Overcoming Resistance to Achieve Your Vision: A Midlife Women’s Guide

“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.”

- Rosabeth Moss Kanter.

You have a vision for yourself but can’t seem to execute it daily. Why? Resistance may be getting in your way. 

So often, Karyn and I talk about the theoretical applications of making and sustaining a change you’re after in your life. 

Today, we want to chat about a simple technique we’re practicing that works. 

It all started when I read the following quote: 

“Let your resistance be, and it will let you be.” 

 From Baron Baptiste in his book Perfectly Imperfect: The Art and Soul of Yoga Practice.

The concept of this quote was discussed in reference to moving through yoga poses, and he explained that resistance—intentional or subconscious—will dissolve in the face of full acceptance. 

What is Resistance?

Resistance to goal attainment refers to obstacles, challenges, or barriers hindering progress toward achieving a specific objective or living your vision. 

Identifying Resistance

You can identify what you resist by focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors regarding your goals. Here are some ways to recognize resistance:

• Procrastination: Putting off tasks or actions necessary to achieve your goals.

• Negative Self-Talk: Engaging in negative self-talk, doubting your abilities, or feeling unworthy of success.

• Fear of Failure or Success: This is the reluctance to take risks or step out of your comfort zone, even if it means progressing toward your goals. 

• Perfectionism: Setting excessively high standards may prevent you from moving forward because you fear not meeting those standards. 

• Lack of Clarity: Being unsure or indecisive about your goals or how to achieve them. 

• Self-sabotage: Engaging in behaviors that undermine your progress, such as procrastinating, avoiding challenges, or seeking distractions, is self-sabotage. 

• Physical Symptoms: Manifesting as tension, fatigue, or digestive issues, especially when thinking about or working toward your goals.

Overcoming Resistance

By being mindful of these signs, you can identify and address resistance early by revisiting your goals, seeking support, or adjusting your approach. Resistance can change depending on the situation and circumstances, and how it manifests is sometimes dynamic. Acceptance is the secret to creating a new path or moving through resistance toward transformation. Acceptance often starts with awareness, which is more observational than judgmental. 

Examples of Overcoming Resistance

Fighting Cravings: 

Recognize and let go of food cravings by acknowledging them and then focusing on something else. For example, you could identify your craving by saying out loud, “I am craving something sweet.” Next, let it go. Think about something else. Grab a good book. Go for a walk. 

I’ve been practicing this for a few weeks and have discovered that resisting cravings keeps them alive in my mind, eventually leading me to eat or drink what I crave mindlessly. Instead, I have been practicing recognizing the craving and letting it be. My mind realizes the craving, then thinks about something else, and eventually, the craving disappears. 

Quitting Exercise: 

Too often, when trying to walk a little faster, lift heavier, or stretch, you feel discomfort or resistance. It feels better to stop; we get it. But positive change comes by overcoming this resistance (we’re not talking pain here).

I started practicing this in yoga. After years of avoiding stretching and not making time for yoga, my hamstrings got tight, so tight that touching my toes was impossible. As you can imagine, the postures were initially tricky and uncomfortable when getting back into yoga. 

Over the last few weeks, I’ve practiced recognizing and letting the resistance be. I’ve made a conscious effort not to quit a challenging posture or skip it altogether, but instead, observe and acknowledge the discomfort and then let it be. It’s incredible how much better I feel, and my flexibility is improving.

Move through discomfort or resistance by acknowledging it and continuing your exercise routine. Monitor how your observation of the discomfort may shift as you continue. 

Traveling Alone: 

Many women seek new adventures in midlife, and sometimes, the type of activities they desire don’t align with their friends or family members’ desires.

Fear is often the resistance holding you back from traveling your path alone. 

If you find yourself in this situation or any situation where fear may be holding you back, recognize that fear and let it be. Remember, fear is the discomfort of change. Living the life of your dreams requires change. And change requires moving through this resistance. 

Conquer fear by recognizing it and taking a step to travel alone or with a group of like-minded women. Research groups of women traveling to exotic locations you dream about, and sign up to travel with a group. 

Summary

Over the next week, practice recognizing your resistance. How do you respond? Do you quit? Do you back away or slow down? Recognize the resistance, observe it non-judgmentally, and then let it be before you make your final decision. More often than not, when you do this, you can move past the resistance and feel better as you accomplish what you envision for yourself. 

You’ll never live your vision if you don’t conquer the resistance to reaching your dreams. 

Do you need additional weekly support to ensure you are living in alignment with your midlife vision? If yes, check out these vision tools.

Unlock A Renewed You: The Power of Short-Term Health Challenges for Lasting Habits

In November, I (Rebecca) competed in a 21-day challenge at the yoga studio I attend. The challenge was to participate in 21 classes in 21 days. You could miss a day, but you had to make it up on another day.  Given that I had just gotten back into yoga after years away, I imagined this would be a motivating way to reignite my attendance. 

Not only did I successfully finish the challenge, I tried new classes I wouldn’t have tried otherwise, met new people, and had fun. The consistency also helped me improve my flexibility and feel better overall. 

I have to admit I have a love-hate relationship with short-term challenges.  On the one hand, they can be motivating. On the other hand, because they are designed for a limited period, it’s easy to make significant behavior changes, only to slip back into old behaviors when the challenge is over. Also, some challenges promote unsustainable behavior changes that don’t help support a long-term healthful lifestyle. However, understanding your goal for participating in a challenge can be a great way to kick-start a new routine and reap other benefits.

At Rumblings, we’ve conducted challenges like our 31-Day Commit to Connect Challenge, Move in May Challenge, 7-Day National Send a Card to a Friend Challenge, and Fruit and Veggie Challenge to kick-start a behavior change and reap benefits. We also have produced resources like our 90-Day Protein and Vision Journals to help women do the daily work to build healthier lifestyles.

The concept of a 21-day health challenge is often rooted in the idea that it takes approximately 21 days to form a new habit.

While the exact duration for habit formation varies among individuals, participating in a time-limited health challenge can help you:

• Kickstart Healthier Choices: A short-term challenge can jumpstart a healthier habit. It provides an opportunity to break free from unhealthy routines and kickstart positive changes in areas like eating healthier, increasing movement, and prioritizing self-care. Make sure that any challenge you undertake promotes a change you can maintain over time. 

• Increase Awareness: Participating in a challenge helps you to become more aware of your lifestyle choices, including dietary habits, physical activity levels, and overall wellness. This heightened awareness can lead to more informed and healthier decision-making.

• Experience Quick Results: A short-term challenge can yield noticeable results within a relatively brief timeframe. It can motivate and reinforce the positive impact of your choices, helping you stay committed to your goals.

• Build Accountability and Community: Challenges often come with a built-in support system, whether through a group, online community, or accountability partner. The shared commitment and encouragement from others can boost motivation and help you stay accountable to your health goals.

• Gain Momentum: Completing a short-term health challenge creates a sense of accomplishment and builds positive momentum. The momentum you create can be leveraged to tackle more ambitious health and wellness goals over the long term.

• Change Behaviors: The challenge can prompt you to modify your behavior.  Whether quitting a bad habit, adopting a new workout routine, or improving nutrition, a time-limited structure helps you focus on one change.

• Enhanced Discipline: A challenge period can support you in building consistency, discipline, and routine in sticking to your health-related commitments. A 21-day challenge is sufficient time to establish a routine. Routines provide structure and make it easier to incorporate healthy practices into your daily life consistently.

• Take a risk: A challenge can be the spark you need to try something you’ve been thinking about but haven’t yet committed. It’s that nudge to take the first step. 

It's important to note that the effectiveness of a time-limited health challenge can vary depending on individual preferences, goals, and the specific nature of the challenge. Sustainable, long-term health improvements often require ongoing commitment beyond the initial challenge period, but a challenge could be the spark you need to get started.

You don’t have to wait for someone else to host a challenge.

Consider challenging yourself to an end-of-year 21- or 30-day challenge like:

• Getting 10,000 steps a day

• Abstaining from alcohol

• Getting to bed at 10:00 p.m. every night

• Meditating for 10 minutes every day

• Stretching before bed

• Eating a minimum of 25 grams of fiber a day

• Getting a minimum of 30 grams of protein at every meal 

• Limiting your screen time to 60-minutes or less each day

Think about a habit you’ve been hoping to change. Create a time-limited personal challenge to reignite a healthier habit as you enter the new year. A couple of additional tips are to make it something relatively easy, specific in terms of what you will do on a particular day time, and in a pre-determined manner. There is no reason to wait another 30 days to get started. Now is the perfect time to challenge yourself and start the year on a new and improved path. 

Unlocking the Secrets to Aging Gracefully

Aging is an inevitable part of life, but it doesn't mean we must surrender to its effects without a fight. We have a choice in how we age; one powerful way to make that choice is through functional training. 

In this blog post, we'll define functional training and review its importance in mitigating the physiological effects of aging and how it can help you maintain the energy and vitality of someone years younger. Whether you're new to the concept of muscle fitness or looking to enhance your existing routine, this guide will provide valuable insights into aging gracefully.

What is functional training?

As we journey through the inevitable aging process, we face a crucial decision: 

1) accept it and let nature take its course, or 

2) fight it. 

The right exercise program can be a formidable ally in the battle against aging. It can deliver numerous benefits that minimize the physical toll of aging, allowing us to maintain the vigor and vitality of our younger selves. And functional training plays a role. Functional training is a type of exercise designed to train the body for activities of daily living. 

The functional training approach

Functional training is evolving, and exercising as we age can empower us with the strength and energy needed to fully enjoy life's activities and prepare for a healthier future. Instead of obsessing over the mirror and the scale, it's time to prioritize overall physical fitness. Every workout can be a magic pill that extends your life's length and quality.

To help make it easier for you to get started with functional training, we’ve included links to some of our favorite tools and equipment. 

1. Mobility and Flexibility Training - Mobility and flexibility training focus on coordinating body movements through space. This helps prevent common musculoskeletal injuries associated with aging, such as sore knees, aching backs, and general discomfort. By incorporating mobility training, you'll keep your muscles and joints healthy and mobile, paving the way for an active lifestyle as you age.

2. Strength and Power Training - Aging often leads to muscle mass loss and decreased functional muscle capacity. Strength training is the key to combating this age-related muscle atrophy. Additionally, power training enhances your muscle's ability to generate force quickly, which is essential for daily activities and preventing falls. Both strength and power are crucial for healthy aging.

Foundational Movement Patterns 

There are six foundational patterns of movement for mobility training and strength/power training. Whether doing mobility training or strength/power training, focus on these principal movement types:

• Hip Hinge – Hinge at the hip with both feet planted. The movement begins from the hip and has little involvement from the knees. Think of picking up a large empty box from the floor and bending from the hip instead of at the knees.

• Squat – both feet planted, movement begins at the hips but includes bending and straightening the knees. Think of lifting a box up off the floor with your legs.

• Single Leg patterns – It could mean exercises balancing on one leg at a time or having one foot in front of the other but still shoulder distance apart. Many lower body exercises can be done from this stance.

• Push – Pushing an object away from your body – either forward or overhead. Think of a plank, bench press, or pushup.

• Pull – Pulling an object towards you – either forward or overhead. Think of a pull-up or tug-of-war.

• Rotation – Rotation movements combine pulling and pushing motions involving both upper and lower body segments, where the pelvis rotates. Think of the action of chopping wood or an overhand serve in tennis, where your arms or upper body cross the plane of the front of the body.

Start Your Journey with Mobility Training

Incorporating these movement patterns into your training regimen is essential for achieving a well-rounded and functional capacity as you age.

Begin your fitness journey by prioritizing mobility training. This foundational step ensures you develop balanced physical abilities and functional capacity, setting the stage for a healthier and more active life as you age.

