Midlife Women: The Caretakers, the Givers, and the Keepers of the Universe

I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.  ~ Maya Angelou

There’s something undeniably powerful about midlife women. We often hold things together, whether it’s family, community, or the spirit of those around us. We take care of those we love, give our time and energy freely, and quietly carry the world's weight on our shoulders. But in the midst of this, there’s a beautiful, untapped opportunity: a chance for us to step into a new vision of what life can be—one that brings us growth, reflection, and a renewed sense of purpose.

This chapter isn’t just about what we do for others; it’s also about what we’re ready to do for ourselves.

Shaping a New Vision for Ourselves—and for the World

As midlife women, we’re in a unique position. With experience, wisdom, and a clear understanding of what matters most, we have the power to help shape the world around us. But shaping a better world isn’t only about grand gestures. It can be as simple as taking small, intentional steps that reflect our values and the wisdom we’ve gathered. It’s also about recognizing that we are influencing the world each time we create something meaningful—whether it’s a community, a family tradition, or a personal project.

But in order to give our best, we need to nurture ourselves. This time of life offers us the chance to rediscover who we are, what brings us joy, and where we want to go. In doing so, we find ourselves renewed and capable of being the grounded, unstoppable force that others look to for strength and inspiration.

Tips for Rediscovering Your Essence and Embracing Your Goals

• Take Intentional Pauses
  Being unstoppable doesn’t mean pushing through exhaustion. It means knowing when to stop, breathe, and regroup. Give yourself permission to pause—without guilt. Use these pauses to listen to your inner voice, to reflect, and to re-align with your purpose.

• Reflect on Your Journey
  Look back on what you’ve done, both the achievements and the lessons learned. Reflecting on your journey helps you see the threads of strength, resilience, and courage woven through your life. This self-awareness is key to understanding your unique gifts and the impact you want to make.

• Reframe Your Goals
  Midlife offers the chance to reshape your goals. What do you want to create, pursue, or let go of? Redefine what success means to you now. Whether exploring a new career, diving into a creative project, or finding more time for loved ones, remember that this is your time to design a vision that excites and fulfills you.

• Be Gentle with Yourself
  Strength doesn’t mean you have to be a Superwoman. It means standing back up after being knocked down, assessing your needs, and patiently moving forward. Allow yourself the grace to feel, rest, and find joy in simple and grand moments.

• Connect and Collaborate
  Embrace your community of other strong, inspiring women. Sharing experiences, wisdom, and support creates a powerful network. These connections can provide insight, encouragement, and a reminder that we’re not alone in our journeys.

• Celebrate Your Evolution
  Embrace the journey of becoming. This stage is a time to honor the fullness of who you are—strong and tender, wise and still curious, giving yet ready to receive. Celebrate your evolution, newfound wisdom, and the opportunities waiting to be discovered.

Carrying On, Not as Superwoman, But as Unstoppable

Being unstoppable doesn’t mean doing it all or doing it perfectly. It means carrying on, even when tired or discouraged. It means knowing that the journey itself—filled with ups and downs—is what shapes us and makes us who we are. Being unstoppable is about resilience, but it’s also about honoring our humanity. It’s about standing back up when we’re deflated, finding a new way to move forward, and realizing that each step matters. 

So, let’s take this moment in midlife to honor our role as the caretakers, givers, and keepers of the universe. Let’s also seize the opportunity to shape a new vision for ourselves and the world—one that allows us to thrive, grow, and rediscover the beautiful strength within.

We are not here to be Superwoman; we’re here to carry on, rise, create, and live a life that is deeply our own.

The Profound Dual Purpose of Travel: Lost and Found

Rumblings trip to Vietnam: Phot is Dong Xuan market in Hanoi

Traveling goes far beyond exploring new landscapes and experiencing different cultures; it’s a journey of self-discovery and transformation. In the words of George Santayana, travel is both a means to lose and find ourselves. Beyond the familiar narrative presented in newspapers and media, travel offers a unique perspective that sharpens our awareness, challenges our assumptions, and enriches our understanding of the world. 

