Midlife Women: The Caretakers, the Givers, and the Keepers of the Universe

I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.  ~ Maya Angelou

There’s something undeniably powerful about midlife women. We often hold things together, whether it’s family, community, or the spirit of those around us. We take care of those we love, give our time and energy freely, and quietly carry the world's weight on our shoulders. But in the midst of this, there’s a beautiful, untapped opportunity: a chance for us to step into a new vision of what life can be—one that brings us growth, reflection, and a renewed sense of purpose.

This chapter isn’t just about what we do for others; it’s also about what we’re ready to do for ourselves.

Shaping a New Vision for Ourselves—and for the World

As midlife women, we’re in a unique position. With experience, wisdom, and a clear understanding of what matters most, we have the power to help shape the world around us. But shaping a better world isn’t only about grand gestures. It can be as simple as taking small, intentional steps that reflect our values and the wisdom we’ve gathered. It’s also about recognizing that we are influencing the world each time we create something meaningful—whether it’s a community, a family tradition, or a personal project.

But in order to give our best, we need to nurture ourselves. This time of life offers us the chance to rediscover who we are, what brings us joy, and where we want to go. In doing so, we find ourselves renewed and capable of being the grounded, unstoppable force that others look to for strength and inspiration.

Tips for Rediscovering Your Essence and Embracing Your Goals

• Take Intentional Pauses
  Being unstoppable doesn’t mean pushing through exhaustion. It means knowing when to stop, breathe, and regroup. Give yourself permission to pause—without guilt. Use these pauses to listen to your inner voice, to reflect, and to re-align with your purpose.

• Reflect on Your Journey
  Look back on what you’ve done, both the achievements and the lessons learned. Reflecting on your journey helps you see the threads of strength, resilience, and courage woven through your life. This self-awareness is key to understanding your unique gifts and the impact you want to make.

• Reframe Your Goals
  Midlife offers the chance to reshape your goals. What do you want to create, pursue, or let go of? Redefine what success means to you now. Whether exploring a new career, diving into a creative project, or finding more time for loved ones, remember that this is your time to design a vision that excites and fulfills you.

• Be Gentle with Yourself
  Strength doesn’t mean you have to be a Superwoman. It means standing back up after being knocked down, assessing your needs, and patiently moving forward. Allow yourself the grace to feel, rest, and find joy in simple and grand moments.

• Connect and Collaborate
  Embrace your community of other strong, inspiring women. Sharing experiences, wisdom, and support creates a powerful network. These connections can provide insight, encouragement, and a reminder that we’re not alone in our journeys.

• Celebrate Your Evolution
  Embrace the journey of becoming. This stage is a time to honor the fullness of who you are—strong and tender, wise and still curious, giving yet ready to receive. Celebrate your evolution, newfound wisdom, and the opportunities waiting to be discovered.

Carrying On, Not as Superwoman, But as Unstoppable

Being unstoppable doesn’t mean doing it all or doing it perfectly. It means carrying on, even when tired or discouraged. It means knowing that the journey itself—filled with ups and downs—is what shapes us and makes us who we are. Being unstoppable is about resilience, but it’s also about honoring our humanity. It’s about standing back up when we’re deflated, finding a new way to move forward, and realizing that each step matters. 

So, let’s take this moment in midlife to honor our role as the caretakers, givers, and keepers of the universe. Let’s also seize the opportunity to shape a new vision for ourselves and the world—one that allows us to thrive, grow, and rediscover the beautiful strength within.

We are not here to be Superwoman; we’re here to carry on, rise, create, and live a life that is deeply our own.

Lasting Change Unleashed: Discover Essential Techniques to Overcome Challenges and Create a Supportive Environment

Are you ready to shake things up and live midlife to the fullest but feel stuck and confused about where to start? 

We understand that feeling. It can be frustrating, especially when you may not recognize your midlife body, feel your career needs an overhaul, desire to live more vibrantly than your current friend group or feel like you’re living day-to-day without a plan. 

But here’s the good news: you’re different from many other women because you’re ready to make lasting changes.                     

And guess what? It’s possible to change your behaviors and sustain those changes. 

