Overcoming Resistance to Achieve Your Vision: A Midlife Women’s Guide

“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.”

- Rosabeth Moss Kanter.

You have a vision for yourself but can’t seem to execute it daily. Why? Resistance may be getting in your way. 

So often, Karyn and I talk about the theoretical applications of making and sustaining a change you’re after in your life. 

Today, we want to chat about a simple technique we’re practicing that works. 

It all started when I read the following quote: 

“Let your resistance be, and it will let you be.” 

 From Baron Baptiste in his book Perfectly Imperfect: The Art and Soul of Yoga Practice.

The concept of this quote was discussed in reference to moving through yoga poses, and he explained that resistance—intentional or subconscious—will dissolve in the face of full acceptance. 

What is Resistance?

Resistance to goal attainment refers to obstacles, challenges, or barriers hindering progress toward achieving a specific objective or living your vision. 

Identifying Resistance

You can identify what you resist by focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors regarding your goals. Here are some ways to recognize resistance:

• Procrastination: Putting off tasks or actions necessary to achieve your goals.

• Negative Self-Talk: Engaging in negative self-talk, doubting your abilities, or feeling unworthy of success.

• Fear of Failure or Success: This is the reluctance to take risks or step out of your comfort zone, even if it means progressing toward your goals. 

• Perfectionism: Setting excessively high standards may prevent you from moving forward because you fear not meeting those standards. 

• Lack of Clarity: Being unsure or indecisive about your goals or how to achieve them. 

• Self-sabotage: Engaging in behaviors that undermine your progress, such as procrastinating, avoiding challenges, or seeking distractions, is self-sabotage. 

• Physical Symptoms: Manifesting as tension, fatigue, or digestive issues, especially when thinking about or working toward your goals.

Overcoming Resistance

By being mindful of these signs, you can identify and address resistance early by revisiting your goals, seeking support, or adjusting your approach. Resistance can change depending on the situation and circumstances, and how it manifests is sometimes dynamic. Acceptance is the secret to creating a new path or moving through resistance toward transformation. Acceptance often starts with awareness, which is more observational than judgmental. 

Examples of Overcoming Resistance

Fighting Cravings: 

Recognize and let go of food cravings by acknowledging them and then focusing on something else. For example, you could identify your craving by saying out loud, “I am craving something sweet.” Next, let it go. Think about something else. Grab a good book. Go for a walk. 

I’ve been practicing this for a few weeks and have discovered that resisting cravings keeps them alive in my mind, eventually leading me to eat or drink what I crave mindlessly. Instead, I have been practicing recognizing the craving and letting it be. My mind realizes the craving, then thinks about something else, and eventually, the craving disappears. 

Quitting Exercise: 

Too often, when trying to walk a little faster, lift heavier, or stretch, you feel discomfort or resistance. It feels better to stop; we get it. But positive change comes by overcoming this resistance (we’re not talking pain here).

I started practicing this in yoga. After years of avoiding stretching and not making time for yoga, my hamstrings got tight, so tight that touching my toes was impossible. As you can imagine, the postures were initially tricky and uncomfortable when getting back into yoga. 

Over the last few weeks, I’ve practiced recognizing and letting the resistance be. I’ve made a conscious effort not to quit a challenging posture or skip it altogether, but instead, observe and acknowledge the discomfort and then let it be. It’s incredible how much better I feel, and my flexibility is improving.

Move through discomfort or resistance by acknowledging it and continuing your exercise routine. Monitor how your observation of the discomfort may shift as you continue. 

Traveling Alone: 

Many women seek new adventures in midlife, and sometimes, the type of activities they desire don’t align with their friends or family members’ desires.

Fear is often the resistance holding you back from traveling your path alone. 

If you find yourself in this situation or any situation where fear may be holding you back, recognize that fear and let it be. Remember, fear is the discomfort of change. Living the life of your dreams requires change. And change requires moving through this resistance. 

Conquer fear by recognizing it and taking a step to travel alone or with a group of like-minded women. Research groups of women traveling to exotic locations you dream about, and sign up to travel with a group. 

Summary

Over the next week, practice recognizing your resistance. How do you respond? Do you quit? Do you back away or slow down? Recognize the resistance, observe it non-judgmentally, and then let it be before you make your final decision. More often than not, when you do this, you can move past the resistance and feel better as you accomplish what you envision for yourself. 