Mobility training should be a fundamental part of your routine, encompassing activities like stretching and connective tissue work with tools such as foam rollers, therapy balls, stability balls, and therapy bands. Three effective approaches to integrating mobility training into your regimen are bedtime stretches, Pilates, gentle yoga, and incorporating the use of props. These practices enhance mobility and provide a dual benefit by simultaneously strengthening your body. Whether you're new to exercise or an experienced enthusiast, these methods suit everyone.

Consistency matters. Even when a full workout seems daunting, allocating some time to mobility work, especially through stretching, is crucial. This effort contributes to preserving your muscles' and joints' health and flexibility. You'll be surprised at how spending as little as 15 minutes each day or incorporating brief stretch breaks into your daily routine can significantly affect your movement patterns and overall physical skills. Journaling your activity and scheduling it into your calendar is an excellent way to help you kickstart a new behavior. 

Once you've established a solid foundation in mobility, it's time to incorporate strength and power training.

Level up with Strength and Power Training

After establishing a solid foundation in mobility, it's time to take your fitness journey to the next level by introducing strength and power training into your routine.

Unleash the Benefits of Strength Training: Strength training offers many advantages, especially for midlife women. Notably, the results become apparent relatively quickly, with nearly any exercise involving weights or just your body weight leading to noticeable improvements in strength. The beauty of strength training lies in its versatility, providing you with a diverse range of workout options to keep your routine fresh and engaging.

Crafting Your Strength Routine: Begin your strength journey by incorporating strengthening exercises into your routine at least twice a week. Gradually, as your strength improves, consider increasing your training frequency to three or four sessions per week. You can kickstart your journey with bodyweight exercises. Still, as you progress, you may want to use various equipment like dumbbells, resistance bands, gym machines, or even barbells and heavier weights.

Dive into Specific Strength Patterns: For midlife women, it's crucial to include specific strength patterns in your training regimen. You can either integrate some of these patterns into each workout session or dedicate specific days to focus on each pattern individually. This adaptability ensures that you can maintain high motivation levels and continually challenge yourself as you become a healthier and stronger version of yourself.

• Unilateral Training: Unilateral training involves using only one arm or leg during an exercise. This type of training enhances the strength of the specific limb being worked and has an interesting side effect: research indicates that it can boost the strength of the opposite limb. Additionally, unilateral training contributes to core strength, stabilizing the spine and pelvis. This helps prevent muscle imbalances and enhances overall stability, vital for maintaining a healthy body as we age. The rationale behind this approach is rooted in the fact that many of our daily movements primarily engage one arm or leg at a time. Unilateral training exercises are often performed using dumbbells or kettlebells.

• Resistance Training: While all the discussed exercises contribute to strength improvement, resistance training takes a more intense approach. It focuses on using heavier weights and simultaneously engages the entire body or both limbs. For example, exercises like squatting with a weighted bar or performing bench presses fall under this category. The primary objective of resistance training is to develop the capability to lift heavier objects, thereby increasing overall strength. To achieve this goal, working with heavier weights is essential.

• Power Training: Power training is an often overlooked aspect of fitness, particularly for midlife women. Our bodies contain different muscle fibers, including slow-twitch and fast-twitch fibers. Fast-twitch fibers are responsible for explosive movements and are critical in enhancing the resilience of elastic tissues and ligaments. These areas are commonly associated with injuries and muscle strains. Unfortunately, age-related muscle loss often leads to a decline in fast-twitch fibers. These fibers are essential for preventing falls or reacting quickly, such as jumping out of obstacles or even leaping over small obstacles like puddles. Incorporating explosive movements into your routine can stimulate the development of these fast-twitch muscle fibers. Starting with small activities like brief bouts of skipping, hopping from one foot to the other, or even hopscotch can be an excellent starting point. Gradually progress to more challenging activities, such as jumping onto a box or platform or engaging in medicine ball slams or throws, possibly with a workout partner. Incorporating power training can enhance your ability to react swiftly and effectively, which is especially valuable as you age.

The Importance of Muscle Fitness

Just as aerobic exercise enhances heart health, muscle fitness exercises strengthen and improve skeletal muscles, enhancing your ability to move. Studies show that adults who engage in twice-weekly strength training reduce their mortality risk. Beyond health benefits, functional training adds quality to your years, ensuring you can enjoy your favorite activities for longer.

Aging may be inevitable, but how we age is within our control. Embrace functional training as a powerful tool to age gracefully, maintain vitality, and enjoy life fully. Incorporating mobility, strength, and power training into your routine will unlock the secrets to healthy aging. 

For more information and sample exercises, check out "Ageless Intensity" by Pete McCall, a valuable resource on this transformative journey. Embrace the 'silver bullet' of movement and enhance your cognitive function while adding quality to your years.

Mindset Transformation: How to Break Free from Limiting Beliefs and Achieve Your Goals

New mindset, new results. Transform your mindset today!

Are you caught up in thoughts like “I should do this,” or “I wish I could/would, but…” or “I am too old for that”? 

Yeah, we’ve been there too.

Lately, I (Rebecca) noticed that my flexibility and balance were “challenged,” to say the least. My hamstrings were as tight as ever, and bending forward had become more challenging. I was also really wobbly standing on one leg. 

In my mind, I kept telling myself I should get back to yoga. Eventually, I started voicing these thoughts to a friend who invited me to join her at a yoga class. For months, I kept making excuses like “I should do that, but I am too busy this week,” or “I can’t because of x, y, and z.” Sound familiar?

Well, my friend finally called me out on it! She said, “You talk about the importance of mindset as we age, but you’re just making excuses instead of taking action.”

She was right. Not only was my mindset holding me back, but I was also burdened by limiting beliefs such as, “I am not flexible enough right now,” “I should practice more before joining a class,” or the worst one, “I’ll be the oldest one in the room.” 

I stepped back and revisited my vision of how I want to live as I age. My actions were entirely out of sync with that vision. In fact, they were sabotaging my desire to feel and move well in my 70s, 80s, and beyond.

When our actions don’t align with our vision, we start feeling an inner restlessness or rumbling. In my case, it started in my head, and then I started vocalizing it. Unfortunately, I wasn’t listening to myself. And, because I hadn’t acknowledged and confronted those limiting beliefs, I was stuck in a cycle of inaction. 

How would I improve my flexibility and balance if I wasn’t taking action? 

Can you relate? We all want to change something about ourselves — eat better, get stronger, sleep more, reduce our stress — but often, we struggle to get started, let alone maintain those changes. 

So, how do you shift your mindset for lasting change?

Here are some steps to help you get started:

1. Listen for those inner rumblings. What is your inner voice saying? Take some time to be quiet with yourself. Try meditation, walk in nature, or grab a notebook to journal. 

2. Reflect on any “I should” or “I wish I could” statements you catch yourself making without taking action. Write them down. 

3. Ask a trusted friend or family member to help you identify these rumblings. Maybe, like me, you already have a friend who is good at calling you out! Listen to their observations.

4. Now, think about any limiting beliefs connected to these rumblings that may be holding you back. These often come as “not enough” statements or comparisons to your younger self or others. Write those down, too.  

5. Dive deeper into these limiting beliefs. Challenge them. For example, if you think I’ll be the oldest in the room,” ask yourself, “How do I know this? Is this thought based on reality? Why does my age matter?” 

6. Finally, jot down action steps you can take to address your inner rumblings. 

In my case, I signed up for a class at a new and nearby yoga studio. To address my limiting beliefs, I started slowly with a gentle class I knew I could handle. Once I got comfortable, I signed up for more challenging classes. And, you know what? I wasn’t the oldest or least flexible in the room. Everyone was there to work on their goals, regardless of where they started. No judgment, no critiques. I realized my limiting beliefs were mental barriers I created and were not based on reality.

How many opportunities do we miss because of self-imposed beliefs?

What was I missing out on? An incredible community of women of all ages who care about their minds and bodies through yoga. I was also not reaching my desired goals of improved flexibility and balance. I knew I had to take action, and I’m glad I did. 

Where are you stuck? 

Try the above activities to uncover how your mindset may hold you back. Don’t wait. 

I can’t wait to go to my next yoga class. I started feeling better and reaping benefits right away. Looking back, I realize what I would’ve missed out on if I stayed stuck any longer. 

Don’t miss out on the benefits of aging well. 

We’re here to help! 

Explore Rumblings resources to set a vision and break free from limiting beliefs:

The Rumblings Notebook is a beautiful tool to help you reflect and record your thoughts. 

The 90-Day Vision Journal will guide you through setting your vision, tackling limiting beliefs, and taking steps to make your dreams a reality. Live the life you’ve always wanted! 

How to Build Resiliency in Midlife

On Monday, February 13, at 7:31 pm, I (Rebecca) got the text no parent ever wants to receive. “MSU police report shots fired. An incident occurring on or near the East Lansing campus. Secure-in-place immediately. Run. Hide. Fight.” 

At that point, I wasn’t too concerned but worried enough that I texted my Michigan State University sophomore son to check-in. Fortunately, he was safe off campus. I called a few minutes later, and to my surprise, he had walked back to his dorm right into the chaos of the mass shooting situation. He made it safely to his room and, with his roommate, moved two dressers against the door and listened to the police dispatch radio as they watched hundreds of police descend on campus outside their window. And they prayed for a friend who had gone to work and was in the Memorial Union, one of the shooting scenes.

Our family was glued to the television for hours, feeling helpless over 600 miles away. Three students were tragically killed that evening, five were seriously injured, and more than 50,000 students, faculty, friends, and family members were impacted. Sadly, my son’s good friend in the Memorial Union was one of the victims killed.

Our family is not alone in suddenly experiencing the unexpected. Over the last year, I have been working with a University of Minnesota research team. We analyzed data from families participating in a seven-month obesity prevention intervention. The team was surprised by how many families experienced a significant life event during the program. The families described these life events as interfering with their ability to follow through on their healthy lifestyle goals. They were derailed and didn’t have the personal skills to get back on track quickly. In other words, many people don’t have the resiliency skills to help them reset after a setback, life event, or trauma. 

What is resiliency?

Not surprisingly, I have been contemplating the concept of resilience.

• What is it?

• How do we build it?

• How do we activate it during trauma or significant life events?

• How do we live with grit, tenacity, and mental strength and use our healthy lifestyles to support us during challenging times?

• How do we teach and model resiliency for others, like our children?

Last week, Michigan State University offered a virtual event for parents with Dr. James Henry, co-founder and project director for the Western Michigan University Children’s Trauma Assessment Center. He defined resiliency as the ability to overcome adversity and trauma and build the capacity to heal.

Whether you’re facing significant trauma or minor life events—things can get in the way of following through on healthy behaviors. As a result, you may feel like cocooning, escaping, or reaching for things that give your comfort (e.g., food and alcohol). These feelings are normal.

We all experience the unexpected—sometimes, we get thrown off track for a few weeks, and sometimes we get knocked down for longer (e.g., COVID). The ultimate goal is to develop and deploy resiliency skills to overcome uncertainty, helplessness, stress, and trauma. I am not a psychologist or a trauma expert. I recommend seeking help when you feel stuck and are experiencing physical symptoms.

However, I can share tips that helped me the last few weeks and tips that assisted other women Karyn and I have worked with during their midlife behavior change journeys.

How do you build resiliency skills?

• Start thinking about your healthy lifestyle—eating well, exercising, getting adequate sleep, and managing stress— as keys to helping you build resiliency when life is going smoothly. Suppose you believe your healthy lifestyle enables you to feel better and have more energy. In that case, you’re more likely to believe in your ability to engage in healthy behaviors during challenging times. You’re also more likely to view those behaviors as tools to help you versus seeing them as another thing to do when you don’t feel your best.

• Set up your environment to support you during good times and unexpected challenges. Stock your pantry with healthy foods. Fill your refrigerator with fruits and vegetables. Bookmark gentle movement videos to pull out when you need to relax and unwind. Set your bedroom up to be a sanctuary for sleep and comfort. Your surroundings can make it easier to maintain healthy practices during challenging times. 

