Embracing Joy and Sorrow: A New Year's Resolution to Open Your Heart
As we approach the holidays and the end of the year, many of us reflect on the past and contemplate resolutions for the New Year. It's a time to assess unachieved goals, revise previous aspirations, or set new ones. At this mid-stage of life, the holiday season takes on a unique significance – for some, it's a bustling time filled with family and festivities, while for others, it may become quieter and more introspective.
In my (Karyn) reflections this year, I've been pondering one of my meaningful traditions – choosing a guiding word for the upcoming year. With its mix of excitement and poignant memories, Christmas catalyzes contemplating the ebb and flow of joy and sorrow in our lives.
This year, I am embarking on a new tradition: embracing joy and sorrow and carrying this duality into the New Year with an open heart. My chosen word for the upcoming year is "openhearted," a conscious decision to live a life of joy, zest, and full experiences.
The journey began with a practice inspired by the ancestral altars I encountered during a trip to Vietnam, a tangible reminder of the love, wisdom, and the inevitable grief that comes with loss. Creating an altar for my ancestors becomes a way to honor their legacy and acknowledge the void left by their absence, providing a bridge between past and present. If this interests you, reading more about deepening your connection with your ancestors may be helpful.
In addition to honoring my ancestors and facing the grief of missing them during the holiday season, I’m working to cultivate joy and openness. I've introduced a daily practice I call the "Remembrance of the Beloved." Like a gratitude journal, this practice involves reflecting on cherished memories, people, places, or items that evoke joy. The deliberate use of the term "beloved" adds weight and texture to the things I hold dear, making this practice a powerful exercise in mindfulness. I’ve written down my beloved item or memory and its significance each day in my Rumblings ‘beloved journal.’
Often viewed as a solitary and private experience, grief has the transformative potential to deepen your capacity to hold both sorrow and suffering. Rather than attempting to transcend or escape grief, I advocate for facing it head-on, creating a spaciousness within ourselves to accommodate the weight of sorrow. Our culture's tendency to stifle grief can lead to a narrow aperture for empathy and compassion, preventing us from fully engaging with the suffering in the world.
By befriending grief and acknowledging its continuous presence, you open yourself to healing. Grief is not something to overcome but a companion to walk alongside, shaping an ongoing relationship with your soul and the world around you. This companionship with grief becomes a source of warmth, kindness, care, and compassion, enriching your internal life.
In avoiding or minimizing grief, your heart risks closure, limiting your ability to address both personal and global suffering. Recognizing that you also keep your heart open to joy by welcoming grief is crucial. The vulnerability inherent in facing grief allows you to connect with others more deeply, fostering meaningful relationships and a sense of shared humanity.
As I age, I have realized that strength alone does not sustain me, as it fails to address the emptiness within. In embracing my vulnerabilities, I’ve rediscovered my connection to the common threads of humanity. The actual work is not merely to seek happiness but to fully embrace the richness of being alive.
My 2024 word — openheartedness—will be my guide, and the work is my daily practice of honoring my ancestors and celebrating the beloved treasures that bring me joy.
When you find the spaciousness in your heart to accommodate joy and sorrow, you can create harmony and authenticity this holiday season and carry this openness into the New Year.
Join me in the journey towards a more openhearted and fulfilling life.
I’ll leave you with a few lines from Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher, about the meaning of life that accommodates this duality. ‘As deeply as man sees into life, he also sees into suffering.’ ‘Was that life? Well then! Once more!’
Pick your word(s) for the upcoming year with our guide. By setting words, you become more intentional about how you want to live your life, which helps you be more successful in living well and reaching your goals.