Travel offers the opportunity, joy, and deep, heartfelt interactions that create a connection between people that isn’t bound by politics, culture, or language barriers. It deepens our understanding of the world around us by creating an awareness that our most profound humanity is linked to the humanity of others. It allows us to see the friendliness, hospitality, generosity, gentleness, caring, and compassion in others and ourselves. Travel creates a powerful understanding of our interconnectedness with one another. It enables us to see past differences intended to separate and alienate us and develops an understanding of belonging. We can acknowledge that we differ precisely because of our need for one another. 

The profound impact of travel can open our hearts and minds and help us understand its role in fostering empathy and cultural exchange. As travelers, we bridge the gap between our identity and the world’s diverse cultures, offering a fresh perspective in an increasingly interconnected world society. 

These are the reasons why we look forward to traveling with other women, to share these experiences, and deepen our connection to other women across the globe as well as create lasting friendships with each other. Especially during midlife, it’s an integral part of the journey of self-discovery that leaves an indelible mark on our lives when many women are searching for their vision, purpose, and identity for the re-igniting of this next critical phase of their lives. 

Travel serves a dual purpose: it allows us to lose and find ourselves. It opens our hearts and minds to the world beyond what our newspapers convey. We travel to discover and share the riches of different cultures, to become young fools again, and to embrace the moral holiday of taking risks. Travel compels us to work desperately for a moment, to confront hardships, and to sharpen the edge of life, as George Santayana suggested in "The Philosophy of Travel."

Travel not only shows us different realities but also reveals our complexities. It encourages us to reexamine our beliefs and certainties, to see the world with new eyes, and to challenge our assumptions. Even familiar things, like a fast-food restaurant or a movie theater in a foreign land, can be a source of novelty and revelation.

Travelers understand that the world is full of wonder and hardship, and they embrace both. They bear witness to the moral and political urgencies of the places they visit, ensuring that these locations are not reduced to abstract ideas or ideologies. Travel becomes a way to rescue the humanity of places from abstraction and to save them from being mere curiosities.

Moreover, travelers are like human bridges, transporting values, beliefs, and news to the places they visit. In some parts of the world, they serve as the only contact with the outside world, offering a glimpse into other cultures and societies. Travel is about fostering understanding and empathy, importing and exporting dreams with tenderness.

As the world becomes more interconnected, people are increasingly transnational and multicultural. Travelers find themselves at the intersection of different cultures, languages, and customs, and they adapt quickly to new environments. This adaptability allows them to see the world with a fresh perspective.

Travel is also a journey into one's imagination, a quest to uncover the unknown, and a way to be carried out of one's comfort zone. It challenges our notions of home and identity and gives us a unique opportunity to bring new eyes to the places we visit and learn about ourselves.

Ultimately, travel is a heightened state of awareness, a wakefulness that keeps our minds nimble prejudices at bay and fosters humor. Like love, the best trips are never truly over because they leave a lasting impact on our minds and hearts, forever transforming our perception of the world. 

You can read more about some of our travel experiences in our blogs about our trip to Vietnam and how to navigate multigenerational travel. To learn more about traveling with a group of women, join our list to get notified of upcoming trips.  We also keep a journal documenting our travel experiences, and you can find one we created here. 

How to Build Resiliency in Midlife

On Monday, February 13, at 7:31 pm, I (Rebecca) got the text no parent ever wants to receive. “MSU police report shots fired. An incident occurring on or near the East Lansing campus. Secure-in-place immediately. Run. Hide. Fight.” 

At that point, I wasn’t too concerned but worried enough that I texted my Michigan State University sophomore son to check-in. Fortunately, he was safe off campus. I called a few minutes later, and to my surprise, he had walked back to his dorm right into the chaos of the mass shooting situation. He made it safely to his room and, with his roommate, moved two dressers against the door and listened to the police dispatch radio as they watched hundreds of police descend on campus outside their window. And they prayed for a friend who had gone to work and was in the Memorial Union, one of the shooting scenes.

Our family was glued to the television for hours, feeling helpless over 600 miles away. Three students were tragically killed that evening, five were seriously injured, and more than 50,000 students, faculty, friends, and family members were impacted. Sadly, my son’s good friend in the Memorial Union was one of the victims killed.

Our family is not alone in suddenly experiencing the unexpected. Over the last year, I have been working with a University of Minnesota research team. We analyzed data from families participating in a seven-month obesity prevention intervention. The team was surprised by how many families experienced a significant life event during the program. The families described these life events as interfering with their ability to follow through on their healthy lifestyle goals. They were derailed and didn’t have the personal skills to get back on track quickly. In other words, many people don’t have the resiliency skills to help them reset after a setback, life event, or trauma. 