Renewed Vision: Setting the Foundation for Behavior Change

Let’s talk about the key to long-term change—shifting your identity. In case you missed it, we’ve shared the importance of creating a renewed vision for yourself in midlife. Now, that might sound daunting, but before you jump into action—new diets, exercise programs, wellness routines, or sleep protocols—only to slip back into old patterns again, here’s the secret: you need to see yourself as the person who eats well, moves daily, makes healthier choices, and prioritizes sleep BEFORE you take any action. Establishing a renewed vision for yourself is crucial because that’s where many women fail to sustain their desired behaviors for the long term. 

Reduce Friction: Assess and Modify Your Surroundings

Next, you must alleviate the friction to change before you take action. This involves assessing your work, home, school, social, and community environments and asking yourself if they support the desired changes. 

The goal is to make healthier choices easier choices. Too often, we face obstacles like tempting television programs, social media distractions, processed foods that are readily available, and a lack of time that hinders us from making choices that make us feel better, boost our energy, and help us flourish. 

To assess your surroundings, focus on the following:

1. People you spend the most time with

2. The places you frequent, such as work, home, school, church, and community

3. Your systems, like your routines and time management

4. The policies at work or in other organizations you’re involved with

Now, take a moment to reflect: do these people, places, systems, and policies support your values and goals? Do they create friction or resistance when you try to change? For example, does your workspace encourage standing instead of sitting all day? Do your workplace policies allow walking meetings and working out during lunch? Are your friends cheering you on or scoffing at the changes you want to make? Do your routines and habits align with your renewed vision?

Our environment often doesn’t naturally support how we want to live as we age. To ensure success, we must address the potential friction and resistance before taking action toward our goals. 

Observing Successful Example: Prioritizing Health and Well-being

By observing our surroundings, we can get a glimpse of what’s prioritized. Take our recent trip to Vietnam, for instance. During our visit, we noticed that health and well-being were community priorities: 

1. Parks were equipped with adult exercise equipment.

2. People were doing tai chi and stretching in green space.

3. Fruit was served after every meal instead of dessert. 

4. Restaurants served fresh, local food in a family-style manner. 

We found it easier to make healthier choices while traveling in Vietnam than it can be when traveling in the United States.

Modifying Your Surroundings: Making Healthier Choices Easier

Now consider some questions to help you modify your surroundings and better support your goals: 

1. What are one or two things you change in your environment that will help make healthier choices more available and easier to access? For example, can you keep healthier food choices more accessible at home so you can grab them on the go? 

2. What adjustments can you make to your routines to align them with your goals? For example, can you keep sneakers in the car so that you can walk while waiting during pick-up times or in between errands?

3. Can you spend more time with people who support your desire to change rather than resist it? For example, instead of connecting with friends over drinks and a meal, can you meet them for a walk or a yoga class?

4. Can you advocate for changes in work, school, or church policies to make healthier choices easier for you and those around you? For example, can you advocate ending meetings a few minutes early to allow for time to take a walking break or grab a healthy snack?

Embracing Sustainable Behavior Change: The Journey to Midlife Transformation

Starting a new behavior is often easier than sustaining it over time. Why? Our surroundings create resistance that pulls us back into old habits. Before taking action toward your goals, start by assessing your environment.

It’s time to get off the roller coaster and finally live your midlife vision! Creating a supportive environment will make your goals easier to achieve and sustain! 

Looking for more ways to build skills to help you successfully change behaviors? Read our suggestions for building resiliency in midlife.

Take Steps to Reignite Yourself After 50

In March 2018, we planned a girls’ trip to New York City with another friend. We were working in executive positions in different cities at the time. It was going to be a long weekend filled with laughs, good food, and adventures. 

The trip was all that, but it was also a turning point for us upon reflection. Our long conversations over wine were consumed with talk about burnout, the challenges of managing people, abuse in the workplace, and whether we were living our best lives. We needed this time to decompress and deeply share our challenging experiences and process these with other like-minded women in the same life stage. 

We recognized our careers were at a tipping point. Was the goal to keep climbing the career ladder at the expense of our personal lives, social lives, and families? By the second glass of wine, the conversations dove more deeply into our dreams, desires, and how we wanted to live the next half of our lives. Each of us expressed a longing for something more than the current state. At the end of the weekend, we realized we all needed to make different types of changes to move in the direction of our dreams. The spark was lit in New York City. 

