship with exercise and healthy eating is essential for thriving in midlife. Embrace the power of movement and the benefits of a balanced eating pattern. You have the strength to age with vitality, confidence, and independence. Celebrate your body and the incredible things it can do. Normalize being strong at any size, and don’t shy away from sweating—even if it means showing up to appointments or lunch meetups in exercise gear. 

Rumblings Media has tools and resources to help guide you wherever you are on your health and wellness journey so you can thrive! 

Don’t know where to begin or wonder where you need to focus on adjusting your patterns? Join us in an upcoming online or in-person class to jump-start your plan!

We’re here to help—and to remind you that it is never too late to begin or review where you’re at. 

Start today, step into the identity of a strong, fit, and balanced-eating midlife woman, and flourish!

Embracing Change: Empowering Midlife Women for Health and Vitality

We often hear from women that they feel too old to change their lives. For example, they wonder, "Am I too old for exercise to make a difference?” 

The answer is always a great, big, resounding “NO.” It’s never too late to make a difference in exercise and any other facet of life. Many women have successfully reinvented themselves after 50 and reignited change in many aspects of their lives.

Substantial evidence from intervention studies and observational research has demonstrated various positive health effects of making changes after 50, primarily related to physical activity in older populations. 

Here are ideas for areas where small changes can make a significant impact.

Make Social Connections:

Human connection is a fundamental pillar of well-being. Research consistently shows that solid emotional bonds contribute significantly to our overall health. Loneliness and isolation are not just feelings; they have tangible effects on our physical health, including increased risks of heart disease, stroke, and dementia. 

Building and nurturing meaningful relationships with friends, family, and community members is essential. Embrace opportunities for social engagement through group activities, faith communities, or neighborhood programs. These connections bring tremendous benefits for improving the quality of life. 

Create a New Vision:

Finding a purpose gives meaning to your life and fuels your motivation. 

Studies have shown that individuals with a clear sense of purpose tend to have lower mortality rates. 

Whether volunteering, pursuing a hobby, or helping others in need, identifying activities that align with your values and positively impact your well-being can significantly enhance your well-being. 

It is not uncommon too struggle and not know where to start finding your purpose. Walking through the steps to create a new vision for your life can help you reignite your purpose. Check out the resources we’ve developed to help you reinvigorate your life and change for good. 

Build Muscle:

Aging often brings a decline in muscle mass and strength, but it's not an inevitable consequence. Regular strength-training exercises can help mitigate muscle loss, improve balance, and reduce the risk of falls and injuries. 

Aim for at least two weekly sessions, focusing on exercises targeting major muscle groups. Remember to allow adequate rest between sessions to support muscle recovery. Check out this blog post to help understand how building muscle is one of the best exercises for defying the effects of aging. 

Protect Your Brain:

Dementia is a prevalent concern among aging adults, but research suggests that lifestyle factors play a significant role in prevention. 

Quitting smoking, exercising regularly, and adopting a heart-healthy diet can all contribute to brain health. Take proactive steps to safeguard your cognitive function and reduce the risk of age-related mental decline. Small lifestyle-related changes can make a big difference in lowering your risk for dementia. The impact is particularly profound during midlife. 

Eat a Balanced Diet (Protein, Plus Nuts!):

The foundation of healthy aging starts with nutrition. It’s time to ditch the fad diets and instead eat a balanced diet that includes a variety of nutrient-rich foods. 

Focus on incorporating lean proteins, whole grains, fruits, vegetables, and healthy fats into your meals. Limit sugar intake, opt for natural sources of sweetness, and avoid sugary beverages. Consider including nuts like walnuts in your diet, which have been linked to improved cardiac function and overall health. Many midlife women struggle to get adequate protein, but we share how small changes can make a significant difference in this blog.  

Support Your Caregiving Friends:

Almost every midlife woman we know is a caregiver. For caregivers, the importance of self-care cannot be overstated. Providing care for a loved one can be physically, emotionally, and financially taxing. 

As a caregiver, you must prioritize your well-being and seek support when needed. 

While new programs that aim to address the needs of caregivers and improve the quality of life for caregivers and their loved ones are becoming available, there are still far too few of them. 

In the meantime, take time for yourself and acknowledge the struggles of caregiving with your friends, family, and acquaintances. You are not alone. 

As a midlife woman, you possess the resilience and wisdom to navigate aging challenges gracefully. By embracing these small yet impactful changes, you can empower yourself to lead a vibrant, fulfilling life well into the future. 

Remember, it's never too late to prioritize your health and well-being—it's a journey worth embarking on, one step at a time.

13 Ways to Transition to Autumn Using a Chinese Medicine Approach

Jalashree working with a guest.

Guest Blog: Written By Jalashree Pradhan, Licensed Acupuncturist and Reiki practitioner.

“There is a necessary wisdom in the give-and-take of nature, its quiet agreements and search for balance. There is an extraordinary generosity”- Suzanne Simard.