What is resiliency?

Not surprisingly, I have been contemplating the concept of resilience.

• What is it?

• How do we build it?

• How do we activate it during trauma or significant life events?

• How do we live with grit, tenacity, and mental strength and use our healthy lifestyles to support us during challenging times?

• How do we teach and model resiliency for others, like our children?

Last week, Michigan State University offered a virtual event for parents with Dr. James Henry, co-founder and project director for the Western Michigan University Children’s Trauma Assessment Center. He defined resiliency as the ability to overcome adversity and trauma and build the capacity to heal.

Whether you’re facing significant trauma or minor life events—things can get in the way of following through on healthy behaviors. As a result, you may feel like cocooning, escaping, or reaching for things that give your comfort (e.g., food and alcohol). These feelings are normal.

We all experience the unexpected—sometimes, we get thrown off track for a few weeks, and sometimes we get knocked down for longer (e.g., COVID). The ultimate goal is to develop and deploy resiliency skills to overcome uncertainty, helplessness, stress, and trauma. I am not a psychologist or a trauma expert. I recommend seeking help when you feel stuck and are experiencing physical symptoms.

However, I can share tips that helped me the last few weeks and tips that assisted other women Karyn and I have worked with during their midlife behavior change journeys.

How do you build resiliency skills?

• Start thinking about your healthy lifestyle—eating well, exercising, getting adequate sleep, and managing stress— as keys to helping you build resiliency when life is going smoothly. Suppose you believe your healthy lifestyle enables you to feel better and have more energy. In that case, you’re more likely to believe in your ability to engage in healthy behaviors during challenging times. You’re also more likely to view those behaviors as tools to help you versus seeing them as another thing to do when you don’t feel your best.

• Set up your environment to support you during good times and unexpected challenges. Stock your pantry with healthy foods. Fill your refrigerator with fruits and vegetables. Bookmark gentle movement videos to pull out when you need to relax and unwind. Set your bedroom up to be a sanctuary for sleep and comfort. Your surroundings can make it easier to maintain healthy practices during challenging times. 

• Recall past experiences. Think back to previous challenges in your life. How did you overcome those? What coping strategies did you use? Write down how you dealt with hardships in the past. Reflect on these past experiences when you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed.

• Remember, getting off track with your lifestyle goals is ok. Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to move through the challenges. Being resilient means getting back on track slowly, one day at a time when you feel ready. When you’ve prepared for the unexpected, it will be easier to get back on track.

• Move your body in healing ways. Your movement choices may look different—a walk versus a run, a stretch instead of heavy-strength training, or deep breathing or meditation instead of a strenuous workout. Do what feels right. Moving will help you feel better both physically and mentally.

• Reach for nourishing foods to support you as you move through your challenges. Doing this will give you the energy and focus on facing uncertainty.

• Seek connection. When you’re ready, talk about your feelings and what you’ve been through with others. Strength is in togetherness.

• Be hopeful. Challenges require moving through the unexpected and feeling what you’re experiencing. However, feeling confident you’ll be ok will help you adapt as needed.

• Model resiliency skills. Engage in healthy behaviors during difficult times as you’re able. Talk about modifications you made to your routine to support yourself. Share your actions and feelings with others around you. Share the what, why, and how you’re using your resiliency skills to help you through a difficult time. 

• See yourself as a resilient person. Anytime you associate a behavior as part of your identity (e.g., I am a voter versus I vote), you will be more likely to act that way when the time arises. 

We all face life events and unexpected challenges that impact our daily routines. The hope is that we can overcome the setbacks and realize our healthy lifestyle can support us through challenging times and help us handle hard situations with more energy and focus. These are skills that we can help others, like our children, build too, and during challenging times we can model resilient behaviors. These skills give us faith that we can walk through even the most challenging aspects of life. Living well requires resiliency, and as we get older, we may need to rely on these skills more often than we have in the past. 

Let’s Rumble with resilience!

Recognizing Midlife Challenges: Ladies, you’re not alone!