• Recall past experiences. Think back to previous challenges in your life. How did you overcome those? What coping strategies did you use? Write down how you dealt with hardships in the past. Reflect on these past experiences when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

• Remember, getting off track with your lifestyle goals is ok. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to move through the challenges. Being resilient means getting back on track slowly, one day at a time when you feel ready. When you’ve prepared for the unexpected, it will be easier to get back on track.

• Move your body in healing ways. Your movement choices may look different—a walk versus a run, a stretch instead of heavy-strength training, or deep breathing or meditation instead of a strenuous workout. Do what feels right. Moving will help you feel better both physically and mentally.

• Reach for nourishing foods to support you as you move through your challenges. Doing this will give you the energy and focus on facing uncertainty.

• Seek connection. When you’re ready, talk about your feelings and what you’ve been through with others. Strength is in togetherness.

• Be hopeful. Challenges require moving through the unexpected and feeling what you’re experiencing. However, feeling confident you’ll be ok will help you adapt as needed.

• Model resiliency skills. Engage in healthy behaviors during difficult times as you’re able. Talk about modifications you made to your routine to support yourself. Share your actions and feelings with others around you. Share the what, why, and how you’re using your resiliency skills to help you through a difficult time. 

• See yourself as a resilient person. Anytime you associate a behavior as part of your identity (e.g., I am a voter versus I vote), you will be more likely to act that way when the time arises. 

We all face life events and unexpected challenges that impact our daily routines. The hope is that we can overcome the setbacks and realize our healthy lifestyle can support us through challenging times and help us handle hard situations with more energy and focus. These are skills that we can help others, like our children, build too, and during challenging times we can model resilient behaviors. These skills give us faith that we can walk through even the most challenging aspects of life. Living well requires resiliency, and as we get older, we may need to rely on these skills more often than we have in the past. 

Let’s Rumble with resilience!

Recognizing Midlife Challenges: Ladies, you’re not alone!

Fashion After 50, A Fashion Week MN Event. Photo credit: G. Marie Images

“Right after your breakdown is your breakthrough.” – Trent Shelton 

Do any of the following midlife challenges sound familiar? Weight changes, including changes in your physical body shape, loss of strength and balance, or changes in your metabolism. 

We’ve been surveying women since 2021; those were the most common challenges they shared experience in midlife. 

Women also told us about feeling achy, having pain, and experiencing a lack of stamina or fatigue. All of which interfered with achieving their exercise and fitness goals. Eating healthfully and getting adequate sleep were also on the list. 

They also shared difficulties staying connected and engaged with friends (or the loss of friends) and family due to life transitions. The lack of connection was often described as feelings of loneliness. 

Women also felt torn between managing grown children, aging parents, and not having enough personal time to care for themselves.

Financial stress and feeling prepared for retirement were also reported as challenges. 

The list challenge list continued, although not as many women reported the following:

• Feeling stressed

• Getting healthcare professionals to listen

• Being self-compassionate

• Enjoying life without guilt

• Feeling invisible

• Experiencing ageism at work

• Having anxiety

• Dressing for age

• Increasing disease risks

• Finding purpose

How do you feel when you hear the challenges and struggles of other midlife women? Do they resonate with you? 

Sharing this list is not to overwhelm you with midlife challenges you may or may not be experiencing but to help you see YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Midlife is a time of transition, and with transition and changes come challenges. Our bodies are changing. Our kids are leaving home. Our parents are aging. Our friendship groups are changing and evolving. We may be reassessing what we want during this phase of our careers. Many women ask themselves, ”What is my purpose, and what should my life look like for the next decades?” 

Experiencing these challenges that come with midlife are common than most women believe them to be. And the difficulties faced during this time are natural too. It’s time to normalize, talk, and share the realities of midlife and lean on each other as we learn to position ourselves to live vibrantly. We can and should flourish through our 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond! 

The good news is that we can overcome the new challenges of midlife! With the right tips, tools, and techniques, you can tackle these challenges and live your best life! 

Here’s what you can do to overcome your midlife challenges:

1. Write down the challenges you face in midlife. Be very specific. It is not an exercise about wallowing in our challenges but recognizing them to address them. 

2. Keep your list visible. Add to the list throughout the week. 

3. Sign-up to receive our bi-weekly email newsletter. In each email, we provide tips, tools, and techniques for overcoming challenges and creating lasting change in your life. 

4. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn, where we provide additional tips and talk about living vibrantly together.

5. Review your list frequently. Develop a plan to tackle one or two of the most pressing challenges you are experiencing.  

6. Take small steps every day to address your challenges. 

Most importantly, you’re not alone. We’re on this journey together, and at Rumblings, we believe women can and should flourish after 50!

Midlife Transitions and Challenges: A Call for a Renewed Vision

You feel a “rumbling” inside yourself that your life should be different from what it is right now. 

You’re not alone. 

One thing many midlife women have in common is the experience of an internal rumbling—a feeling something should be different or something needs to change. It may be hard to pinpoint where the discomfort comes from, but you feel an unsettling rising internally. 

This feeling could be the need for a change in your career, where you’re spending your time, how you’re taking care of yourself, who you socialize alongside, or how you experience fun. 

Whatever the cause…it is time to listen. 

Midlife is a time of transitions—kids are leaving home, friendships are evolving, careers are changing, parents are aging and need help, disease risks are rising, and bodies are aging. You’re not alone in feeling like you’re going through the motions, taking care of others, and postponing self-care during this time. As a result, you may feel tired, distracted, sleep-deprived, and lacking energy. 

The excellent news is…you’ve got this! You can reignite and flourish with a little focus, intention, and consistency. 

Here’s the thing, your old identity may be holding you back and sabotaging the future YOU. You may be stuck in old behaviors that are not aligned with who you are in midlife or who you want to be. You may be comparing your 20-, 30 -or 40-year-old self to your current self and unintentionally holding yourself back from living well now. 

“True behavior change is identity change.” – James Clear, author of Atomic Habits.

To create change, you must change your underlying beliefs about yourself and how you want to live. 

Your current beliefs and actions are a reflection of your current identity. Internal stories and limiting beliefs may be holding you back from living the life you envision. The rumbling you’re experiencing is most likely a reflection of an inner identity conflict—you want one thing, but your actions aren’t aligned. 

The best way to start feeling differently is to start living differently is to stop and reflect on your current beliefs, worldview, self-image, how you see others, and your biases. This is often referred to as your identity. 

Next, it’s time to reimagine a vision for your future self. 

You can do this by moving through the following steps: 

1. Close your eyes

2. Take a few deep breaths

3. Ask yourself:

• What is your vision for your life five years from now?

• What do you want to be doing and experiencing?

• Who do you want to be experiencing your life with?

• What brings you joy?

• What memories do you want to be making?

• How do you want your loved ones to remember you?

• How do you want your body to feel? Don’t focus on your appearance, but how do you want your body to FEEL?

• What energy do you want to be radiating? What energy and vitality do you want to put into the world?

• How do you want people to feel when they’re around you?

• How will you show up for yourself and your loved ones?

• Now think about ten, twenty, and thirty years from now. Does your vision change?

• What do you want your life to look like, and how do you want your body to feel and be capable of doing?

4. When you’re ready, write your thoughts, feelings, and vision down.

5. Repeat this exercise several times over the next few weeks to help you reframe and revise your midlife vision.

You are the architect of your life. To live your new vision, you must first let go of your old behaviors that are out of alignment. 

It’s time to start living your vision. 

1. Every day review your vision. Envision yourself living your dream. Immerse yourself in how you feel when your daily life aligns with your vision. Your brain will respond when you regularly visualize how you want to live. 

2. Next, take actions that are aligned with your vision. When making a choice ask yourself, “Is this decision or action aligned with my envisioned identity?”

Repeat every day, and soon you will reignite! If you need more help setting and living your vision, you may enjoy our 90-Day Vision Journal.

If you need help addressing your inner rumbling(s), check out our FREE downloadable worksheet to get started.

As you reflect on a midlife vision, you may enjoy reading two popular blog posts—Take Steps to Reignite Yourself After 50 and Five Ways to Reinvent Your Career— to get you thinking about the changes you want to make.

Our Tip to Banish the Midlife Blues

I (Rebecca) am writing this post while sitting in the emergency room at our local hospital. Sometimes it feels like the fog of the COVID pandemic is lifting, and life is slowly getting back to normal. Then there are times, like today, I am reminded that suffering and pandemic challenges continue for many people.  

Karyn and I often speak about the heaviness we sense when we spend too much time watching the news, scrolling through social media, or focusing on the lost moments of the last two years. It can all feel too divisive, overwhelming, and confrontational versus conversational. 

The world has changed in ways that we haven’t experienced before and will likely never return to the same ‘normal’ we lived before March 2020. We’ve changed too. And all of the uncertainty and change has left many of us languishing (living in a state of decreased vitality or blah) or feeling blue. 

Getting out of feeling this way will not happen by flipping a switch or willing ourselves to be joyful, happy, hopeful, and vibrant. There isn’t a perfect timeline for resilience. None of our experiences are the same. Some of us will need to sit with our feelings and emotions and process them longer than others. 

What has helped us feel better when we’re feeling this way—is turning off the news, filtering our social media accounts, assessing who we’re spending time with, and connecting with other midlife women to have honest conversations about what we’re feeling. 

Looking back over the last two years and creating a list of things that have changed our lives for the better has also helped us see the beauty in the season we’ve been through. The process has helped us see we’ve created changes in our lives that we’re proud of and bring us joy and are ones we will continue. It is a list we reflect on when we feel ourselves languishing. 

Here’s part of our list:

We edited our homes to support our health and well-being. Our family added an infra-red sauna in an unused section of our furnace room. Initially, we were worried it would be another household fad; however, we’ve found that the entire family is still reaping the benefits two years later. Karyn outfitted a fantastic outdoor space into an oasis to soak up the sun, relax, and entertain. 

We reconfirmed our need and enjoyment of daily gentle movement outdoors. We looked for quick ways to exercise due to our busy schedules during our intense executive careers. The pandemic helped us slow down, get outdoors on long walks, and appreciate the benefits of nature again. 

We reviewed how we want to live our lives. Yes, we launched Rumblings during the pandemic. It wasn’t easy, but the ‘extra’ time helped us dig deep into our personal ‘why,’ our talents, and who we wanted to serve as we age. We want to help midlife women feel valued, seen, heard, and vibrant. 

We reconnected with friends and family on a deeper level. We had deep, meaningful, and sometimes challenging conversations with those we care about without the chaos of sports schedules, work engagements, and life events. We relaxed. We listened. We grew.

We realized that facing adversity and missing out on meaningful moments such as graduations, weddings, and funerals, made us refocus, reflect, and reframe how we celebrate. We uncovered creativity we hadn’t used in a while and celebrated loved ones in new ways that created new memories. 

We rediscovered our love for growing and nurturing plants! My 16-year-old son recently asked me how many plants I had pre-pandemic (2) and how many I have now (28). I’ve realized that growing (and eating) plants bring me joy. Both Karyn and I also started growing veggies in pots and raised garden beds, a hobby that we put aside while we were both busy working and raising kids. Each year we’ve expanded our harvest! 

We learned. Karyn and I both are learners. We feel inspired, more energetic, and excited when we’re learning, whether through online webinars, events, conversations, or classes (most recently, Pickleball!). Learning doesn’t have to stop at a certain age. As our kids have grown, we have more time to learn new things and experience life in different ways! 

We’ve also learned we want to continue to support this fantastic community through tips, tools, and techniques that can help ourselves and others in midlife. One of these tools is resetting our mindsets to focus on gratitude, as we did with this list. Although some people can reset their mindset and take action to change how they feel quickly, for others, it takes more time. There is no ‘right’ timeline. We are each on our own journey. 

