Embrace the Journey: Rediscover Purpose in Midlife

"What are you doing with your life?" It echoes through the corridors of our minds, haunting us like a persistent shadow. We remember asking ourselves this in college, maybe even later in our twenties. But life happened—kids, careers, responsibilities—and that question got buried beneath the hustle and bustle of everyday life.

Fast-forward to today, and here we are, a community of midlife women, each navigating a unique maze of caregiving duties, changing relationships, and evolving roles. The question resurfaces, taunting us with its insistent presence.

"What are you doing with your life?"

Reinvent Midlife

But this time, instead of feeling a surge of possibility, doubt creeps in. Is it too late to chase your dreams? Can you reinvent your life, find new purposes, and acquire new skills?

The answer is a resounding YES!

Yes, even if you're unsure. Yes, even if you don't have all the answers. Yes, even if the path ahead seems daunting. Why? Because you are wiser now than you've ever been. You've weathered storms, faced challenges, and emerged stronger and more resilient on the other side.

Rewrite Your Story

It's still possible to rewrite your story. This is just the beginning of a new chapter filled with endless and untapped possibilities. And the best part? You're not alone on this journey. 

As a community of midlife women, we are here to support and uplift each other.

Let's embrace uncertainty, fear, and the unknown together. Let's forge ahead with courage, curiosity, and a willingness to explore. Ultimately, what matters most is not where we've been but where we're going—and the incredible adventures that await us along the way.

Embrace Change

Midlife is a time of transition. It's a period marked by profound shifts in our lives, both internally and externally. As we navigate the complexities of aging parents, grown children, and changing careers, it's natural to question our place in the world and our purpose in life.

But amid the uncertainty, there lies an opportunity—to reinvent yourself, rediscover your passions, and pursue your dreams with renewed vigor. This is your chance to embrace change, lean into the discomfort, and emerge on the other side stronger, wiser, and more fulfilled than ever before. The potential for growth and fulfillment in this new chapter of life is immense and within your reach. It’s a time to reset your mindset and renew your vision to live vibrantly and purposely. 

Seek Fulfillment

Finding fulfillment in midlife is not about achieving some elusive ideal of success or happiness. It's about embracing the messy, imperfect journey of self-discovery and growth. It's about learning to appreciate the beauty of the present moment, even as you strive for a better tomorrow.

So, lean into the unknown with an open heart and mind. Trust in your ability to navigate life's twists and turns with grace and resilience. And remember that no matter where this journey takes you, you're never alone. 

Together, we can face whatever challenges come our way and emerge more robust and resilient than ever.

Now is the Time

Midlife is not the end of the road – it's a new beginning. It's a chance to reinvent yourself, pursue your passions, and live on your terms. So, embrace this opportunity with courage, curiosity, and a sense of adventure. Write the next chapter of your life with boldness and determination. 

Start creating your vision for this next chapter. Check out the following resources for support:

1. Overcoming Resistance to Achieve Your Vision: A Midlife Women’s Guide

2. Midlife Transitions and Challenges: A Call for a Renewed Vision

3. 90-Day Vision Journal: Create and Live the Life of Your Dreams

4. 52-Week Email Vision Course 

5. Check out our in-person midlife transformation classes.

Remember, the best you is about to bloom and flourish!

Embracing Joy and Sorrow: A New Year's Resolution to Open Your Heart

As we approach the holidays and the end of the year, many of us reflect on the past and contemplate resolutions for the New Year. It's a time to assess unachieved goals, revise previous aspirations, or set new ones. At this mid-stage of life, the holiday season takes on a unique significance – for some, it's a bustling time filled with family and festivities, while for others, it may become quieter and more introspective.

In my (Karyn) reflections this year, I've been pondering one of my meaningful traditions – choosing a guiding word for the upcoming year. With its mix of excitement and poignant memories, Christmas catalyzes contemplating the ebb and flow of joy and sorrow in our lives. 