Fast forward to 2020. We now lived in the same city and met regularly to envision Rumblings. We knew we weren’t alone facing midlife career, personal, and family transitions. We heard from other women our age who were struggling with the same challenges. 

The common thread we were all experiencing was an internal RUMBLING that something needed to change to live our best lives through midlife and beyond. 

The change is different for everyone. For some, it’s a career change, to start a business, or leap past fear and take on a new challenging position. For others, it’s traveling more, moving to a new city, finding new rewarding volunteer opportunities, or creating a life that aligns more closely with personal values.

Whatever your dreams are for reinvention, go for them. We’ve never looked back, and even with the ups and downs of starting a business, we know we’re on the right path—slower than we hoped, yet moving in the right direction. 

These six actions helped us leap past our fears to start creating the life we envisioned.

Embrace a learning mindset. We thought we needed to know everything about starting a business for too long before we leaped. After a year of talking about beginning, we realized we had to stop talking about it and do it. In July 2020, we launched our website and built a community through social media. The most important thing we needed was an open and learning mindset.

The reality is you’ll never be fully ready, know everything, or have the perfect plan. Be willing to leap and learn. Ask questions of others who have reinvented themselves. Learn from their experiences. Open up to learning from women younger and older than you. 

Leap past fear. Change is scary, but what’s more frightening is living a life not aligned with your values and dreams. It was challenging to start something new, put ourselves out there, not know whether midlife women would engage with us, and not feel perfectly ready when we did. And, the fear creeps in regularly when we try something new (like producing a fashion show!) or discuss something that feels vulnerable (showing our faces or sharing our personal stories).

But, the rewards have come on the other side of fear. So leap, friends, leap!

Forgive each other and ourselves. When you forge into something new, you’ll make mistakes. We certainly have —lots of them, to be honest. Early on, we made a pact to accept that we will make mistakes, laugh at them together, support each other through them, and move on quickly. This pact has worked for us and has helped us realize mistakes are our lessons, they’re inevitable, and they’re part of the process of living forward.

Be kind and forgive yourself and others as you move along your path.

Ask for support and be supportive. Reinvention takes support. We have called on friends and family to support our efforts to build Rumblings. In return, we make an effort to promote other midlife women reinventing themselves. These women have taught us so much as we’ve learned their whys for reinvention, seen their actions, and witnessed their successes.

Don’t be afraid to ask for support. Share your dreams and audacious goals. Ask other like-minded midlifers for help.

Be consistent. Consistency has been our biggest lesson and the action that continues to move us towards our goals. It sounds too easy, but in reality, it can be challenging. We need to remind ourselves frequently to break down tasks and take action every day. When we do, we see progress and change.

Change and reinvention are not easy. You have to stay focused on your why and take steps every day towards your dreams. It’s the daily steps that create progress. 

Practice self-care. To live your best life requires you to be at your best. Take care of yourself. Sleep. Eat well. Move. Meditate. Take time for yourself. For years, we put ourselves last as we built our careers, raised children, and cared for parents. We put off medical appointments, didn’t exercise, and reached for convenient food.

As we’ve built Rumblings, we’ve reprioritized ourselves alongside our ambitions. Our dreams matter. We matter. But, only we can take steps to take care of ourselves. No one can do it for us. We’ve realized that we feel better when we do this and do better.

Now is the time. Prioritize and take care of YOU. 

Reinvention is a continuous process. We’ve learned a lot and realize how far we’ve come as we reflect on that New York City weekend. We’re making progress on living the life of our dreams, and it’s exciting. We still have things we’re working on—confidence, focus, and vulnerability. We acknowledge the challenges ahead of us and reflect on these same actions as we discuss how to move past them.

It’s not too late to pursue your dreams and desires. 

Let’s reignite, reinvent, and RUMBLE through midlife together. 

Read more about how turning 50 inspired Rumblings and advice from other midlife women on how they reinvented themselves. 