As organizational psychologist and best-selling author Adam Grant, Ph.D., wrote recently— “Strength is not the speed of your recovery. It’s the intensity of your resolve.”

Creating this list and reflecting on the last two years helped us feel grateful, content, and ok. Our inventory is not meant to be a comparison list for your evolution over the previous few years. It is intended to serve as an example to show and remind ourselves we have experienced joy, fulfillment, and positive change in our lives to carry into the future. Making this list, reflecting on it, celebrating change, and being grateful, helped us feel better. It served as a reminder that even when things happening in the world around us seems bleak, it’s possible to experience the full range of human emotion. 

The process has helped me feel better as I process the many medical challenges my family has faced over the last couple of months. 

We encourage you to make your own list, find joy and feel gratitude for the experiences, growth, and changes you have been through.

If you’re looking for more inspiration to reset your mindset in midlife check out earlier blog posts on finding a mindset reset and cultivating a reset mindset. 

Together we RUMBLE!

5 Ways to Embrace the Senior Discount

There is no category for midlife between young adults and seniors. Although AARP membership is open to adults 50 years or older and stores senior discounts often begin at 55, midlife women don’t think or feel like senior citizens. Plus, businesses and organizations aren’t effectively talking to midlife women in advertising, marketing campaigns, and customer service initiatives in a way that matches how we feel. This can take a toll on how women think about themselves as we age. Read our five ways to reset our midlife mindset to age well, and embrace the senior discount!

Last week a Walgreens employee nicely and appropriately asked me (Rebecca) if I qualified for the senior discount. Caught off guard, I responded, “How old do I have to be to quality?” She said, “55!” I wasn’t sure if I should be thrilled I didn’t qualify or disappointed I missed out on 20 percent off my purchase. 

Karyn and I often talk about the lack of a category for midlife between young adults and seniors. Although AARP membership is open to adults 50 years or older and, as we’re starting to learn, store discounts begin at 55 years old, we’re not senior citizens (often defined as over the age of 62).

With improved knowledge on prevention and new scientific discoveries around longevity, we would also argue that those standards should even be older. Why does it matter? Businesses and organizations aren’t effectively talking with us in advertising, marketing campaigns, and customer service initiatives in a way that matches how we feel. This can take a toll on how we think about ourselves as we age.

Although I am working on it, these confrontations can do a number on my mindset, which is usually pro-aging! That day, I walked out of Walgreens thinking that my wrinkles, hair, and lack of make-up must be screaming that I am old. Why else would she ask me about the discount? 

Luckily with the work we’re doing at Rumblings, I recognized my spiraling mindset and redirected my thoughts to how great I felt before I walked through the Walgreens door, having just finished a weight workout and a kale salad lunch. I quickly refocused my internal conversation to reflect that this woman was only trying to save me money rather than comment on my age or appearance. 

How do you reset your mindset when you feel too old, invisible, or undervalued? 

Try these five resets to swap positive thoughts for negative ones. 

Recognize your thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

Honor how you’re feeling. Sit with it. Be present. Is your internal chatter leading you down a positive path? Are these thoughts and feelings giving you energy or sapping essential resources? Is your reaction a pattern? So many of our responses are hardwired we don’t recognize how misaligned they are with our values. Aging is a good thing. Remember, you’re not alone in this journey.

Identify why you’re feeling this way.

Why are these negative thoughts, feelings, and emotions prioritized over positive ones? What can you learn from how you’re feeling to help you react differently? What was your trigger? My trigger at Walgreens was the word “senior” preceding the discount and the images I have about being seen as a senior citizen too soon. Reflect on your responses and write them down. 

Redirect your thoughts.

Think about alternative views you could swap for your current reaction to a comment or situation. How would different responses align better with your values? After I walked out of the Walgreen’s door, I realized I had let one question impact how I was feeling at that moment. My reaction was not aligned with my core beliefs and value of wanting to age well with vibrancy and positivity. I needed to redirect my thoughts to how I wanted to feel. I did that by reflecting on how I felt before walking into the store and how I could get back to those feelings.  

Practice how you will respond differently next time you’re in a similar situation.

Visualize your new reactions. Play them over in your mind. Practice how it could play out differently with a friend. How do these new reactions make you feel? The more you do this, the more likely you will naturally respond differently next time. 

Reignite.

We often talk about reigniting ourselves in midlife because the reality is we want to honor our age, learn from our experiences, and regenerate the spark that may have dimmed as a result of the anti-aging messages we receive daily in society. This takes practice. Stepping into how you want to live is necessary. Don’t hold yourself back based on society’s expectations. Just do it. Reset and reignite today! 

Next time I walk into Walgreen’s on senior discount day, I’ll be ready to embrace my age and ask for the discount because no matter how it is communicated, I am thankful, grateful, and saving money!

This process isn’t easy, but going through it is necessary to reset our mindset to feel great and live well as we age. Showing up as our authentic, vibrant, and true selves can also begin to shift the norms of how society views midlife women. 

Let’s RUMBLE, embrace our age, live well, and flourish together!  

Learn more about resetting your mindset through gratitude, fun, intention, and joy here. 

12 Simple Makeup Tips for Midlife Women

We don’t talk much about beauty trends and makeup in midlife because we deeply oppose the anti-aging messaging we witness in beauty industry marketing campaigns. This type of advertising puts too much unrealistic pressure on midlife women not to age. The messages women shouldn’t have wrinkles, gray hair, or sagging skin feed on our vulnerabilities and are wrong. 

We are aging. We shouldn’t hide from it. What we know about aging has evolved, providing us with opportunities to age well and differently than previous generations. It’s time to embrace our age, enjoy life, and live vibrantly into the future. 

Living well as we age and focusing on doing it from the inside out is possible. But, we also understand part of living well is feeling good in whatever ways work for you. If that means wearing trendy clothes, using makeup, using the latest skincare products, or dying your hair, we’re all for it! We do it too! 

In 2021, we were so pleased to work with Multi-Media Make-up Artists Amy Marie Reed and Carmelle Eickhoff. They educated us and other midlife women on how to adapt our makeup routines as we age.  

The information provided was so helpful that we asked them to share a few simple tips to help you make adjustments in your makeup routine so you continue to feel fresh and vibrant in midlife.  

Just like you refresh your wardrobe and update your style, you can use makeup and skincare to reflect your style and personality.

Take care of your skin first! 

• Moisturize. Moisturize. Moisturize. 

• Apply moisturizer before makeup and let it set before applying makeup. 

Use a foundation or tinted moisturizer to even out skin discolorations over the entire face. 

• Apply under the chin and down the neck area and blend well. 

• Use silicone moisturizers under silicone-based foundations. If you use a water-based moisturizer, use a water-based foundation. 

• Switch from cake or powder foundations to one that is cream or liquid.

Reconsider blush.

• Use cream blushes blending to hairline and high on cheekbones. 

Enhance your lips!

• Use lipsticks, glosses, and blushes interchangeably. 

• Avoid frosty lipsticks. 

• Have fun playing with color and top off with a “sticky” clear lip gloss for moisture.

• Avoid “smeary” glosses that will settle into lip lines and smudge. 

• Use your lip liner to fill in your entire lips for a long-wearing, matte lipstick look.

• For smoother, softer lips, use an exfoliator at night. Follow it with a Vitamin E Stick to bring full moisture back to your lips. 

• To prevent your lipstick from bleeding, try semi-matte lipstick. It has less moisture, but moisture is what creates movement of the lipstick. 

• After applying your first layer of lipstick, set your lip look with a translucent powder just like you would set your makeup, and then use another layer of lipstick for a long-lasting hold.

Avoid using too much powder, especially under the eyes. 

• Using a colorless powder over foundations to “set” foundations or conceal pore areas is fine - but less is more. 

Showcase those lashes. 

• Consider using a lash curler to lift lashes. 

• Apply mascara at the very root of lashes - wiggling it to get in the lash line. You may need two coats of mascara and remove any clumps after application.

Take care of your eyelids. 

• Eyelids get oily as time passes, so use an eyeshadow primer to help with shadow adherence and longevity and even out skin discoloration before applying shadow. 

• Stick with soft neutral shadows. Shadows with a sheen are preferable to shimmery or sparkly. 

• Eyeshadow primer is also helpful on lower lashes and lower lid areas to apply shadows used as a replacement for eyeliner. Avoid lighter or shimmery colors on hooded eyes. 

• Replace eyeliner with an eyeshadow in lash lines to darken and enhance lashes. 

Be sure to blend.

• Blend edges of all makeup, whether blush or shadows, to eliminate harsh lines. 

Consider concealers.

•  Start with very thin layers, and be sure not to miss the inner corners of eyes that tend to darken with time. 

• Gently tap concealers with a brush under your eyes or use the warmth of your ring finger to tap in. Less is more!

Set your look.

• Using a final overall face mist with a setting spray helps secure your makeup and make it last. 

Leave your brows to professionals.

• Professionally wax and tint your brows. 

• Touch-up brows with eye shadow or pencils in between maintenance appointments. 

End your day with a clean face!

• Wash makeup entirely off your face and neck every night.
  

Would you like more midlife fashion and style tips? Download Rumblings Media's Fashion After 50 Tips curated by fashion experts to help you edit your closet, build a capsule wardrobe, select swimwear, and more!

5 Ways to Reinvent Your Career

​And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom - Anais Nin

Today’s midlife women came of age during an era where women were told they could have it all; family, career, and fulfilling life where they could shape their destiny and choose their path. 

Many women chose to work. Others worked out of necessity, decided to work at home, or returned to work when children were school-aged. For decades women balanced work and life, leaned in, advanced in careers, and entered their 50s thinking it would be their time. 

Midlife is a time of transition. Children are leaving the nest, careers are peaking, and there is more time to focus on what is essential. It is a life stage when men are at the peak of their careers and earning potential. However, what women encounter is a society that expects us to remain ageless. We experience gender ageism in the workplace. Regardless of our prior accomplishments, we face a society that finds countless subtle ways to tell us we’re not as relevant, not as attractive, and less deserving.

It’s natural and normal to feel unsettled with a desire to explore what’s next. These internal rumblings can also come with inner self-doubt and negative self-talk — “I’m too old,” “I don’t look like I should,” “I’m not seen or heard.” Many midlife women feel stuck even though we have decades left to work, live well,  and flourish. 

Women also describe lacking authentic and deep connection with other women, feeling burned out, exhausted, and disappointed at a time that is supposed to be the pinnacle of their lives.

Women have been trying to live up to an unrealistic standard for too long, and as a result, they feel they’re climbing a mountain but never reaching the top. Sound familiar? The good news is that you can define what will come next. You don’t have to succumb to societal norms of acceptable and how we should age. If the original path no longer contributes to how you want to live your lives, it’s time to find a new one. 

We’ve spent the last year speaking with amazing midlife women who felt that same rumbling and have reimagined their lives and reinvented themselves to design a path for themselves that is more aligned with their values. They’ve reinvigorated their careers, built businesses, or taken risks to create a life to live well and flourish. 

Read their advice and listen to your inner RUMBLING. You can take steps to align your career with your values to flourish through midlife.

Define your universal skills. You have learned many things from your prior roles as mother, sister, daughter, aunt, caretaker, homemaker, and career woman that you bring to the table. You’ve balanced many demanding tasks and been successful at them. For example, women have a unique ability to context switch. It means you can switch between multiple unrelated tasks and improvise as you do it. 

You have superb negotiation skills from your personal, volunteer, and professional lives that you can use in any situation. You have negotiated salaries, employee engagement, bedtimes for a 3-year-old, rules for teenagers, daily living capabilities with aging parents, and everything in between.