This year, I am embarking on a new tradition: embracing joy and sorrow and carrying this duality into the New Year with an open heart. My chosen word for the upcoming year is "openhearted," a conscious decision to live a life of joy, zest, and full experiences.

The journey began with a practice inspired by the ancestral altars I encountered during a trip to Vietnam, a tangible reminder of the love, wisdom, and the inevitable grief that comes with loss. Creating an altar for my ancestors becomes a way to honor their legacy and acknowledge the void left by their absence, providing a bridge between past and present. If this interests you, reading more about deepening your connection with your ancestors may be helpful. 

In addition to honoring my ancestors and facing the grief of missing them during the holiday season, I’m working to cultivate joy and openness. I've introduced a daily practice I call the "Remembrance of the Beloved." Like a gratitude journal, this practice involves reflecting on cherished memories, people, places, or items that evoke joy. The deliberate use of the term "beloved" adds weight and texture to the things I hold dear, making this practice a powerful exercise in mindfulness. I’ve written down my beloved item or memory and its significance each day in my Rumblings ‘beloved journal.’ 

Often viewed as a solitary and private experience, grief has the transformative potential to deepen your capacity to hold both sorrow and suffering. Rather than attempting to transcend or escape grief, I advocate for facing it head-on, creating a spaciousness within ourselves to accommodate the weight of sorrow. Our culture's tendency to stifle grief can lead to a narrow aperture for empathy and compassion, preventing us from fully engaging with the suffering in the world.

By befriending grief and acknowledging its continuous presence, you open yourself to healing. Grief is not something to overcome but a companion to walk alongside, shaping an ongoing relationship with your soul and the world around you. This companionship with grief becomes a source of warmth, kindness, care, and compassion, enriching your internal life.

In avoiding or minimizing grief, your heart risks closure, limiting your ability to address both personal and global suffering. Recognizing that you also keep your heart open to joy by welcoming grief is crucial. The vulnerability inherent in facing grief allows you to connect with others more deeply, fostering meaningful relationships and a sense of shared humanity.

As I age, I have realized that strength alone does not sustain me, as it fails to address the emptiness within. In embracing my vulnerabilities, I’ve rediscovered my connection to the common threads of humanity. The actual work is not merely to seek happiness but to fully embrace the richness of being alive.

 My 2024 word — openheartedness—will be my guide, and the work is my daily practice of honoring my ancestors and celebrating the beloved treasures that bring me joy. 

When you find the spaciousness in your heart to accommodate joy and sorrow, you can create harmony and authenticity this holiday season and carry this openness into the New Year. 

Join me in the journey towards a more openhearted and fulfilling life.

I’ll leave you with a few lines from Friedrich Nietzsche, the German philosopher, about the meaning of life that accommodates this duality. ‘As deeply as man sees into life, he also sees into suffering.’ ‘Was that life? Well then! Once more!’

Pick your word(s) for the upcoming year with our guide. By setting words, you become more intentional about how you want to live your life, which helps you be more successful in living well and reaching your goals.

Our Tip to Banish the Midlife Blues

I (Rebecca) am writing this post while sitting in the emergency room at our local hospital. Sometimes it feels like the fog of the COVID pandemic is lifting, and life is slowly getting back to normal. Then there are times, like today, I am reminded that suffering and pandemic challenges continue for many people.  

Karyn and I often speak about the heaviness we sense when we spend too much time watching the news, scrolling through social media, or focusing on the lost moments of the last two years. It can all feel too divisive, overwhelming, and confrontational versus conversational. 

The world has changed in ways that we haven’t experienced before and will likely never return to the same ‘normal’ we lived before March 2020. We’ve changed too. And all of the uncertainty and change has left many of us languishing (living in a state of decreased vitality or blah) or feeling blue. 