10 Ways to Empower Women Right Now

Saeteesh from @saeteeshunleashed and Jennifer Cermak from @naninalubeachwear shared personal advice and stories to empower other women at our Fashion After 50 Fashion Week MN Event. Photo credit: G. Marie Images

Have you ever asked yourself, “What is one small thing I can do to start a revolution?” Jane Finette did just that during the pandemic. She felt down and overwhelmed, so she started connecting with other strong women in her network to find out how they were coping and what they were doing. Although the media headlines were dismal, she discovered empowered women doing fantastic work to support the advancement of women and girls, and their efforts did not stop during these stressful and unprecedented times. 

Talking to other women, she also found their impact did not start with a huge business plan. It began with simple, quiet, and repeatable things that they did in sisterhood. She felt these empowering stories needed to be told, so Jane summarized the lessons into her new book, Unlocked: How Empowered Women Empower Women. 

Our Rumblings community had an opportunity to have a virtual conversation with Jane to discuss our ability to influence societal change, especially when systemic and policy changes necessary to address fundamental issues of gender, age, and racial biases seem so impossible. 

She emphasized that change starts by taking one action with another person in our world. The opportunity is great, and we need to understand that we lift up all women when we help one woman. When we collectively do that as a regular practice, enough women will be standing in their full power, and systems and policy changes will follow. 

Our conversation was so rich and empowering that we wanted to share the key takeaways for women who missed it.  

How do you begin? 

Start by seeing yourself as a female activist. If you think of your actions as feminist actions, you will realize the impact goes beyond helping one dear friend or work colleague, and instead, you will recognize your simple steps are for the sake of all women. When you embrace female activism as a part of your personality and identity, you will seek ways every day to fulfill your way of being that type of person in the world.  

We’ve all had our own lived experiences as we’ve climbed the corporate ladder, raised children, taken care of aging parents, and made our way in the world. We know it hasn’t been easy, and we’re not here to claim that carving out even more time to help more women is easy either. 

However, we hope we all agree that we want a smoother path for the women—our daughters, nieces, neighbors, colleagues, etc.— coming behind us. This starts with being vulnerable, sharing your experiences—good and not so good—and asking for help when needed. 

You’re the most important person in your life. The first act of being a feminist is committing to take care of yourself first. When you make yourself a priority, you have the capacity to help other women. 

10 Keys to Unlock the Potential of All Women

1. Say yes to help another woman. Make an introduction. Have a call. Give advice when asked. 

2. Tell her she is ready! Be her cheerleader. Sometimes she just needs a gentle reminder to own her truth and claim her destiny.

3. Stand behind her. Back her up. Support her through struggles. Let her know you’re there for her. 

4. Help her help herself. Help her see everything available for her to clearly make her own choice or decision. 

5. Talk about money. Women earn less, invest less, and two-thirds of women have the potential to retire into poverty. You must get comfortable talking about money, encouraging women to ask for what they’re worth, and sharing how to invest money. 

6. Stand up for her. Support fairness, equity, and truth, especially when those principles are violated.

7. Be the example. Share your stories and personal experiences. Role model helping yourself and other women. Having empowered women as examples empowers other women. 

8. Give her confidence. Help her see her strengths, showcase her previous successes, and move past her fear. 

9. Send the elevator down. Make the journey easier for her by giving her a hand, hiring her, promoting her, or showcasing her talents.

10. Be a sister. Show up as a sister. Offer a kind word. Listen. Smile. Share a hug. 

“To empower another woman is a selfless act with untold possibilities.”

- Jane Finette

Now is the time. Get started today!

It’s all about this moment. You are ready. All that you have done before now has prepared you for this moment. You know how to put the keys to work to unlock the potential of women around you. Just begin. Start today.

Jane summed up our conversation brilliantly. “We all have everything inside us to live our fullest, and most exciting, and wild lives. We have all the wisdom from the women who came before us, and we have an incredible community of women supports. Ask for help from each other and give, receive, and keep showing up to moments like this because it’s a village; we need a village.”

If this summary has inspired you, we encourage you to buy and gift the book to all the women in your life. The proceeds from your purchases go to The Coaching Fellowship, a nonprofit organization dedicated to developing young women leaders working in the social impact space, founded by Jane and described as her life’s work. 

A foundational principle, or Rock, at Rumblings is to advocate for and inspire women around us. Read more about our Four Rocks to Flourish After 50

Best Ways to Support Friends and Family During a Crisis

During a crisis, you can show support in multiple ways to someone you care about. It’s not what you do, it’s that you step forward and reach out.