As the last warm days of our late summer wind down and the busy Yang energy of summer recedes, the transition to autumn begins. The days are shorter, the sun sets earlier, and the mornings are cool and crisp. Observing nature in transition during the autumn season, we begin to prepare for more dormant days ahead. Leaves turn and begin their journey back to the earth. Fruits fall, seeds dry, and tree sap returns to the roots. The natural world is preparing for the cold, dark, and challenging months ahead. We, too, must make our preparations at this time. We stock up on colorful and still abundant fruits and vegetables, dry, preserve, and store foods, and rediscover our forgotten sweaters and wool socks—the summer Yang energy transitions to the slower, quiet, and introspective Yin energy during this time.

Welcome to autumn.

The philosophy of Chinese medicine teaches us to live in reciprocal harmony with the natural world’s cycles so that we can maximize our health and wellbeing.

The Five Elements:

According to Chinese medicine, the Five Elements, or 5 phases, are a method by which we can explain the manifestations of this world. Wood, Fire, Earth, Metal, and Water help us define our relationship to the physical world, the spiritual world, and bodies.

In Chinese medicine, autumn is represented by the Metal element and is related to the Lungs and Large intestine organ systems. The Metal element governs mind, organization, order, stability, an eye for beauty/refinement, and its ability to come together and let go. It relates to the color white. The body tissue it connects to is the skin and body hair. The sensory organ is the nose. We experience this element through a yearning for spicy, pungent, and somewhat sour foods.

When the Metal element is not balanced, we may experience excessive grief and sadness or have difficulty letting go and need control. When in balance, we experience a natural sense of acceptance of the transition of this world. We can let go with grace and grieve appropriately, recognizing change as a natural transformative process.

The Lungs and Large intestine organ systems include the nose, throat, skin, and digestive systems, designed to protect us from harmful external factors. The Qi that circulates on the surface is called Defensive Qi, “Wei Qi.” This encompasses the Western concept of superficial immunity and protects us from seasonal illnesses like colds, flu, and allergies. The Lungs are most susceptible to wind, cold, and dryness at this time of year. If Wei Qi is strong and in balance, we can generally maintain health and avoid illness. If our Lungs are out of balance due to overwork, lack of sleep, or improper diet, we are more likely to suffer from “lung conditions.”  

Common symptoms associated with Lung and Large intestine system imbalances are allergies, asthma, breathing problems, constipation/diarrhea, cough, excessive grief, indifference, sadness, sinus infections, sinus headaches, shortness of breath, susceptibility for colds/flu, skin issues, pain in shoulders, elbows, and lower limbs.

Autumn is an opportune time to nourish these vulnerable systems and balance your overall energy and immune system.

There are many things you can do to transition between seasons and embrace autumn:

Stay Warm - Weather changes quickly during this dry season, so wear extra layers. Keeping a scarf around the neck and chest offers additional protection and makes a bold fashion statement. According to Chinese medicine, wind penetrates through the back of the neck and brings environmental pathogens that can lead to vulnerability to catching an illness. Cover up and protect your skin.

Practice Slowing Down - Exercise is essential at this time, but as the world around us slows down, we should reflect on the pace and not run from it. Try calmer forms of exercise – yoga, Qi Gong, nature walks, taking in the beauty of color changes of the trees, or watching a sunrise/sunset. Seek inspiration and beauty all around you. Embrace the transition.

Share activities with family and friends like raking leaves, foraging mushrooms, apple picking, and bringing the garden to a temporary lull. Take time to watch the beauty and changes as they happen all around you. These are relaxing, connected forms of mental and emotional exercise as we say goodbye to one season and welcome another.

Protect Your Sleep - Days are shorter, and nights are longer. More hours of the day are Yin (dark, quiet, cool, and inactive). Try following nature’s lead by going to bed a little earlier. Make sure to turn off screens and keep the bedroom cool and dark. Going to bed and waking up at regular hours will help restore and repair your body and mind.

Incorporate The Bounty Of The Harvest - Move away from summer’s cold, raw foods to more warm and heartier foods such as soups, stews, sautés, stir-fry, and roasts. Rich and dense foods such as winter squashes, winter peas, broccoli, beets, carrots, cauliflower, red cabbage, sweet potatoes, yams, and dark leafy greens support and help keep the digestive system strong to keep the lung system protected. Seasonal fruits such as cranberries, figs, pears, apples, persimmons, and chestnuts support the Lung and Large intestine organ systems. The season provides us much to be grateful for and acknowledge.

It’s best to avoid rich and fatty foods in autumn. They are difficult to digest and can produce phlegm that blocks the Lung Qi. Also, in Chinese medicine, excessive intake of fruits, juices, and dairy can produce mucus, causing coughs and phlegm, so best to limit these to protect the lungs.

Say Yes To Sour/Pungent Flavors - Add sour foods into your diet (olives, pickles, sauerkraut, lemons, leeks, tart apples, etc.) to help hold the Qi within us. It is wise to add pungent aromatic seasonings such as garlic, ginger, coriander, chili, mustard seed, cinnamon, sage, thyme, and rosemary. They improve Qi and blood circulation and support fluid balance to release mucus. Do use all these sour and pungent spices in moderation to not deplete the Qi and Yin. To support the Lung and Large intestine membranes and get rid of mucous, add fenugreek, marshmallow root, flaxseeds, and kombu seaweed.