Getting out of feeling this way will not happen by flipping a switch or willing ourselves to be joyful, happy, hopeful, and vibrant. There isn’t a perfect timeline for resilience. None of our experiences are the same. Some of us will need to sit with our feelings and emotions and process them longer than others. 

What has helped us feel better when we’re feeling this way—is turning off the news, filtering our social media accounts, assessing who we’re spending time with, and connecting with other midlife women to have honest conversations about what we’re feeling. 

Looking back over the last two years and creating a list of things that have changed our lives for the better has also helped us see the beauty in the season we’ve been through. The process has helped us see we’ve created changes in our lives that we’re proud of and bring us joy and are ones we will continue. It is a list we reflect on when we feel ourselves languishing. 

Here’s part of our list:

We edited our homes to support our health and well-being. Our family added an infra-red sauna in an unused section of our furnace room. Initially, we were worried it would be another household fad; however, we’ve found that the entire family is still reaping the benefits two years later. Karyn outfitted a fantastic outdoor space into an oasis to soak up the sun, relax, and entertain. 

We reconfirmed our need and enjoyment of daily gentle movement outdoors. We looked for quick ways to exercise due to our busy schedules during our intense executive careers. The pandemic helped us slow down, get outdoors on long walks, and appreciate the benefits of nature again. 

We reviewed how we want to live our lives. Yes, we launched Rumblings during the pandemic. It wasn’t easy, but the ‘extra’ time helped us dig deep into our personal ‘why,’ our talents, and who we wanted to serve as we age. We want to help midlife women feel valued, seen, heard, and vibrant. 

We reconnected with friends and family on a deeper level. We had deep, meaningful, and sometimes challenging conversations with those we care about without the chaos of sports schedules, work engagements, and life events. We relaxed. We listened. We grew.

We realized that facing adversity and missing out on meaningful moments such as graduations, weddings, and funerals, made us refocus, reflect, and reframe how we celebrate. We uncovered creativity we hadn’t used in a while and celebrated loved ones in new ways that created new memories. 

We rediscovered our love for growing and nurturing plants! My 16-year-old son recently asked me how many plants I had pre-pandemic (2) and how many I have now (28). I’ve realized that growing (and eating) plants bring me joy. Both Karyn and I also started growing veggies in pots and raised garden beds, a hobby that we put aside while we were both busy working and raising kids. Each year we’ve expanded our harvest! 

We learned. Karyn and I both are learners. We feel inspired, more energetic, and excited when we’re learning, whether through online webinars, events, conversations, or classes (most recently, Pickleball!). Learning doesn’t have to stop at a certain age. As our kids have grown, we have more time to learn new things and experience life in different ways! 

We’ve also learned we want to continue to support this fantastic community through tips, tools, and techniques that can help ourselves and others in midlife. One of these tools is resetting our mindsets to focus on gratitude, as we did with this list. Although some people can reset their mindset and take action to change how they feel quickly, for others, it takes more time. There is no ‘right’ timeline. We are each on our own journey. 

As organizational psychologist and best-selling author Adam Grant, Ph.D., wrote recently— “Strength is not the speed of your recovery. It’s the intensity of your resolve.”

Creating this list and reflecting on the last two years helped us feel grateful, content, and ok. Our inventory is not meant to be a comparison list for your evolution over the previous few years. It is intended to serve as an example to show and remind ourselves we have experienced joy, fulfillment, and positive change in our lives to carry into the future. Making this list, reflecting on it, celebrating change, and being grateful, helped us feel better. It served as a reminder that even when things happening in the world around us seems bleak, it’s possible to experience the full range of human emotion. 

The process has helped me feel better as I process the many medical challenges my family has faced over the last couple of months. 

We encourage you to make your own list, find joy and feel gratitude for the experiences, growth, and changes you have been through.

If you’re looking for more inspiration to reset your mindset in midlife check out earlier blog posts on finding a mindset reset and cultivating a reset mindset. 

Together we RUMBLE!