Recognizing Midlife Challenges: Ladies, you’re not alone!

Fashion After 50, A Fashion Week MN Event. Photo credit: G. Marie Images

“Right after your breakdown is your breakthrough.” – Trent Shelton 

Do any of the following midlife challenges sound familiar? Weight changes, including changes in your physical body shape, loss of strength and balance, or changes in your metabolism. 

We’ve been surveying women since 2021; those were the most common challenges they shared experience in midlife. 

Women also told us about feeling achy, having pain, and experiencing a lack of stamina or fatigue. All of which interfered with achieving their exercise and fitness goals. Eating healthfully and getting adequate sleep were also on the list. 

They also shared difficulties staying connected and engaged with friends (or the loss of friends) and family due to life transitions. The lack of connection was often described as feelings of loneliness. 

Women also felt torn between managing grown children, aging parents, and not having enough personal time to care for themselves.

Financial stress and feeling prepared for retirement were also reported as challenges. 

The list challenge list continued, although not as many women reported the following:

• Feeling stressed

• Getting healthcare professionals to listen

• Being self-compassionate

• Enjoying life without guilt

• Feeling invisible

• Experiencing ageism at work

• Having anxiety

• Dressing for age

• Increasing disease risks

• Finding purpose

How do you feel when you hear the challenges and struggles of other midlife women? Do they resonate with you? 

Sharing this list is not to overwhelm you with midlife challenges you may or may not be experiencing but to help you see YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Midlife is a time of transition, and with transition and changes come challenges. Our bodies are changing. Our kids are leaving home. Our parents are aging. Our friendship groups are changing and evolving. We may be reassessing what we want during this phase of our careers. Many women ask themselves, ”What is my purpose, and what should my life look like for the next decades?” 

Experiencing these challenges that come with midlife are common than most women believe them to be. And the difficulties faced during this time are natural too. It’s time to normalize, talk, and share the realities of midlife and lean on each other as we learn to position ourselves to live vibrantly. We can and should flourish through our 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond! 

The good news is that we can overcome the new challenges of midlife! With the right tips, tools, and techniques, you can tackle these challenges and live your best life! 

Here’s what you can do to overcome your midlife challenges:

1. Write down the challenges you face in midlife. Be very specific. It is not an exercise about wallowing in our challenges but recognizing them to address them. 

2. Keep your list visible. Add to the list throughout the week. 

3. Sign-up to receive our bi-weekly email newsletter. In each email, we provide tips, tools, and techniques for overcoming challenges and creating lasting change in your life. 

4. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn, where we provide additional tips and talk about living vibrantly together.

5. Review your list frequently. Develop a plan to tackle one or two of the most pressing challenges you are experiencing.  

6. Take small steps every day to address your challenges. 

Most importantly, you’re not alone. We’re on this journey together, and at Rumblings, we believe women can and should flourish after 50!

How to Use Your Brain to Age Well and Stay Young

We all have the capacity to be fluid or fixed in our mindset. The growth path is to be adaptable to certain situations - to allow ourselves to be moved and changed due to our environment, experiences, and creative process. A fluid mindset creates new brain pathways leading to success, improves creativity, and helps growth, which will enable us to deal with the uncertainty ahead.

This past year has been a rollercoaster, full of highs and lows co-existing in a new definition of our human experience none of us were expecting. It’s lasted longer than most of us ever imagined.  

None of us has a crystal ball to know what the future holds, but it seems more unclear now than ever. Not knowing what’s coming next, nor how to plan for it and predict even the near future in any reasonable way, can be frightening and frustrating at the same time. 

It may feel as if time is standing still, but change is happening around us. In some aspects, change is accelerating. Without realizing it, this past year, we’ve also been gaining the skills and tools we need to reframe our plans for the future and redefine what that will look like, no matter how uncertain that future may be. 

In our last blog post, we shared how to become aware of unconscious cognitive biases that impact what we perceive, how we think, and what actions we take. 

As we begin to understand our unconscious biases and start reshaping our perspectives, decisions, and behaviors, our mindset begins to shift. Becoming aware of our preferences and shifting our mindset allows growth to occur, which will enable us to deal with the uncertainty ahead. We will have the fortitude to persevere in the face of the fear that comes with the unknown.

Below are just a few of the mindset reset types emerging from a growing body of research into the social science and neuroscience of how our brains work. Becoming familiar with them can help change our thinking and identify behaviors we’d like to modify.

Abundance vs. Scarcity - An abundance mindset focuses on the possibilities of what could be, resulting in feeling hopeful, grateful, and fulfilled. It begins with believing that we are enough. With that sense of being enough, we can embrace our worthiness, create boundaries, and be more fully engaged. It opens us up to be willing to be more present, allowing us to show up more fully and authentically. It requires vulnerability. 