You are resilient. You’ve successfully navigated every challenge that has come your way. You know your strengths, and you’ve learned how to either overcome, mitigate, or ask for assistance in areas of weakness. 

Write down the skills you possess that are universal to any situation and how you can use them. Ask friends and family what they think your strengths are and add them to your list.

Choose your core values and purpose over societal pressure. Consider what is most important to you. What are your core beliefs? What are your values? What is most important to you in the future? 

Have those values and beliefs been aligned with your decision-making? For example, have you made career or life choices that are in line with your values and best interests, or have you made sacrifices to put the interests of others first? 

Answering these questions provides an opportunity to be thoughtful and intentional about your importance. For many women, it can be about supporting and empowering others. It can be about giving back to the community and making a difference in the lives of others. 

It’s difficult for many women to focus on putting themselves first and discount any societal norms, but it’s crucial for finding meaningful work. If this is a challenge, ask yourself what matters more than money. Those are your values. 

Dream and design your path. Consider the course that keeps you closest to your integrity, values, and goals for your life and the future. 

What are the ways you can start to move towards that? It could be making changes to your current role, seeking new employment or career, taking on a side job, or volunteering. Where can you find other like-minded people with similar interests or who you can learn from? 

Networking and establishing connections with people you don’t know well is another universal skill that women possess. It is a great place to use those skills to meet new people and hone what unique gifts you have to offer. 

We have been amazed at how willingly other women have been to spend time with other women to share ideas, knowledge and magnify the voices of other women as they endeavor to design a new path.

Living from the inside out creates a foundation of health. It takes a foundation of good health to flourish after 50. Make your health a priority. It will support your self-confidence and help you feel connected while living genuinely from the inside out. 

It’s never too late to pivot. The science around aging and lifespan is evolving. We have been amazed and inspired by all of the remarkable women we’ve met who are continually learning, growing, and changing. 

Today, women who accomplish great things are more frequently in midlife and beyond. Fear is part of the equation, but courage is the calling to find clarity and purpose, and that belief is vital in the women we’ve worked with. 

You are not alone in what you’re feeling or experiencing. 

Women want to support other women in achieving their dreams. If the women in your life don’t support your dreams, seek out those who do. 

Striving to discover your remarkable and fulfilling midlife journey ensures your process will foster purpose, belonging, joy, and gratitude. It feels good!

Embracing and stepping in the beauty, liberation, and wisdom as you move into and beyond midlife empowers other women, young and older, to do the same. By tapping into your knowledge, experience, and wisdom, you engage with others differently and bring value to the people around you. 

Together we can change the way our culture views midlife and older women. We’re excited about midlife, the new things we’ll do, the risks we’ll take, and the women we’ll meet! 

Let’s reinvent, reignite, and RUMBLE through midlife together!

Seven Great Tips for Finding the Courage to Change During Midlife

‘Courage and daring are coursing through your veins. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen. That’s midlife.’ Brene’ Brown

Midlife is full of change. We experience transitions ranging from kids graduating and starting on their own, caring for aging parents, health issues of our own, becoming grandparents, changing marital status, household moves, and career moves. Not to mention the changes that are happening with our bodies! Some of the changes are wonderful. Others are very messy and complicated. The only constant is the change itself. 

One of the many things the two of us have in common is our strong desire to embrace change. You might even say we intentionally seek it out. As we prepare for a significant announcement for Rumblings representing a giant leap outside our comfort zone, even for us (check our social media and website for more information coming soon), we started thinking about how we approach change. 

The focus of our careers has been helping people navigate through behavior change. We’ve helped individuals change their health behaviors, assisted populations create a culture of wellness, and worked with large companies to transform their approach to improving the health of the people they serve. 

Personally, each of us has always embraced change. Sometimes, we’ve purposefully sought out change, even when life events weren’t requiring it of us. 

How do you move through change in a way that is healthy and develops resiliency? These are a few of the guideposts that we’ve used to help ourselves and others navigate change. 

• Learning to navigate through change is a skill. One of the best ways to build skills is through experience. You’ve been through change before and survived every single time. These skills you’ve developed help you become resilient in the face of change.

• Try to let go of what people think and realize perfectionism is not healthy striving. When you slip, make mistakes, and even fail, give yourself grace. Be mindful of your self-talk by respecting yourself as you would speak to others about making mistakes. It is hard for everyone to show this level of self-love. We tend to live in a world framed by the words “I’m supposed to do this” or “I need to do that” before everything is good in life.

• Spend time reflecting on what is truly important to you. The place to start is for each of us to spend time with ourselves in stillness, whether in nature, walking, reading, yoga, or meditation, to let our inner awareness reveal the things that no longer serve us. Being still, or time relaxing, helps cultivate creativity, reduces stress, and prevents burnout during times of change. 

• Cultivate a learning mindset. A learning mindset might include resetting your mindset to focus on the pleasure you experience from new things you are learning versus what you cannot do right now. It can be challenging to do this while in the middle of change, but it will help you discover the joy of so many new experiences in your life. It could be as simple as identifying what you are grateful for in the new day before your feet touch the floor in the morning. 

• Develop a support system. These are the connections and your community that will stand by you in times of need. They won’t try to fix your problems, try to change you, or minimize what you are going through. Instead, they are the ones in your life that will listen, provide a word of encouragement, a hug, and a reality check that you are not alone. Then, reach out to these people when you’re in need!

• Minimize mindless and numbing behaviors. During times of significant change, we need a temporary respite. Are the activities you’re choosing while taking a break an escape or numbing behaviors? What actions can you select to contribute to your ability to manage through change? Be mindful to choose the activities enhancing your creativity rather than diminishing your mental and physical health. It’s challenging to think about flourishing during times of change, but you can focus on replenishing your spirit. 

• Remember to breathe. Change can be overwhelming, even for those of us who intentionally seek it out. When you start to border on panic, fear, stress, or paralysis, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that you’ve experienced massive change before and made it through in one piece - although perhaps altered mentally or physically. You have what it takes to survive, and you are not alone. 

The reset mindset that change is something to embrace rather than dread may be one of the most important learnings of midlife. The challenges we experience in midlife don’t go away. It’s part of life. The difference comes from understanding that we can no longer carry both the pretend facade we’ve built for the outside world and embrace showing up and giving our true gifts. 

Time is growing short. We have unfulfilled dreams to live and things about ourselves to explore still. Resisting inevitable change prevents us from growing into a life that may be messy and inconvenient but also full of adventure and whole-hearted living. 

Sign-up today to get more information on how to flourish after 50!

Together we Rumble!

Karyn and Rebecca

Website: rumblingsmedia.com

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Reduce Stress and Improve Happiness: 14 Great Books to Read This Summer

One of the most inspiring perks of being partners in Rumblings is sharing what we’re reading with each other. Our text message chain is a volley of must-read recommendations. Often our business meeting conversations get distracted by sharing inspiration we’re having based on a book we’ve read. 

There is still something magical and simple about a book. The power to evoke an emotion, inspire action, ignite creativity, showcase diverse views, motivate change, and transport us to a different place and time through written language is a great gift. 

As lifelong learners, we both have been avid readers. Still, this past year has brought diversity in our reading and added fiction back into a routine that has previously prioritized nonfiction, professional books. What’s interesting — and maybe a little counterintuitive — is that reading fiction can contribute to overall well-being. 

Reading fiction is uniquely powerful in helping us imagine stories that activate regions of our brains responsible for better understanding others and seeing the world from a new perspective. Studies have shown that reading fiction can help us:

• Develop our imagination

• Build skills to be alone

• Be more empathetic

• Reduce stress (reading puts our brains in a similar state to meditation, eliciting the benefits of deep relaxation and inner calm)

• Experience slower memory loss and mental decline

• Develop a broader vocabulary

• Makes us happier

Although we've expanded our library to include digital and even audiobooks, evidence suggests that reading on paper increases comprehension and helps induce sleep due to being visually less demanding and less distracting, and lacking light-emitting screens. 

Health benefits aside, our biggest challenge is getting through our extensive list of “to-read” books. 

Whichever preference you have for reading, we thought we’d share what’s on our summer reading list. 

90 Seconds to a Life You Love: How to Master Your Difficult Feelings to Cultivate Lasting Confidence, Resilience, and Authenticity by Joan I. Rosenberg

All the Devils are Here by Lisa Penny 

Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate 

Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess: 5 Simple, Scientifically Proven Steps to Reduce Anxiety, Stress, and Toxic Thinking by Dr. Caroline Leaf

Finding Freedom: A Cook’s Story Remaking A Life From Scratch by Erin French

How the Word is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America by Clint Smith 

Somebody’s Daughter by Ashley C. Ford 

Ten Poems series by Roger Housden 

The Monkeewrench series by P.J. Tracy

The Alice Network by Kate Quinn

The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life by Edith Eger

Think Again by Adam Grant

Universal Human by Gary Zukav

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

What’s on your summer reading list? We’d love to hear what books are inspiring you and what you’re learning. Please share with us at  Rumblings Media or via social media with the hashtag #flourishafter50. 

Please support your local library or small independent bookstores whenever possible. 

Sign-up today to get more information on how to flourish after 50!

Together we Rumble!

Karyn and Rebecca

25 Ways to Build Strong Loyal Friendships After 50

Social connections matter throughout our lives, but especially in our 50s. Research has shown that strong relationships and personal connections help us live longer and bring joy to our lives.  

Too often, women in this life stage have told us they feel anxious, lonely, and socially isolated. But this year, more than ever, people are feeling disconnected and alone. Many women are languishing—living between feeling great and feeling down. It’s as if the effort of holding everything together to get through the pandemic has taken a toll. Now that things are opening up again, it may feel difficult to jump right back into a pre-pandemic routine and social life. And, you may not even feel like it. 

These feelings are common after difficult times, disasters, emergencies, and health crises.

In addition, midlife is a time of life transition — kids leave home, marriages may end, careers peak, homes get downsized, and aging family members need care and support. Social connections built while raising kids or building careers often disappear due to these midlife challenges and can result in a lack of deep and loyal friendships at a time when we need them most. 

Many women find themselves hungry for strong loyal friendships again but may struggle knowing how to develop new relationships with other women. 

Maybe this isn’t you. You have a robust and abundant network of female friends you can share and confide in. You feel socially connected. Your friendships bring you joy. Great news, this puts you in a perfect position to help other women. 

Whether you feel lonely, socially isolated, or deeply connected, these 25 ideas will help you build strong, loyal friendships and foster a strong social network after 50.

Connecting with other women matters. It’s up to us to ensure all women feel connected, supported, visible, and valued. We must lift each other up and ensure all women thrive through meaningful connections with one another. We need each other now, especially. 

Make a goal to reach out to one woman this week who you haven’t connected with recently, or at all. 

Imagine the difference you can make in your own life and the lives of others by taking the first step to connect, build deeper relationships, and create safe spaces for women to talk about what they’re emotionally experiencing. 

To get started, invite a girlfriend, neighbor, acquaintance, or complete stranger to try one or more of the following ideas with you. 

1. Share a Community Supported Agriculture (CSA) share and make a date to meet and divide the share each week

2. Explore a new local trail on foot or on bikes 

3. Check out a local pizza farm 

4. Try a new restaurant with a great patio 

5. Go berry picking

6. Have a picnic

7. Get coffee at a different shop each week

8. Go for a walk

9. Check out the fresh produce at a farmer’s market

10. Sign up for a community education class

11. Learn a new sport like pickleball

12. Take an exercise class together

13. Meet at an outdoor yoga class

14. Take a cooking class

15. Go to a free summer concert

16. Make s'mores around a bonfire

17. Attend a neighborhood association meeting

18. Cook a meal together and try a new recipe

19. Host a potluck or book club

20. Go to a festival

21. Walkthrough a zoo

22. Explore a museum

23. Take a dance class

24. Buy tickets to a sporting event

25. Go bowling

Don’t stop with just one invitation. Deep, meaningful relationships take time. Reach out. Be inclusive and supportive. Reap the personal benefits of connection and give the gift of social connection to others! 