Fashion After 50, A Fashion Week MN Event. Photo credit: G. Marie Images

“Right after your breakdown is your breakthrough.” – Trent Shelton 

Do any of the following midlife challenges sound familiar? Weight changes, including changes in your physical body shape, loss of strength and balance, or changes in your metabolism. 

We’ve been surveying women since 2021; those were the most common challenges they shared experience in midlife. 

Women also told us about feeling achy, having pain, and experiencing a lack of stamina or fatigue. All of which interfered with achieving their exercise and fitness goals. Eating healthfully and getting adequate sleep were also on the list. 

They also shared difficulties staying connected and engaged with friends (or the loss of friends) and family due to life transitions. The lack of connection was often described as feelings of loneliness. 

Women also felt torn between managing grown children, aging parents, and not having enough personal time to care for themselves.

Financial stress and feeling prepared for retirement were also reported as challenges. 

The list challenge list continued, although not as many women reported the following:

• Feeling stressed

• Getting healthcare professionals to listen

• Being self-compassionate

• Enjoying life without guilt

• Feeling invisible

• Experiencing ageism at work

• Having anxiety

• Dressing for age

• Increasing disease risks

• Finding purpose

How do you feel when you hear the challenges and struggles of other midlife women? Do they resonate with you? 

Sharing this list is not to overwhelm you with midlife challenges you may or may not be experiencing but to help you see YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Midlife is a time of transition, and with transition and changes come challenges. Our bodies are changing. Our kids are leaving home. Our parents are aging. Our friendship groups are changing and evolving. We may be reassessing what we want during this phase of our careers. Many women ask themselves, ”What is my purpose, and what should my life look like for the next decades?” 

Experiencing these challenges that come with midlife are common than most women believe them to be. And the difficulties faced during this time are natural too. It’s time to normalize, talk, and share the realities of midlife and lean on each other as we learn to position ourselves to live vibrantly. We can and should flourish through our 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond! 

The good news is that we can overcome the new challenges of midlife! With the right tips, tools, and techniques, you can tackle these challenges and live your best life! 

Here’s what you can do to overcome your midlife challenges:

1. Write down the challenges you face in midlife. Be very specific. It is not an exercise about wallowing in our challenges but recognizing them to address them. 

2. Keep your list visible. Add to the list throughout the week. 

3. Sign-up to receive our bi-weekly email newsletter. In each email, we provide tips, tools, and techniques for overcoming challenges and creating lasting change in your life. 

4. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn, where we provide additional tips and talk about living vibrantly together.

5. Review your list frequently. Develop a plan to tackle one or two of the most pressing challenges you are experiencing.  

6. Take small steps every day to address your challenges. 

Most importantly, you’re not alone. We’re on this journey together, and at Rumblings, we believe women can and should flourish after 50!

Discover 5 New Techniques to Improve Your Mind-Body Connection to Live Well After 50

As we’ve aged, advertising and marketing messages told women we could have it all. Unfortunately, as a result, we felt we needed to do it all.

Instead of empowering women, our society normalized simultaneously working tirelessly, raising kids, taking care of parents, juggling family schedules, keeping up the home perfectly, and being superwoman 24/7. 

For many of us, reaching 50 was the moment we asked if there was more to life, if we needed time for ourselves, or wondered if we had a purpose beyond family and work. It's not that we don't love our children, careers, or our families. We have a rumbling that there might be more for us individually in the next half of life. 

However, as women have more power than ever, we have found ourselves powerless to manage some of the messy transitions that brought us to midlife.

Transitions are different for each of us. We can all relate to significant milestones at this stage in our lives - kids leaving home, aging parents, job transitions, or divorce. The reality is that messy midlife transitions are a part of all of our lives. 

You’re not alone. We can use practical tips, tools, and techniques to rethink our rhythm for living well after 50 to understand better how to decouple our experiences, patterns, and beliefs from our approach to handling life stressors and tumultuous times. 

A group of Rumblings women came together virtually with Shelly Melroe, MS, AS, LMFT, owner of Rhythm for Living Therapy & Counseling, to learn how to resync our mind-body connections. We discussed finding compassion for our unbreakable habits, negative self-talk, and limiting beliefs we bring into midlife that may be preventing a healthy mind-body connection and authentic journey into midlife. 

