Overcoming Resistance to Achieve Your Vision: A Midlife Women’s Guide

“A vision is not just a picture of what could be; it is an appeal to our better selves, a call to become something more.”

- Rosabeth Moss Kanter.

You have a vision for yourself but can’t seem to execute it daily. Why? Resistance may be getting in your way. 

So often, Karyn and I talk about the theoretical applications of making and sustaining a change you’re after in your life. 

Today, we want to chat about a simple technique we’re practicing that works. 

It all started when I read the following quote: 

“Let your resistance be, and it will let you be.” 

 From Baron Baptiste in his book Perfectly Imperfect: The Art and Soul of Yoga Practice.

The concept of this quote was discussed in reference to moving through yoga poses, and he explained that resistance—intentional or subconscious—will dissolve in the face of full acceptance. 

What is Resistance?

Resistance to goal attainment refers to obstacles, challenges, or barriers hindering progress toward achieving a specific objective or living your vision. 

Identifying Resistance

You can identify what you resist by focusing on your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors regarding your goals. Here are some ways to recognize resistance:

• Procrastination: Putting off tasks or actions necessary to achieve your goals.

• Negative Self-Talk: Engaging in negative self-talk, doubting your abilities, or feeling unworthy of success.

• Fear of Failure or Success: This is the reluctance to take risks or step out of your comfort zone, even if it means progressing toward your goals. 

• Perfectionism: Setting excessively high standards may prevent you from moving forward because you fear not meeting those standards. 

• Lack of Clarity: Being unsure or indecisive about your goals or how to achieve them. 

• Self-sabotage: Engaging in behaviors that undermine your progress, such as procrastinating, avoiding challenges, or seeking distractions, is self-sabotage. 

• Physical Symptoms: Manifesting as tension, fatigue, or digestive issues, especially when thinking about or working toward your goals.

Overcoming Resistance

By being mindful of these signs, you can identify and address resistance early by revisiting your goals, seeking support, or adjusting your approach. Resistance can change depending on the situation and circumstances, and how it manifests is sometimes dynamic. Acceptance is the secret to creating a new path or moving through resistance toward transformation. Acceptance often starts with awareness, which is more observational than judgmental. 

Examples of Overcoming Resistance

Fighting Cravings: 

Recognize and let go of food cravings by acknowledging them and then focusing on something else. For example, you could identify your craving by saying out loud, “I am craving something sweet.” Next, let it go. Think about something else. Grab a good book. Go for a walk. 

I’ve been practicing this for a few weeks and have discovered that resisting cravings keeps them alive in my mind, eventually leading me to eat or drink what I crave mindlessly. Instead, I have been practicing recognizing the craving and letting it be. My mind realizes the craving, then thinks about something else, and eventually, the craving disappears. 

Quitting Exercise: 

Too often, when trying to walk a little faster, lift heavier, or stretch, you feel discomfort or resistance. It feels better to stop; we get it. But positive change comes by overcoming this resistance (we’re not talking pain here).

I started practicing this in yoga. After years of avoiding stretching and not making time for yoga, my hamstrings got tight, so tight that touching my toes was impossible. As you can imagine, the postures were initially tricky and uncomfortable when getting back into yoga. 

Over the last few weeks, I’ve practiced recognizing and letting the resistance be. I’ve made a conscious effort not to quit a challenging posture or skip it altogether, but instead, observe and acknowledge the discomfort and then let it be. It’s incredible how much better I feel, and my flexibility is improving.

Move through discomfort or resistance by acknowledging it and continuing your exercise routine. Monitor how your observation of the discomfort may shift as you continue. 

Traveling Alone: 

Many women seek new adventures in midlife, and sometimes, the type of activities they desire don’t align with their friends or family members’ desires.

Fear is often the resistance holding you back from traveling your path alone. 

If you find yourself in this situation or any situation where fear may be holding you back, recognize that fear and let it be. Remember, fear is the discomfort of change. Living the life of your dreams requires change. And change requires moving through this resistance. 

Conquer fear by recognizing it and taking a step to travel alone or with a group of like-minded women. Research groups of women traveling to exotic locations you dream about, and sign up to travel with a group. 

Summary

Over the next week, practice recognizing your resistance. How do you respond? Do you quit? Do you back away or slow down? Recognize the resistance, observe it non-judgmentally, and then let it be before you make your final decision. More often than not, when you do this, you can move past the resistance and feel better as you accomplish what you envision for yourself. 

You’ll never live your vision if you don’t conquer the resistance to reaching your dreams. 

Do you need additional weekly support to ensure you are living in alignment with your midlife vision? If yes, check out these vision tools.