Add White - The color white corresponds to the Metal energy. Incorporating white foods such as onions, garlic, ginger, cauliflower, cabbage, bamboo shoots, radishes, turnips, daikon, horseradish, parsnips, mushrooms, apples, pears, almonds, cashews, egg whites all help support the Large intestine to eliminate properly. Also, add fiber-rich whole grains and legumes such as rice, oats, amaranth, white beans, soybeans, and white lima beans.  Do avoid white refined flours and sugars. Wearing white may also bring a sense of lightness.

Cultivate Simplicity - It is time to bring the energy more inward and shed things and activities to help simplify daily life. Consider how to live simply, consciously. Try the Marie Kondo approach to organizing closets and drawers and get rid of things you no longer need; it may help you feel a sense of lightness. Autumn is an excellent time to let go of emotional baggage as well. Clear old resentments, foster compassion and forgiveness, and shed the baggage of unprocessed emotions—all with loving attention and care.

Pause to Breathe - The Lung is the Yin organ of the Metal element and brings Qi, a breath of life, to mind, body, and spirit. Shallow and rapid breaths can reduce oxygen and increase stress/tension and deplete the immune function. Remember to pause and take a mindful breath in from your nose, and exhale slowly from your mouth throughout your day. This will help calm the mind and nourish the Lung system to stay healthy.

Observe and Reflect - This time of the year provides a perfect time to watch the Yang energy transition to Yin energy. It is time to slow down. As the days grow shorter, we may feel anxious or melancholic, saying goodbye to the warmer weather. As beautiful as the changing season can be, the closing days of the year can remind us of our cycles and mortality and helps us to live in alignment with what is greater than ourselves.

If we can be persuaded to put aside our fears and accept all that is happening around us and become a part of the larger life cycle, grief can be experienced as a cleansing emotion.

It is essential to make time to cry and grieve. The sound of the Metal element is weeping. The process of letting go, releasing old patterns and unresolved grief will allow us to move with courage and integrity to clarity, recovery, and finally, acceptance.

Incorporate Essential Oils - The Lungs are related to the nose and our sense of smell. When the Lung system is balanced, we can smell all five smells. Deeply inhale essential oils like rosemary, niaouli, eucalyptus, fir, or peppermint to open and clear the nasal passages, and cinnamon, clove, and lemon, in addition, can help boost immunity. Essential oils of lavender, orange, neroli, ylang-ylang, chamomile, and blue tansy help calm mild anxiety, worry, and stress.

My favorite essential oil blends that I carry at my clinic are from Snow Lotus: Vir-Away, Sinus Clear, Sweet Dreams, Stress Release, and Worry-Free.

Add Chinese Herbal Remedies - Chinese herbal remedies are a time-tested and effective support for the immune system and treating cold and flu. They can also be used to support recovery from various long-haul symptoms of COVID-19. It is best to consult with your East Asian Medicine practitioner or me for the appropriate formula for you.

These are a few formulas that can be safely added to your daily regimen as prevention and maintain health through the autumn and winter seasons:

• Host Defense Immunity Comprehensive/ Stamets 7: a powerful blend of medicinal mushrooms for supporting general immunity

• Griffo Base Camp: classical Chinese herbal formula with medicinal mushrooms in teas and tinctures support seasonal immunity

• Dao Labs (Mpls) Immunity Support: classical herbal blend can be added to your daily autumn regimen

Balance with Acupressure Points - Acupoints can be massaged rotating clockwise for 30 seconds to balance the immune system and support the digestive function.

• CV 17-Sea of Tranquility is on the center of the chest at the 4th rib space and in front of the thymus gland, opens the chest, relaxes the diaphragm, supports the immune system, and brings a sense of calm and ease to the whole body, mind, and heart.

• LU2-Cloud Gate is on the upper chest, below the front of the shoulder and end of the collar bone. This point will help with cough, asthma, and pain in the shoulders, lift the cloud of sadness and grief, and allow brightness and warmth to enter by supporting the Metal element.

• TB5-Outer Gate is on the backside of the arm, about three fingers above your wrist crease between the two tendons. This point powerfully reduces inflammation and balances the fluids of the whole body. Also, the Outer gate allows for a feeling of warmth and connection from others.

Restore with Preventative Care - It is more important than ever to stay healthy and balanced, as well as protect and strengthen your immune system. It is beneficial to schedule a seasonal tune-up with acupuncture, cupping, and Chinese herbs to address allergies, digestive issues, long haul COVD-19 symptoms, sadness and grieving that need compassionate attention, and so much more. A holistic, individualized plan can be developed to support and meet your unique needs. Schedule your next visit by booking an appointment here. 

You can schedule in-person and telehealth appointments with Jalashree using the link above.

Check out our upcoming facial roller event with Jalashree on November 8, in Minneapolis.