We all have patterns and habits for reacting and dealing with difficult or uncomfortable situations. We may not realize that those patterns and habits stem from our beliefs about ourselves that we deeply imprinted from our life experiences. Some of these experiences can date back to when we were infants and impact how we assess a situation or interpersonal exchange and how safe we feel as adults. 

Most often, these patterns come out as automatic physical responses when we encounter an uncomfortable situation. That body sensation could be a dry tight throat, heart palpitations, a voice that cracks or raises, cold hands, a need to fidget, or even flushing of the neck or face. These emotions or feelings may build-up for some women until they eventually spill over in a fight or flight response. Others may completely shut down in an attempt to remove themselves from the situation, and it may lead eventually to an outburst. 

We've all experienced these body sensations, but what we may not know is we can recognize these body responses and use the energy differently, in a healthier way. Recognition will help us break the cycle and stop impulsively and unconsciously repeating the same patterns shaped by our beliefs and life experiences. 

Our beliefs aren't something we consciously choose.

Beliefs evolve from our upbringing and how people interacted with us. They are part of human development. We learn through our interactions with others. Our beliefs shape how we perceive our relative importance compared to others. We realized what was safe and what was most honest in the world. 

We rarely think of our beliefs, even when they impact our daily lives through negative self-talk. Talk that may include thoughts like, 'I can't go back to school.’ 'I'm not fit enough, or 'my skin isn't smooth enough. 'I don't deserve to go on that trip.’ 'I don't deserve that new sweater.’ These beliefs about who we are, especially those put on us by others, are insidious and subtle and the most damaging. They come out as second nature, with little thoughts creeping in the back of our minds as we go about our day – even when we believe ourselves to be very confident. And each time we repeat this pattern of negative self-talk, it further ingrains our beliefs and habits within us and adds layers on top of our emotions.

That voice inside our head seems to get louder and louder as we get older, along with a fear that we're admitting we need help or are not satisfied if we bring it up. Instead, we may need to recognize that perhaps we can't do it, don't have it all together, or are exhausted after all these years of appearing to juggle everything effortlessly.  And, that’s ok. These are the fundamental and often real messy life experiences. 

What can we do about the negative self-talk? Can we change it? Can we do something differently? Are we getting in our own way? 

There are many approaches to working with and modifying our beliefs to align with how we want to react, learn, and grow during our life transitions, who we want to be in midlife, and what we want to accomplish in our prime time. 

Once we recognize these limiting beliefs, we can name the emotions behind them and begin to tame and reframe them into a reaction that helps us achieve a more positive outcome. It requires going deep within ourselves to get in touch with the emotions we experience. Next, recognize what caused the emotion. By understanding where that emotion originated, we can try to reframe it. 

It begins with hanging onto your thought and remembering, whatever you are experiencing or whatever your self-judgment, maybe it got there naturally and honestly from your life experiences. Thoughts can stem from wounds dating back to childhood. You may have developed protective mechanisms in situations to help you feel safe. You do have the ability to heal these old wounds. The desired outcome is to resync your emotions with your thinking and with your body and integrate them. 

Resyncing emotions allows us to reframe our beliefs, patterns, and habits. We can find the space to be secure in managing messy transitions in a way that opens up possibilities to grow, learn, and take advantage of opportunities that come our way in our personal and professional lives. Midlife gives us a chance to reimagine and reignite who we are and what we want from this life. Each of us has a story, and it may shape us, but we can separate ourselves and our sense of who we are from it. Our stories and our history do not define us. 

Below are some of the skills that we can work on to help us navigate a new way of harnessing the power of a healthy mind/body connection. Start with small changes to find an untapped spaciousness to open our emotional circuits and walk into the authentic power within each of us.

• Recognize your emotions: Learn how to reconnect with your body and accept your current habits and beliefs by examining your emotions. Be aware of the feeling. What are the physical clues you have happening in your body and your sensations? What are you aware of or thinking? What state are you in during the moment? When you begin to recognize these emotions, you can start to engage with yourself. You can also begin to connect with others very naturally. Become more open. You can start this by journaling your emotions and patterned responses and the energy you noticed as you became aware of that pattern. 

• Name your emotions: Get up close and personal with your current rhythm - learn how to go into an empowered and healthy emotional state more naturally. Learn to name the emotions you're feeling. Try to connect to the emotional side of yourself. Begin to name those emotions as you're experiencing them or when you're holding them back. Be graceful with yourself and acknowledge that there is no benefit to judgment. You're experiencing that emotional state because it's something important to you. 