Do you need more evidence supporting the value of social connection? Check out our four discoveries from Rumblings’ 31-day Commit to Connect Challenge last October.

Together we can make a difference! 

Rumble on! 

14 Ways to Find Joy in Your Diet

In 2012, my husband and I (Rebecca) challenged ourselves to go 100% vegan for one month. To be honest, when I committed, I didn’t eat a lot of meat. Dave, on the other hand, enjoyed meat, eggs, and dairy foods. As you can imagine, his vegan eating pattern lasted less than two weeks. Mine lasted over seven years.  However, I have to admit I was never comfortable calling myself vegan. I preferred to say I mainly ate plants, vegetarian with no dairy, or 90% vegan. 

Why was I hesitant to self-identify as a vegan? I’ve always loved all aspects of food — growing, preparing, eating, and experiencing the taste, smell, and textures. I grew up traveling, and part of experiencing and appreciating other cultures always included the food. For example, when I traveled to Canada, I tried poutine, and when in Scotland, haggis. My family trips growing up included visits to local markets and joining local food tours. Now, I design and share similar adventures with my children, such as sampling various types of tacos and agua frescas from local vendors on the streets of Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

For me, identifying and following one diet fad or way of eating such as vegan, paleo, Whole 30, Atkins, or gluten-free meant saying no to a valued experience. It also meant feeling like a fraud or diet imposter if I broke from the strict diet philosophy. 

As I’ve moved throughout my career, I’ve seen diets come and go, and the diet feuds only get worse. Individuals with strong food identities constantly fight online about which ideology has more scientific merit, extends life, or best fends off disease. In reality, and rarely mentioned, these ways of eating have far more principles in common (more fruits, vegetables, and fiber and limited ultra-processed foods) than conflicting advice (meat and dairy types and quantity recommendations). As a result of the fighting, many people are confused, fed up, disconnected, and feel like failures because they haven’t been able to comply with one or more of these restrictive eating regimens.

I am not saying that following a specific dietary pattern won’t have personal benefits for individuals. I’ve seen people lose weight, improve blood pressure, reduce blood cholesterol levels, improve blood sugars, and feel better by modifying what and how much they eat. I firmly believe in the health benefits of food — especially fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and whole grains. I also understand the medical necessity to limit foods for specific allergies or chronic diseases.  

At the same time, I strongly believe in the mental and social benefits of coming around the table to share a meal with family, friends, colleagues, and strangers. Something magical happens when we eat together and fill our souls with nourishing foods. We may be restricting joy in our lives when we are so strongly attached to a certain dietary pattern, believe recommendations are rules that if broken equal failure, or refuse to see the value in other approaches to eating. 

Are your food rules limiting your potential to experience joy from food or eating experiences?

Circle the statements below you practice. 

• I am open to trying new foods even if I am unfamiliar with the ingredients 

• I don’t feel guilty if I stray from my usual way of eating

• I accept invitations to social events even if I know I won’t be able to find foods within my typical eating style

• I don’t preach the benefits of the way I eat to others without them asking

• I try foods from other cultures even if they don’t align with my preferred eating pattern

• I eat and enjoy foods at holidays and family events that are considered family traditions even if they aren’t consistent with my diet rules

• I prioritize eating foods that are high quality and nourishing over foods that strictly comply with a certain diet pattern

• I understand that prescriptive eating patterns are merely a guide for choosing foods for good health, and understand that choosing foods outside of the recommendations will not derail an overall healthy diet

• I look for ways to find commonalities in eating patterns instead of denouncing the value of the food choices other people make 

• I understand that eating for health and well-being includes enjoying food, experiencing culture, and celebrating with family traditions

• I know that a single food or meal will not ruin or break any diet rules

• I don’t avoid eating categories of macronutrients such as carbohydrates or fats

• I realize a healthful eating pattern for me may differ from someone else 

• I understand that what and how much food my body needs may change as I age due to my activity level and body composition, and I am ok with that

Review the list. Did you leave statements uncircled? These may be areas of opportunity for you to modify and discover more joy in eating. 

As I’ve aged, I have to say I am tired of the all-or-nothing approach to eating. I don’t want to restrict the enjoyment out of my life by following a rigid eating pattern. Although I follow a plant-based eating pattern most of the time, I want to be able to dine with friends, travel, and enjoy a good meal without feeling stressed that I am breaking diet rules, if I try something unusual. I don’t want to feel guilty or not a part of a particular tribe as a result of the food choices I make. 

We live in a diet culture. We are experiencing a time of divisiveness where picking teams is more common than styling our lives in ways that bring us joy. As we enter the prime time of our lives, let’s focus on joy and re-design our lives to live fully and authentically. 

Instead of challenging you with yet a new diet for flourishing after 50, I challenge you to loosen the reins and seek joy in the experience of eating well without strict food rules. 

Rumble on! 

The Key to Getting Fit After 50

“Fitness is a journey, not a destination. It must be continued for the rest of your life.” Kenneth Cooper, MD, started the aerobics movement with his book Aerobics in 1968. 

As an exercise scientist with a background in health, conversations with family and friends often center around fitness and physical activity. 

This year has been especially challenging as most of the women we speak with have been sharing they were more sedentary and exercised less than they had previously. 

Combine this with the changes and effects of aging, and the body and fitness level changes have been dramatic. 

As one family member shared, looking in the mirror is shocking enough to wonder, whose body is this?!

It’s tempting to jump on the bandwagon of quick-fix diets and exercise plans. But we’re over that! Right, friends?

Just as you may have started and failed a myriad of diets or eating fads, you may have an on-off-again relationship with exercise and physical activity. Any promise for a quick fix is exactly that - fast and unstainable. Thankfully that’s in the past! 

And, unfortunately, the focus for exercising is commonly based on improving physical appearance, yet the more important benefits of exercising and being physically active come from the inside out. We need to have a long-term focus on living a healthy lifestyle. 

But, what exactly is the difference between being physically active and exercising? Which is better for us for a sustainable lifestyle approach as we age? 

Most of us have been told over the years that we need to participate in structured fitness programs - mainly cardiovascular or aerobic. For many, that means attending a class, getting on a cardio machine, running, or biking. Read our last blog post on how much exercise is optimal for health. 

The truth is, physical activity and fitness aren’t all-or-nothing propositions. And doing one doesn’t negate the benefit of the other. The real trick is to find ways to incorporate physical activity throughout our day, every day, with or without a regular exercise routine. 

Crushing it on the elliptical machine for 30 minutes, four times a week, only to spend the rest of your day sitting at a desk and moving to the sofa in the evening minimizes the health impact of your hard cardio workout. 

We’ve found that many women—whether they exercise or not—are short on meeting recommendations for physical activity. Research shows that half of all women decrease regular exercise during middle age. At the same time, women lose lean muscle mass as they age.

A key to leading a more active life and being consistent in creating a sustainable movement-oriented lifestyle throughout our lives is having a foundational base of movement incorporated through everything we do. 

The great news is it’s never too late to feel great, have more energy, and get significant health benefits from increasing both exercise and physical activity. It doesn’t take much to get results. 

All activity is beneficial, and the health and well-being benefits are additive. It’s like getting extra credit for having fun! 

Likewise, suppose you’ve been primarily sedentary. The good news is it’s never too late to begin being active. A great place to start is to incorporate more physical activity into your day. As you become a physically active person, you can add structured exercise activities that are higher in intensity and provide more cardiovascular fitness benefits. 

Read more here, in our last blog post.

Whether finding a foundation of increased physical activity or building on that base with a more intense, structured exercise routine, the key is to keep moving your feet. Move more and sit less.

We both love structured physical fitness activities. We aim to do cardiovascular exercises for a minimum of 60 minutes of vigorous activity or 150 minutes of moderate activity per week (learn how to tell the difference here.) But we also work hard to walk 10,000 steps per day. That’s how we monitor our daily activity and get inspired to build more movement into our day. Finding ways to get more steps in each day requires a great deal of creativity. But it’s also fun!

Check out the tips below to get started. 

Be prepared as you add more activity into your day; you’ll likely enjoy yourself so much that you’ll find yourself wanting to do more!

Start by setting a goal for yourself. Whether you want to maintain your current level of fitness and physical activity, start a new program, or kick it up a notch, you have to know where you want to go. Stay motivated by occasionally mixing up your routine or trying new activities for fun. 

Next, break down how you’re going to get there. Create your roadmap. One way to do that is by looking at the goals you set and working backward to map out the steps to get there. You’ve worked on this process before, and even though it seems simplistic, it works!

Write your goals down and keep them in a place (like your bathroom mirror or the front door) where you see them several times a day as a reminder. The actual act of writing down goals ignites an entirely new dimension of consciousness—your brain starts seeing opportunities that are difficult to attain if you're merely THINKING about your goals rather than actively doing something to achieve them. Plus, writing them down and in a place where you can see them consistently keeps you focused on what you want to accomplish and why. 

Review your progress regularly. Being active for life requires some creativity based on what activities you enjoy doing, your schedule, and what feels best for your body. Don’t worry about whether or not you did what you needed to achieve your goal yesterday. The real question is, what are you going to do to achieve your goal today? 

Reset your mindset to focus on your body’s exceptional capabilities. Just as food is sustenance and fuel to keep your body nourished, physical activity and exercise keep your body strong, healthy, and supple to support the life you want for yourself. 

Whether that is having fun with your friends, staying strong, chasing after grandkids, or keeping up with our teenagers or young adults, focus on the benefits and beauty of living an active lifestyle. Our bodies are a gift.

It is difficult to watch our parents and elders struggle with weakening bodies that are wearing out. However, research shows that physical activity and exercise significantly impact our strength and ability to remain independent and strong with more vigor and vitality until the end of our years. Now that’s something to be grateful for!

Discover the joy in the journey. Physical activity in and of itself can be fun and a means for living in the moment to create beautiful memories. 

Think of things that you can do with loved ones or friends centered around being active together that would be memorable. 

Moving more may also be a great goal to set together with others. It’s more fun to be active together, you’re more likely to both stay committed to your goals, and you’ll be supporting each other with a gift of health. 

Being active with someone else is an opportunity to connect and can be a new way of interacting. Make a date to hike through the woods to see the beauty of a waterfall at the end of the trail, learn to play pickleball with a few girlfriends, or share a bike ride with grandkids. 

Be consistent. Physical activity and exercise both have to be consistent to achieve long-term benefits. It truly is a use it or lose it proposition. 

Research shows that as humans if our physical activity is purposeful (gardening, biking/walking for transportation) and meaningful (things we enjoy such as hiking or pickleball), we are much more likely to maintain a healthy lifestyle. 

Use these tips to incorporate purposeful activity into your life. And, remember, when you’re ready, adding vigorous exercise and fitness activities can add even more health benefits. 

You can be a person that values fitness and health. If you need a reminder - keep a list of your goals, the activities you want to do, and the memories you want to create in a place where you can see them day after day. 

Rumblings’ philosophy on food, fitness, and physical activity focuses on the science and knowledge that your body is made for movement. Keeping this in mind will continually replenish your zest for life and enable you to thrive!

Want more ideas on ways to be active? Want to be inspired by other women? Join us this month as we get active together. Download our idea sheet. Follow us on social media as we post our ways to #moveinmay and #flourishafter50. 

In upcoming blog posts, we will cover how to measure if you’re getting enough physical activity and exercise, the importance of caloric balance and weight training for optimal health, and weight management for women in their prime time. Sign-up today to get more information on how to flourish after 50!

Rumble on!

Karyn and Rebecca

*Disclaimer: If you have doubts about your health, are experiencing signs or symptoms, have been previously sedentary, or are looking to alter your physical activity or intensity levels, please check with your healthcare professional.