August 19, 2020, changed our family forever. My (Rebecca) husband had a massive stroke. I shared the details in a previous post, so I won’t go into the story again here, but as my four kids and I moved through the first anniversary, we reflected on what helped us feel supported during the last year. 

The reality is after 50, we’re at an age when sickness, health events, accidents, or death happen to people we care about and love. As I’ve gotten older, seeing people I care about in crisis has happened to too many people, too often. It has felt a bit overwhelming at times. 

Our family was lucky. My husband recovered well. And, we’ve felt tremendous amounts of love during a very challenging year. 

I have to admit before I went through this experience, I often wondered if I was saying or doing the “right” thing for someone going through a trying time. In hindsight, I often let this discomfort prevent me from doing enough to show I cared.  

Experience is our teacher. 

After reflection, I thought these ideas could be helpful if you’re wondering what to do when someone you care about needs similar support. 

Send a text or email without an expectation for a response. As I was sitting in the hospital for three weeks with my husband, I loved getting little notes of support from colleagues, friends, and family, just to say ‘I heard. I am thinking about you. Don’t feel obligated to respond.’ I was often happy to respond, but knowing there was no expectation to helped, a lot. 

Drop off a plant or flowers.  After eight to 10 hours at the hospital, I loved coming home to a house full of flowers and plants. It felt like a big hug after a long stressful day. Even a year later, I see the plants around our house and feel the support from our friends and family. 

Prepare a meal. Knowing my kids were well fed was a huge relief. The love radiated from the meals and food dropped at our home. It was especially helpful to have healthful foods that could be frozen and were easy to reheat. My neighbor organized a meal train for a month. At the time, I didn’t realize we’d need it that long, but we did, and we appreciated every meal. 

Gift a meal. Gift cards may feel impersonal, but I can’t express how thankful we were to receive them at this time. My son’s friend group dropped off a stack from various local restaurants that the kids frequented together. When I was stuck at the hospital longer than expected, these gifts allowed my kids to fend for themselves. My out-of-town relatives found a local meal delivery service, and when I had time to cook again (I love to cook), it was nice to jump online, place an order, and have all the ingredients delivered to our door. 

Ask first before sharing ‘your’ story. I think it’s easy to want to connect with what someone else is going through by sharing your story. It says you understand and have been through something similar. However, I realized quickly that when you’re in a crisis, you can’t appreciate the connection, and it feels like you’re diminishing what the person is going through. Instead, what helped my kids and me was hearing, ‘I went through something similar with X. If it would help to talk about it, I am happy to share my experience when the time is right for you.

Recognize the caregiver(s). It’s essential to think about the person going through the event, but it made a huge impact to have someone ask, “How are you?” I am fortunate to be involved in a caregivers’ support group. I recognize I am one of the lucky spouses. My husband is doing well. However, many caregivers are struggling. The life they knew does not exist. They’re feeling profoundly disconnected. They feel alone and unrecognized. Reach out. 

Stay connected. Health events can change people. As a result, relationships may change.  The ways you interacted with the person previously may need to evolve based on the health of your friend or family member. It’s often easier to avoid or pull away than adjust. Change is hard. Our family appreciates our friends who have stayed and included us in dinners, gatherings, golf outings, and walks through a tough year.

Offer to do a simple task. Everyday tasks that friends offered to do (or just did) like walking the dogs, hiring out yard work, making a Target run, grocery shopping, or covering mandatory school volunteer requirements were very helpful. We didn’t always say yes and take advantage of the offer, but we felt supported by the thought during a stressful time. 

Don’t hesitate, just ask. I know people are often uncomfortable approaching someone going through a crisis. My advice is to reach out. I appreciated anyone and everyone talking to us and asking how we were doing. It felt more awkward when people turned away because they didn’t know what to say, didn’t feel comfortable approaching us, or thought we didn’t want to discuss the challenges we were facing. 

What feels supportive differs for all of us, but the point here is to do something. Whatever it is will be appreciated. 

You can make a difference to someone you care about. It’s not what you do, it’s that you step forward and reach out. 

Surround people with support during challenging times.

Together we Rumble in good times and bad!