• Experience your emotions: Feel the rhythm with your emotions. Bring awareness to your emotions and thoughts so that you can change the limiting beliefs and habits that may be holding you back. Learn to tame the emotions by allowing yourself to experience them. Begin to understand if you tend to go into a hyperarousal state or if you tend to shut down in uncomfortable situations. What are the thoughts (beliefs), movements (habits), body sensations, and emotions you feel? Do you take a position of blaming others, or do you feel sadness, shame, helplessness, anger, disappointment, frustration, or vulnerability? 

  Eventually, you'll be able to harness that energy more positively if you can avoid the natural fight or flight tendency (e.g., avoiding what you’re feeling). Start with a PAUSE where you allow yourself to sit with or even step into the emotions. Doing this is difficult, but it gives you space to move away from autopilot so you can change your existing beliefs and habits by integrating the information you're receiving into your thinking and decision-making. 

• Reframe your response aligned with your values. By sitting with your emotions, you’ll experience an inner fire on the other side. By learning to tap into this empowered state, you’ll experience courage, compassion, and clarity with your emotions as your energy source. New energy allows you to reframe your response because you created space for yourself. When you are predominantly in your empowerment state, courage, compassion, and clarity will come naturally. Your emotions become the guide for your passions, desires, and values. You can begin to tap into this empowered state with a meditation or mindfulness practice that includes a body and emotion scan. It means we don't fight, flee, or shut down but show up to the experience in different ways. We can be more curious if that reflects who we are or if we get pulled into it because of our story. It becomes a place to start connecting emotionally to examine the type of energy that occurs when you recognize you could feel safe in the rhythm of the situation.

• Enjoy a new rhythm for living. By having an integrated daily rhythm, you create a complete integration with your mind and body. You have a new daily rhythm for living that is more aware, with different behaviors, positive thoughts, and more integrated. You begin to accept current habits and beliefs and even start to use them to tap into an empowered state of courage, compassion, and clarity with your emotions as your energy source. When you’re intentional with your feelings, rather than acting out of impulse, you create a more natural, healthy, and connected state for yourself. You can have harmony in your differences with others and even use those differences for growth. 

Coming into midlife is our chance to learn and consciously decide where we want to go next in our lives, how we want to grow, and how we show up for ourselves and those who matter most to us. Midlife is an opportunity to embrace our inner selves, become more integrated, and live well.

Let’s take advantage of our capacity to move through messy midlife transitions, let go of old ways of being, and reignite our journey to flourish after 50. 

Discover How to Successfully Make Work and Life Transitions After 50

Many women after 50 feel burnt out, stressed, tired of the external pressures, and ready to make a change. But, they’re uncertain how to make work and life transitions at this age. Successful transitions are possible. Reset your mindset, to view them for what they are - exciting. You’re never too old to dream big and take the steps necessary to achieve your goals.

“Tell me what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life.”

Mary Oliver

Life is full of transitions  — kids going off to college, parents needing care and support, relationships ending, or careers evolving — especially after 50. 

Many women after 50 feel burnt out, stressed, tired of the external pressures, and ready to make a change. But instead of retiring, they are exploring opportunities for an encore career. An encore career is work in the second half of life that combines engagement, steady income, greater personal meaning, and social impact.  Other women are building portfolio careers — combining multiple paid and unpaid roles. It's a great way to indulge the various interests that you have. 

How do you successfully make these transitions?

After witnessing people in the workforce who were in unfulfilling jobs or careers and who weren’t happy,  Nancy Burke and Marg Penn, Ph.D., started their business, Future After 50, to help people make life transitions fun, more rewarding, and fulfilling. They began their business in their 60s, after years in corporate America. As a result, they have helped many men and women navigate life transitions successfully and feel more inspired than ever. 

On February 11, Nancy and Marg spoke to a group of Rumblings’ women and offered the following advice and wisdom for managing life transitions successfully to flourish after 50. 

Identify Your Skills and Experiences

Change is inevitable. Transitions require you to recognize your current skills and experiences. Understanding how to package and align your background with the skills needed for what you want to do will help you be successful.   