More Than 25 Ideas for Living Well and Making This the Best Summer Ever

Spring is here! The days are growing warmer, longer, the birds are singing, and nature is awakening after a very long winter. The idea of renewal and awakening is meaningful after the extended hibernation of this past year. Spring typically brings a sense of hope and new beginnings, followed by an increased energy that is uplifting and positive. 

Many women have been telling us they are emotionally exhausted - the fatigue comes from caring too much for too long. They’re feeling burned out after the heaviness and struggles of this past year. We feel it too. 

We’ve dealt with many unknowns, changes, and disappointments, but we’ve also found new ways to laugh and be in the moment. We can embrace that and find joy in those new experiences and smaller everyday moments.

Some of us will sprint forward, anxious to get some semblance of our lives back after putting everything on pause. Others we speak with feel apprehensive and uncertain. 

Whatever feelings we’re experiencing, we can still begin to move forward through this tunnel to the other side. 

Let’s appreciate all we’ve been through and all we have learned about ourselves. It’s all helped us grow. Let’s look to the future and plan more fun and festive activities to do TOGETHER with friends and loved ones! 

Here are some of the activities we’re planning and putting on our calendars for the next few months. Some are tried and true. Others are new interests we want to explore and experience, refining what is most important to us over the past year. 

Join us as we jump into spring with a renewed mindset and mission to flourish, have fun, and live well. 

• Go outside and set an intention to notice  the small things — Spring blossoms, tree buds, sunshine, or just the fresh breeze

• Read a book while sitting in the woods, listen to the sound of the wind in the trees

• Rethink your wardrobe as you start wearing non-athletic or leisurewear clothes again

• Refresh your exercise routine: do more outdoor activities, maybe go back to the gym

• Get picnic supplies and schedule a series of picnics with friends and family

• Plan short or long road trips along scenic highways, with specific stops along the way

• Re-evaluate your skincare and makeup routine to better fit with your new lifestyle

• Plan a hiking and camping trip

• Plant a flower, herb, or vegetable garden and share the bounty with others

• Make a top 10 list of new things you’d like to try or places you’d like to visit

• Become a tourist in your town or city, going to places you’ve never been

• Visit a new beach, lake, or river 

• Do yoga, tai chi, or meditate outdoors, either by yourself or in a class

• Schedule a guided nature hike at a regional or state park

• Go berry picking at a local farm

• Stargaze to see how many different constellations you can find, maybe with a telescope

• Buy postcards wherever you visit and send them to people describing your adventures.

• Play fun outdoor games like cornhole, badminton, tennis, or Pickleball

• Take a lot of photos and create picture books and share to memorialize your fun

• Split community-supported agriculture (CSA) share with a friend or neighbor

• Check out a new neighborhood farmer’s market each week

• Rent equipment to try a new outdoor activity (hiking, kayaking, canoeing)

• Plan a campfire and outdoor hootenanny

• Plan a weekend getaway, or road trip with some of your favorite people

• Make reservations at local restaurants you haven’t tried yet and invite someone new to go with you

• Plan celebrations around small milestones — 5 workouts in a week, finishing a big work project, speaking up when your instinct was to stay quiet, or a friend’s promotion, your son or daughter’s new apartment,

• Make a pact with a friend to do something new or adventurous each week

We could go on and on - but even preparing this list got us excited to plan more fun activities. You get the idea, and we can’t wait to hear about your adventures! We’d love you to send us a note or connect with us on social media on your ideas or how you’re planning for this next phase. And, please send us pictures!

Rumble on!

Discover 5 New Techniques to Improve Your Mind-Body Connection to Live Well After 50

As we’ve aged, advertising and marketing messages told women we could have it all. Unfortunately, as a result, we felt we needed to do it all.

Instead of empowering women, our society normalized simultaneously working tirelessly, raising kids, taking care of parents, juggling family schedules, keeping up the home perfectly, and being superwoman 24/7. 

For many of us, reaching 50 was the moment we asked if there was more to life, if we needed time for ourselves, or wondered if we had a purpose beyond family and work. It's not that we don't love our children, careers, or our families. We have a rumbling that there might be more for us individually in the next half of life. 

However, as women have more power than ever, we have found ourselves powerless to manage some of the messy transitions that brought us to midlife.

Transitions are different for each of us. We can all relate to significant milestones at this stage in our lives - kids leaving home, aging parents, job transitions, or divorce. The reality is that messy midlife transitions are a part of all of our lives. 

You’re not alone. We can use practical tips, tools, and techniques to rethink our rhythm for living well after 50 to understand better how to decouple our experiences, patterns, and beliefs from our approach to handling life stressors and tumultuous times. 

A group of Rumblings women came together virtually with Shelly Melroe, MS, AS, LMFT, owner of Rhythm for Living Therapy & Counseling, to learn how to resync our mind-body connections. We discussed finding compassion for our unbreakable habits, negative self-talk, and limiting beliefs we bring into midlife that may be preventing a healthy mind-body connection and authentic journey into midlife. 

We all have patterns and habits for reacting and dealing with difficult or uncomfortable situations. We may not realize that those patterns and habits stem from our beliefs about ourselves that we deeply imprinted from our life experiences. Some of these experiences can date back to when we were infants and impact how we assess a situation or interpersonal exchange and how safe we feel as adults. 

Most often, these patterns come out as automatic physical responses when we encounter an uncomfortable situation. That body sensation could be a dry tight throat, heart palpitations, a voice that cracks or raises, cold hands, a need to fidget, or even flushing of the neck or face. These emotions or feelings may build-up for some women until they eventually spill over in a fight or flight response. Others may completely shut down in an attempt to remove themselves from the situation, and it may lead eventually to an outburst. 

We've all experienced these body sensations, but what we may not know is we can recognize these body responses and use the energy differently, in a healthier way. Recognition will help us break the cycle and stop impulsively and unconsciously repeating the same patterns shaped by our beliefs and life experiences. 

Our beliefs aren't something we consciously choose.

Beliefs evolve from our upbringing and how people interacted with us. They are part of human development. We learn through our interactions with others. Our beliefs shape how we perceive our relative importance compared to others. We realized what was safe and what was most honest in the world. 

We rarely think of our beliefs, even when they impact our daily lives through negative self-talk. Talk that may include thoughts like, 'I can't go back to school.’ 'I'm not fit enough, or 'my skin isn't smooth enough. 'I don't deserve to go on that trip.’ 'I don't deserve that new sweater.’ These beliefs about who we are, especially those put on us by others, are insidious and subtle and the most damaging. They come out as second nature, with little thoughts creeping in the back of our minds as we go about our day – even when we believe ourselves to be very confident. And each time we repeat this pattern of negative self-talk, it further ingrains our beliefs and habits within us and adds layers on top of our emotions.

That voice inside our head seems to get louder and louder as we get older, along with a fear that we're admitting we need help or are not satisfied if we bring it up. Instead, we may need to recognize that perhaps we can't do it, don't have it all together, or are exhausted after all these years of appearing to juggle everything effortlessly.  And, that’s ok. These are the fundamental and often real messy life experiences. 

What can we do about the negative self-talk? Can we change it? Can we do something differently? Are we getting in our own way? 

There are many approaches to working with and modifying our beliefs to align with how we want to react, learn, and grow during our life transitions, who we want to be in midlife, and what we want to accomplish in our prime time. 

Once we recognize these limiting beliefs, we can name the emotions behind them and begin to tame and reframe them into a reaction that helps us achieve a more positive outcome. It requires going deep within ourselves to get in touch with the emotions we experience. Next, recognize what caused the emotion. By understanding where that emotion originated, we can try to reframe it. 

It begins with hanging onto your thought and remembering, whatever you are experiencing or whatever your self-judgment, maybe it got there naturally and honestly from your life experiences. Thoughts can stem from wounds dating back to childhood. You may have developed protective mechanisms in situations to help you feel safe. You do have the ability to heal these old wounds. The desired outcome is to resync your emotions with your thinking and with your body and integrate them. 

Resyncing emotions allows us to reframe our beliefs, patterns, and habits. We can find the space to be secure in managing messy transitions in a way that opens up possibilities to grow, learn, and take advantage of opportunities that come our way in our personal and professional lives. Midlife gives us a chance to reimagine and reignite who we are and what we want from this life. Each of us has a story, and it may shape us, but we can separate ourselves and our sense of who we are from it. Our stories and our history do not define us. 

Below are some of the skills that we can work on to help us navigate a new way of harnessing the power of a healthy mind/body connection. Start with small changes to find an untapped spaciousness to open our emotional circuits and walk into the authentic power within each of us.

• Recognize your emotions: Learn how to reconnect with your body and accept your current habits and beliefs by examining your emotions. Be aware of the feeling. What are the physical clues you have happening in your body and your sensations? What are you aware of or thinking? What state are you in during the moment? When you begin to recognize these emotions, you can start to engage with yourself. You can also begin to connect with others very naturally. Become more open. You can start this by journaling your emotions and patterned responses and the energy you noticed as you became aware of that pattern. 

• Name your emotions: Get up close and personal with your current rhythm - learn how to go into an empowered and healthy emotional state more naturally. Learn to name the emotions you're feeling. Try to connect to the emotional side of yourself. Begin to name those emotions as you're experiencing them or when you're holding them back. Be graceful with yourself and acknowledge that there is no benefit to judgment. You're experiencing that emotional state because it's something important to you. 

• Experience your emotions: Feel the rhythm with your emotions. Bring awareness to your emotions and thoughts so that you can change the limiting beliefs and habits that may be holding you back. Learn to tame the emotions by allowing yourself to experience them. Begin to understand if you tend to go into a hyperarousal state or if you tend to shut down in uncomfortable situations. What are the thoughts (beliefs), movements (habits), body sensations, and emotions you feel? Do you take a position of blaming others, or do you feel sadness, shame, helplessness, anger, disappointment, frustration, or vulnerability? 

  Eventually, you'll be able to harness that energy more positively if you can avoid the natural fight or flight tendency (e.g., avoiding what you’re feeling). Start with a PAUSE where you allow yourself to sit with or even step into the emotions. Doing this is difficult, but it gives you space to move away from autopilot so you can change your existing beliefs and habits by integrating the information you're receiving into your thinking and decision-making. 

• Reframe your response aligned with your values. By sitting with your emotions, you’ll experience an inner fire on the other side. By learning to tap into this empowered state, you’ll experience courage, compassion, and clarity with your emotions as your energy source. New energy allows you to reframe your response because you created space for yourself. When you are predominantly in your empowerment state, courage, compassion, and clarity will come naturally. Your emotions become the guide for your passions, desires, and values. You can begin to tap into this empowered state with a meditation or mindfulness practice that includes a body and emotion scan. It means we don't fight, flee, or shut down but show up to the experience in different ways. We can be more curious if that reflects who we are or if we get pulled into it because of our story. It becomes a place to start connecting emotionally to examine the type of energy that occurs when you recognize you could feel safe in the rhythm of the situation.

• Enjoy a new rhythm for living. By having an integrated daily rhythm, you create a complete integration with your mind and body. You have a new daily rhythm for living that is more aware, with different behaviors, positive thoughts, and more integrated. You begin to accept current habits and beliefs and even start to use them to tap into an empowered state of courage, compassion, and clarity with your emotions as your energy source. When you’re intentional with your feelings, rather than acting out of impulse, you create a more natural, healthy, and connected state for yourself. You can have harmony in your differences with others and even use those differences for growth. 

Coming into midlife is our chance to learn and consciously decide where we want to go next in our lives, how we want to grow, and how we show up for ourselves and those who matter most to us. Midlife is an opportunity to embrace our inner selves, become more integrated, and live well.

Let’s take advantage of our capacity to move through messy midlife transitions, let go of old ways of being, and reignite our journey to flourish after 50. 

