The Ultimate Revelation of Cultivating a Reset Mindset

Each of us gets to decide and write our personal story. And, in doing so we will soften our mind, have greater clarity, and calmness as we evolve closer to our truer and more authentic selves. The result is a life full of wholeheartedness. 

By this time in our lives, we have all been through a lot of challenges and triumphs. We’ve experienced despair, disappointment, and grief in addition to many moments of joy. 

People say ‘things that don’t kill you make you stronger.’ 

Yet, hearing that and feeling like we have to be strong implies that we have to live up to someone else’s expectation. That then becomes our burden and we carry it around with us forever. 

“I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am”

~ Thomas Cooley

It’s time to give ourselves permission to shed those external expectations that do not serve a true purpose in our lives. All those burdens and expectations we carry around only hold us back, and weigh us down. They may even start to feel comfortable and safe. 

As we go through life, we take on others’ expectations. For example, we often play roles at work representing who we think we should be. In our personal lives, it may be smaller things that diminish our confidence or belief in our value. 

We’ve become so accustomed to them we don’t even realize we’re receiving those messages. Just think of all of the messages women our age receive focused on our external appearance - how to look younger, stay thin, and have flawless hair and makeup. We likely even have built-up feelings of shame/guilt due to not feeling like we can live up to these ideals we've taken on over time. Even worse, some of us still carry the burden of having suffered abuse and trauma. 

We don these beliefs like we’re dressing for a northern winter day outdoors when we don’t know the weather forecast - adding layer upon layer of gear until we can barely move. The problem is, when we never fully take the layers off, they weigh us down until we no longer remember what it feels like to be free from it all. 

Having a goal, making a resolution, setting an intention are all worthy endeavors. Yet, what is going to really make a difference and help us make changes in our lives is cultivating a reset mindset. 

Instead of adding one more layer to our already layered up stuff we’re carrying around, we have to shed some layers to get closer to discovering what is underneath it all.  We need to rid ourselves of all the layers that have either served their purpose, are no longer adding value, or we never wanted in the first place. 

We’ve learned many things from our life experiences. It’s time to begin to shed those layers of burdens, expectations, undesired roles, and past microtraumas. 

The place to start is for each of us to spend time with ourselves in stillness, whether in nature, walking, yoga, or meditation to let our inner awareness reveal the things that are no longer serving us. 

As we begin to shed those things that no longer serve us or have purpose, it helps to reveal the core of what is inside - and our truth. We need to tell that truth and live it, even when others may not always like it. 

It’s our life, no one else’s, and letting those layers of ‘stuff’ go leaves space for the things that do serve us. This process is an evolution. We need to find time to periodically ask ourselves who we are becoming and how that changes what is important to us. 

That is what it means to cultivate a reset mindset. As we learn and experience life we are constantly shedding the layers of things that no longer serve us to make space for the new things that do. We are not required to keep stuff that no longer - or maybe never did - suit us. We also don’t have to put that layer on in the first place if it doesn’t add value. Each of us gets to decide and write our personal story. And, in doing so we will soften our mind, have greater clarity, and calmness as we evolve closer to our truer and more authentic selves. The result is a life full of wholeheartedness. 

Over the next few months, our email newsletter will focus on teaching the tips, tools, and techniques for living with a reset mindset. If you haven’t signed up for our email newsletter, you can do so here. 

Rumble On!

Rebecca and Karyn

Use the One to Three Word Practice As Your Guide to Live Well in the New Year

“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.” — Carl Jung

Since 2011, I have identified three to four words to guide me throughout the year every year. The “my three words” practice was inspired by best-selling author Chris Brogan, President of Chris Brogan Media. These three words are my compass for how I want to live that year. My three words evolve year after year depending on what I want to accomplish, what I feel is holding me back from reaching my goals, and how I want to feel during the year. 

When I reflect on my words over the years, one word has remained consistent - connect.  Usually, one word (such as leap, adventure, or dare) on my list has reflected my personal goal to take more risks throughout the year and not let fear hold me back. Frequently, another word (e.g., aligned, present, or centered) has reflected my desire to be more mindful and intentional about how I live my life. 

Karyn and I have never discussed setting words as intentions for the upcoming year until discussing this blog post. She has a similar practice of choosing one word or a short phrase as her intention for the year. This provides clarity and narrows her intention to a specific topic of focus.

In 2019, a nonprofit organization I worked for took all the employees through an exercise and identified one word —reimagine— as the word for the year.  As we spoke about projects throughout the year, we always returned to our word - reimagine -  for how to design, deliver, or measure results. It was a great word to push creativity and change throughout the organization that year.

The word(s) practice helps you be intentional about the upcoming year. It can also help you break the cycle — picking a behavior to change, going all in, vowing to be successful by the end of the year, and slipping up after a week or two — of unfulfilled New Year’s resolutions. Unfortunately, over 80 percent of us fail to achieve our annual resolutions.  By setting words, you become more intentional about how you want to live your life, which in turn, helps you be more successful in reaching your goals. 

My 2020 words were— listen, connect, inspire, and leap. When I reflect on my accomplishments this year, I see my words reflected. I leaped and left my full-time job of eight years to go back into consulting and start Rumblings. The foundation of the work I do every day is about listening to people, looking for ways to connect deeply with them, and inspiring them to live well. My words also guide me in how I want to parent. I want to be present, listen to each of my children, understand their individual needs, connect deeply with each of them, guide them, and inspire them to live to their full potential. 

Whether you pick one word or three, here are a few tips that we’ve found helpful:

1. Your words do not have to mean anything to anyone else — they’re your words! 

2. Keep the same word(s) all year.

3. Put your word(s) somewhere —  on a calendar, in a journal, as a screensaver, or on a Post-It note attached to your mirror — where you can see it/them every day. 

4. The more you review and reflect on your word(s), the better.

5. Use your word(s) as your mantra. 

How do you choose your word(s):

1. Reflect on the past year. 

2. Visualize how you want to feel, what you want to accomplish, and how you want to live. Creating a small vision board may give you ideas if this is a struggle.

3. Make a list of every word you can think of that reflects what you visualized. 

4. Review the list and narrow it down to your top one or three words. 

5. Give yourself a few days, continue to reflect on your words, and refine your list until you feel confident you’ve nailed them! 

Another reflective activity to prepare for the new year is to renew your vision. Walk through these steps to envision your future.