You’ll never live your vision if you don’t conquer the resistance to reaching your dreams. 

Do you need additional weekly support to ensure you are living in alignment with your midlife vision? If yes, check out these vision tools.

Mindset Transformation: How to Break Free from Limiting Beliefs and Achieve Your Goals

New mindset, new results. Transform your mindset today!

Are you caught up in thoughts like “I should do this,” or “I wish I could/would, but…” or “I am too old for that”? 

Yeah, we’ve been there too.

Lately, I (Rebecca) noticed that my flexibility and balance were “challenged,” to say the least. My hamstrings were as tight as ever, and bending forward had become more challenging. I was also really wobbly standing on one leg. 

In my mind, I kept telling myself I should get back to yoga. Eventually, I started voicing these thoughts to a friend who invited me to join her at a yoga class. For months, I kept making excuses like “I should do that, but I am too busy this week,” or “I can’t because of x, y, and z.” Sound familiar?

Well, my friend finally called me out on it! She said, “You talk about the importance of mindset as we age, but you’re just making excuses instead of taking action.”

She was right. Not only was my mindset holding me back, but I was also burdened by limiting beliefs such as, “I am not flexible enough right now,” “I should practice more before joining a class,” or the worst one, “I’ll be the oldest one in the room.” 

I stepped back and revisited my vision of how I want to live as I age. My actions were entirely out of sync with that vision. In fact, they were sabotaging my desire to feel and move well in my 70s, 80s, and beyond.

When our actions don’t align with our vision, we start feeling an inner restlessness or rumbling. In my case, it started in my head, and then I started vocalizing it. Unfortunately, I wasn’t listening to myself. And, because I hadn’t acknowledged and confronted those limiting beliefs, I was stuck in a cycle of inaction. 

How would I improve my flexibility and balance if I wasn’t taking action? 

Can you relate? We all want to change something about ourselves — eat better, get stronger, sleep more, reduce our stress — but often, we struggle to get started, let alone maintain those changes. 

So, how do you shift your mindset for lasting change?

Here are some steps to help you get started:

1. Listen for those inner rumblings. What is your inner voice saying? Take some time to be quiet with yourself. Try meditation, walk in nature, or grab a notebook to journal. 

2. Reflect on any “I should” or “I wish I could” statements you catch yourself making without taking action. Write them down. 

3. Ask a trusted friend or family member to help you identify these rumblings. Maybe, like me, you already have a friend who is good at calling you out! Listen to their observations.

4. Now, think about any limiting beliefs connected to these rumblings that may be holding you back. These often come as “not enough” statements or comparisons to your younger self or others. Write those down, too.  

5. Dive deeper into these limiting beliefs. Challenge them. For example, if you think I’ll be the oldest in the room,” ask yourself, “How do I know this? Is this thought based on reality? Why does my age matter?” 

6. Finally, jot down action steps you can take to address your inner rumblings. 

In my case, I signed up for a class at a new and nearby yoga studio. To address my limiting beliefs, I started slowly with a gentle class I knew I could handle. Once I got comfortable, I signed up for more challenging classes. And, you know what? I wasn’t the oldest or least flexible in the room. Everyone was there to work on their goals, regardless of where they started. No judgment, no critiques. I realized my limiting beliefs were mental barriers I created and were not based on reality.

How many opportunities do we miss because of self-imposed beliefs?

What was I missing out on? An incredible community of women of all ages who care about their minds and bodies through yoga. I was also not reaching my desired goals of improved flexibility and balance. I knew I had to take action, and I’m glad I did. 

Where are you stuck? 

Try the above activities to uncover how your mindset may hold you back. Don’t wait. 

I can’t wait to go to my next yoga class. I started feeling better and reaping benefits right away. Looking back, I realize what I would’ve missed out on if I stayed stuck any longer. 

Don’t miss out on the benefits of aging well. 

We’re here to help! 

Explore Rumblings resources to set a vision and break free from limiting beliefs:

The Rumblings Notebook is a beautiful tool to help you reflect and record your thoughts. 

The 90-Day Vision Journal will guide you through setting your vision, tackling limiting beliefs, and taking steps to make your dreams a reality. Live the life you’ve always wanted!