How to Use Your Brain to Age Well and Stay Young

We all have the capacity to be fluid or fixed in our mindset. The growth path is to be adaptable to certain situations - to allow ourselves to be moved and changed due to our environment, experiences, and creative process. A fluid mindset creates new brain pathways leading to success, improves creativity, and helps growth, which will enable us to deal with the uncertainty ahead.

This past year has been a rollercoaster, full of highs and lows co-existing in a new definition of our human experience none of us were expecting. It’s lasted longer than most of us ever imagined.  

None of us has a crystal ball to know what the future holds, but it seems more unclear now than ever. Not knowing what’s coming next, nor how to plan for it and predict even the near future in any reasonable way, can be frightening and frustrating at the same time. 

It may feel as if time is standing still, but change is happening around us. In some aspects, change is accelerating. Without realizing it, this past year, we’ve also been gaining the skills and tools we need to reframe our plans for the future and redefine what that will look like, no matter how uncertain that future may be. 

In our last blog post, we shared how to become aware of unconscious cognitive biases that impact what we perceive, how we think, and what actions we take. 

As we begin to understand our unconscious biases and start reshaping our perspectives, decisions, and behaviors, our mindset begins to shift. Becoming aware of our preferences and shifting our mindset allows growth to occur, which will enable us to deal with the uncertainty ahead. We will have the fortitude to persevere in the face of the fear that comes with the unknown.

Below are just a few of the mindset reset types emerging from a growing body of research into the social science and neuroscience of how our brains work. Becoming familiar with them can help change our thinking and identify behaviors we’d like to modify.

Abundance vs. Scarcity - An abundance mindset focuses on the possibilities of what could be, resulting in feeling hopeful, grateful, and fulfilled. It begins with believing that we are enough. With that sense of being enough, we can embrace our worthiness, create boundaries, and be more fully engaged. It opens us up to be willing to be more present, allowing us to show up more fully and authentically. It requires vulnerability. 

A scarcity mindset is a notion that there is never enough, or worse, that we are not enough. This scarcity mindset can ultimately lead to internalizing our worthiness compared to others. Brene’ Brown describes scarcity as being the opposite of enough. Before we even get out of bed in the morning, our self-talk focuses on assessing and comparing ourselves to others - “I didn’t get enough sleep.” “I’m not _____ enough.” “Remember when?”. 

We all struggle with being open and vulnerable and wrestle with the self-doubt that comes from wanting to shield ourselves and fall back into a scarcity mindset. It takes awareness and continual practice to cultivate an abundance mindset. 

Growth vs. Fixed - The belief that mental abilities decline during aging is evolving. It turns out, peak mental age is later than believed, especially if we view our prime time years as an opportunity to reinvent and develop new interests. Creative capacity exponentially increases by pushing boundaries and learning new things by creating new neural pathways and causing our brains to change, no matter our age. Our brains also have excellent muscle memory from past experiences and knowledge that can help us master new challenges more quickly. When we continue to experiment, learn, and experience new things, our creativity compounds, especially in our later years. 

The challenge is the brain tries to be as efficient as possible and has a natural tendency to take the path of least resistance in our thinking processes. It has a preference for sticking with what is most comfortable. When we allow ourselves to give in to those tendencies to give up easily, avoid risks, and stop trying during the challenging parts of learning new skills, is where we succumb to a fixed mindset — we’re too old to change, or it’s not worth trying because it won’t matter. 

Infinite vs. Finite - A limitless mindset calls for continual growth and improvement. There is no end. The fulfillment comes from the journey and challenging yourself to become better. An infinite mindset applies to learning, leading, being healthy, and those things where it’s vital to strive constantly to stay in the game or participate in the journey. It’s about advancing something bigger than ourselves - we will never get there, but even so, we continue striving forward. We can have a finite goal to know we are making progress - such as a weight-loss or fitness goal, but striving for good health and well-being is an infinite mindset. We don’t reach an end and stop; health is a journey.

When we get caught up in a limiting or finite mindset, we can get stuck in repeating negative self-talk or thinking through the worst scenarios and outcomes. But those ‘what if’ statements that we play in our minds can go both ways. More recent science suggests that our brains are not only malleable and can change but have the ability to develop new pathways. 

Accepting change can be challenging, mainly because it requires action and growth. Resisting change almost always comes out of a transition from something happy and pleasant, or at least comfortable. Change may be uncomfortable and unpredictable. Given that change is inevitable, it is time to embrace change, see it as an opportunity for growth, and understand that the process is essential for brain health.

There are steps to can take to reframe how we experience change. These actions may help our head and heart surrender to embrace the natural discomfort that results:

1. Remember the reality that change is constant and inevitable. We go through change on average every 12-18 months. It’s a natural process.

2. Run through future scenarios and work them out in our head, using the negative ‘what ifs’ as an opportunity to make mistakes in your head so we can avoid them in real life. Then pivot and also play out ‘what if’ scenarios that may result in a positive outcome. 

3. Reflect on the benefit of age and experiences. Think about times you’ve embraced change and how you grew as a result. Remember, over time, we tend to gloss over the more painful struggles and hurt and remember the good memories and the growth we gained from change. You have survived change 100 percent of the time. 

By reflecting on our past experiences, it is almost always the more challenging times and events that lead to more meaningful progress in life. The past year’s challenges can be a tremendous opportunity to transition and have the potential to bring a new way of being in this world if we’re open to it. 

At Rumblings, we believe our prime years and our best accomplishments are still ahead of us. We also believe that to achieve our goals and make our dreams a reality, abundance, growth, and infinite mindsets are critical. 

Yes, change is accelerating, but perhaps one of the learnings from this pandemic is that it gave us the tools that we desperately needed -  time for stillness and going inside ourselves so that we can have a fresh look at the world around us. The deeper insights we gain, combined with our wisdom, allow us to more carefully curate the change and the dreams we have for our lives. 

The fortitude to persevere is the cousin to confidence - it is what comes from creating new brain pathways that lead to consistent success at achieving goals. We have the wisdom of our life experiences from which to pull. There is power in that knowledge gained from our experiences, especially when we realize we’re not yet fully formed. We can only open ourselves to this potential if we consistently choose the more open mindsets and build confidence in our capacity for change. 

We will all have doubts. It’s a constant reframing practice, pulling ourselves away from the negative ‘what ifs,’ self-talk, catching ourselves sooner, and gaining strength in our abilities. That is part of creating new pathways in our brains and developing new patterns of thinking and behaviors. 

Brain malleability is learning from doing and developing new muscle memory. You can pull from that to form mastery gained from your previous muscle memory and experiences. Building from previous experiences to create even more pathways is the key to a long, fulfilling, and prosperous life quality in your later years. 

Do the work. You’re growing and learning. More than ever, now is your time to shine and share your unique gifts. 

Together we Rumble!

Karyn and Rebecca

5 Ways to Uncover and Challenge Unconscious Biases Today

By uncovering your unconscious biases you can reshape your perspectives, decisions, and behaviors.

Several years ago I chaperoned my son’s soccer team at a college showcase tournament. Since this was a high-level team, we traveled to the out-of-town tournament by air.  The team was made up of 18 young men from Minneapolis and surrounding suburbs, all within the same 12-month age span, and all with a passion for the game of soccer. 

On our trip home, we successfully received our boarding passes, and the 18 players and two mom chaperones headed to security. When we arrived, we realized that some of us had been assigned to skip the long security line and go through the TSA PreCheck line. 

One by one we looked at our ticket and chose which line to go to — left regular or right PreCheck. Suddenly I heard my son scream, “MOM!” And, with horror in his eyes, he yelled, “Look at how they segmented us.”  Slowly, I looked up and saw the players of color on the left side of the rope and the white players, and two white moms on the right. I too was horrified. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. My heart started racing, as I shared my surprise and frustration with the other mom. 

The PreCheck line was shorter, so I maneuvered in front of the few white players from the team and leaped towards the security checkpoint. I found myself standing in front of a young black woman and I said, “Please take a look behind me. I am chaperoning those young men. They are from the same community and are on the same team, but yet have been segmented by race for security. This is inexcusable!” 

She looked at me and repeated, what I assume she was trained to say, and most likely said often, “Our computers randomly assigned the lines.” Shaking in frustration I said, “What’s random about what you’re witnessing behind me?” She handed me my ticket and gestured to me to move on. 

I think about that experience often. In my mind, I see the boys standing on the left side of the rope with their heads hanging low and eyes facing the floor, while the boys standing on the right side of the rope quickly recognizing and verbalizing the bias they were witnessing before their eyes, but of course not fully understanding the gravity of what their peers were going through.  

The situation opened up a great conversation between the boys while the moms listened in. I, however, felt as the adult representing all of the boys, more should have been done. They deserved better. I should have used the power I had to vocalize the injustice that required more explanation.  

Whether or not the assertion was accurate and the process was random,  I will never know. Did the person issuing the tickets have a conscious or unconscious bias that was reflected in a few of us receiving the PreCheck status based on race?  If the process truly was randomly assigned by the system, the airline had a problem with bias in their algorithms.  

I can’t change the way I reacted that day, but I can commit to doing better next time. This experience was a reminder that biases exist and biases have the potential to have a very negative impact on individuals. 

Unconscious Biases

Almost every day in the news, there is at least one story about racism, sexism, or ageism. For many of us, we may think, “That’s not me.” The reality is that even amongst the most well-intended and open-minded people, unconscious biases exist. Most of us are unaware of our own biases and how they impact our decision making. 

Cognitive biases, or errors in thinking processes, result from our brains naturally wanting to take a shortcut in order to reason or make a judgment.  Our brains are wired to do this. Biases drive what we perceive, how we think, and what actions we take. 

Over the last few months, we’ve been talking a lot about mindset and the importance of resetting our mindset to flourish after 50. Our mindsets influence our biases (and vice versa), so it’s important to pay attention, recognize our personal biases, and do everything we can to reframe them for our personal well-being and the well-being of others. 

Common Biases to Be Aware Of

Although this isn’t a comprehensive list, here are some common biases to be aware of.  

Self Serving Bias — attributing positive outcomes to skill and negative outcomes to luck

Implicit Bias — having innate preferences  for people who look like us and suspicion for people who don’t 

Confirmation Bias — seeking information and data that confirms pre-existing ideas and ignore data that contradict what we initially believed 

Herd Mentality Bias —  copying and following what others are doing (influenced by our emotions versus by an independent analysis of the facts) 

Overconfidence Bias — having a false sense of skills, talents, knowledge, or ability greater than it is  

Optimism or Pessimism Bias — overestimating the likelihood of positive or negative outcomes based on emotion. 

Declining Bias — favoring the past (resisting change) over and above how things are going today 

False Consensus Effect — overestimating how much other people agree with our own beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, and values 

Recognize and Challenge Personal Biases

There are ways to begin recognizing your own biases. 

Start here.

1. Increase awareness. Start by noticing your decisions, reactions, judgments, and responses throughout the day. 

2. Ask yourself the following questions:

   • Why am I making this decision, having a reaction, or responding this way? 

   • Is my decision, reaction, judgment, or response based on fact or emotion? 

   • Is this one of my biases? 

   • Who and what is making me uncomfortable? Why?

   • What is my role in my actions? 

3. Reflect back on the different cognitive biases. Are you making a decision, reacting, judging, or responding to the situation in a biased way? If you’re uncertain, ask a trusted friend or family member. 

4. Practice responding differently based on your new awareness and knowledge. 

5. Do things to shift your perception of the world and other people. Follow people who think differently than you.  Explore new and diverse experiences to help see past what may be blind spots in your beliefs.

By uncovering your unconscious biases you can reshape your perspectives, decisions, and behaviors. Adopting a learning mindset toward yourself and your personal biases is a start to making more conscious decisions, altering your thought patterns, and resetting your mindset for flourishing after 50. 

Together we RUMBLE.