A scarcity mindset is a notion that there is never enough, or worse, that we are not enough. This scarcity mindset can ultimately lead to internalizing our worthiness compared to others. Brene’ Brown describes scarcity as being the opposite of enough. Before we even get out of bed in the morning, our self-talk focuses on assessing and comparing ourselves to others - “I didn’t get enough sleep.” “I’m not _____ enough.” “Remember when?”. 

We all struggle with being open and vulnerable and wrestle with the self-doubt that comes from wanting to shield ourselves and fall back into a scarcity mindset. It takes awareness and continual practice to cultivate an abundance mindset. 

Growth vs. Fixed - The belief that mental abilities decline during aging is evolving. It turns out, peak mental age is later than believed, especially if we view our prime time years as an opportunity to reinvent and develop new interests. Creative capacity exponentially increases by pushing boundaries and learning new things by creating new neural pathways and causing our brains to change, no matter our age. Our brains also have excellent muscle memory from past experiences and knowledge that can help us master new challenges more quickly. When we continue to experiment, learn, and experience new things, our creativity compounds, especially in our later years. 

The challenge is the brain tries to be as efficient as possible and has a natural tendency to take the path of least resistance in our thinking processes. It has a preference for sticking with what is most comfortable. When we allow ourselves to give in to those tendencies to give up easily, avoid risks, and stop trying during the challenging parts of learning new skills, is where we succumb to a fixed mindset — we’re too old to change, or it’s not worth trying because it won’t matter. 

Infinite vs. Finite - A limitless mindset calls for continual growth and improvement. There is no end. The fulfillment comes from the journey and challenging yourself to become better. An infinite mindset applies to learning, leading, being healthy, and those things where it’s vital to strive constantly to stay in the game or participate in the journey. It’s about advancing something bigger than ourselves - we will never get there, but even so, we continue striving forward. We can have a finite goal to know we are making progress - such as a weight-loss or fitness goal, but striving for good health and well-being is an infinite mindset. We don’t reach an end and stop; health is a journey.

When we get caught up in a limiting or finite mindset, we can get stuck in repeating negative self-talk or thinking through the worst scenarios and outcomes. But those ‘what if’ statements that we play in our minds can go both ways. More recent science suggests that our brains are not only malleable and can change but have the ability to develop new pathways. 

Accepting change can be challenging, mainly because it requires action and growth. Resisting change almost always comes out of a transition from something happy and pleasant, or at least comfortable. Change may be uncomfortable and unpredictable. Given that change is inevitable, it is time to embrace change, see it as an opportunity for growth, and understand that the process is essential for brain health.

There are steps to can take to reframe how we experience change. These actions may help our head and heart surrender to embrace the natural discomfort that results:

1. Remember the reality that change is constant and inevitable. We go through change on average every 12-18 months. It’s a natural process.

2. Run through future scenarios and work them out in our head, using the negative ‘what ifs’ as an opportunity to make mistakes in your head so we can avoid them in real life. Then pivot and also play out ‘what if’ scenarios that may result in a positive outcome. 

3. Reflect on the benefit of age and experiences. Think about times you’ve embraced change and how you grew as a result. Remember, over time, we tend to gloss over the more painful struggles and hurt and remember the good memories and the growth we gained from change. You have survived change 100 percent of the time. 

By reflecting on our past experiences, it is almost always the more challenging times and events that lead to more meaningful progress in life. The past year’s challenges can be a tremendous opportunity to transition and have the potential to bring a new way of being in this world if we’re open to it. 

At Rumblings, we believe our prime years and our best accomplishments are still ahead of us. We also believe that to achieve our goals and make our dreams a reality, abundance, growth, and infinite mindsets are critical. 

Yes, change is accelerating, but perhaps one of the learnings from this pandemic is that it gave us the tools that we desperately needed -  time for stillness and going inside ourselves so that we can have a fresh look at the world around us. The deeper insights we gain, combined with our wisdom, allow us to more carefully curate the change and the dreams we have for our lives. 

The fortitude to persevere is the cousin to confidence - it is what comes from creating new brain pathways that lead to consistent success at achieving goals. We have the wisdom of our life experiences from which to pull. There is power in that knowledge gained from our experiences, especially when we realize we’re not yet fully formed. We can only open ourselves to this potential if we consistently choose the more open mindsets and build confidence in our capacity for change. 

We will all have doubts. It’s a constant reframing practice, pulling ourselves away from the negative ‘what ifs,’ self-talk, catching ourselves sooner, and gaining strength in our abilities. That is part of creating new pathways in our brains and developing new patterns of thinking and behaviors. 

Brain malleability is learning from doing and developing new muscle memory. You can pull from that to form mastery gained from your previous muscle memory and experiences. Building from previous experiences to create even more pathways is the key to a long, fulfilling, and prosperous life quality in your later years. 

Do the work. You’re growing and learning. More than ever, now is your time to shine and share your unique gifts. 

Together we Rumble!

Karyn and Rebecca