Nancy and Marg told a story and encouraged us to think of this process as “following the breadcrumbs.” They recommended approaching transitions with a learning mindset and talking to many different people about jobs, careers, volunteer opportunities, board positions, etc., that interest you. You don’t have to know what you’re looking for in the beginning. Just do the work and learn along the way —  picking up bread crumbs.  They’ve seen when women go out and explore, they find answers for themselves at the end of the breadcrumb trail. 

For most women, career and life satisfaction after 50 is not about the money, it's about having a sense of purpose and meaning, or in some cases finding something to be passionate about. 

Women over 50 have a wealth of life experience, whether it's work, family, volunteering, civic engagement, personal friendships, experiences with other women, etc. And, with this experience comes wisdom. However, midlife women often don't share their wisdom unsolicited; they need an invitation.  Don’t wait for the invitation. 

Midlife women bring a more comprehensive skill set than people who are a lot younger. We also have so many more resources than a 20-year-old.  Younger people don't have a robust network. For example, they haven't developed all the skills and perspectives that we have at our stage of life. 

It’s essential to recognize the expertise and experience you bring to the table. However, it’s also important to realize that younger people may be better in many skill areas, so enter this process with humility and a learning mindset. 

Adopt a Learning Mindset 

Ensure you’re up to speed on the technology and terminology of the fields you’re interested in pursuing. Technology and terminology continually change. It’s critical to stay on top of the changes. Take classes and learn about different industries if you’ve been out of the workforce for a while. Research to understand what is happening in the field(s) you may want to pursue.

You also need to prepare yourself to describe your skills in language that resonates with a potential employer. Each industry has its vocabulary.  For example, skills are transferable, but the nonprofit world doesn't talk about some skills the same way the corporate world does, so learning the terminology is essential for selling yourself. Suppose you haven't been in the workforce for a while. You must start to pull together some of the skills you used during the time you've been out. That means if you've done significant volunteer work, pull out the competencies from those experiences.  Women often minimize those experiences, particularly if it's been volunteer work. Finally, package your experience in the vocabulary used in the field you plan to pursue.

Employers are not bothered by women who have been home if they can see relevant experience. An employer wants to know that you can solve their problems and provide the kinds of skills that will help them accomplish the organization’s objectives.

It is possible to get into the trap of thinking too narrowly, and it is tough to get out of it. For example, you may think you’ve held a certain role for so long you believe you don't have the skills to do anything else. Or you may be limiting what you bring to the table because that’s the way you’ve always done things.

It's hard to think that way. If you recognize this in yourself, you may need to take a step back and reinvent yourself.  Start almost as a beginner, which means learning from people who are maybe as young as your children or more youthful. Reset your mindset to think you have as much to learn from them as they can learn from your experience. 

Adopting a learning mindset can open up your thinking and help you navigate transitions.

Create Clarity

If you don't know where you're going, it's going to be hard to get there. Start by doing personal assessment work. There are tools available to help you review your career history, lifetime achievements, and skills. This type of assessment process aims to review the skills you have from your work and volunteer experiences that you can take into a new opportunity. Often, transitions require us to package our expertise in different ways. Resumes need revisions so that a new employer can see how your skills transfer to a new opportunity.

Clarity doesn't come in a day or a week; it takes a little bit of time. Even when you're clear about where you want to go, it's not always easy to take action. Sometimes you need help to figure out what's holding you back from taking action and getting closer to what you want to do. It could be loyalty to your boss or your employer, fear of stepping out into the unknown, not wanting to take a pay cut even when it’s financially doable, or a job title that’s holding you back.    

Get clarity for yourself and understand what's keeping you from pursuing your dream. Talk to friends, family, colleagues, employers, mentors, or a coach to help you work through the process. You need to get a feel for what you're good at and what you love. It’s extremely difficult to do this from reading a book. 

Be Courageous

Unfortunately, the work world that we have been in was not well designed for women over 50, and as a result, we’ve had to put up with a lot in our careers. Around the time we turn 50, women often realize it’s not worth it anymore, and we start seeking a more fulfilling way to contribute.  It’s similar for women who haven't been working outside the home. We know we have more to contribute now that our children are launched. 

It takes courage to navigate transitions. After 50, you’ve got to embrace change and become good at making transitions. Now is the time to be courageous and step into your desires.  

Be Confident 

Unfortunately, women often lack the confidence to jump into something new. Nancy and Marg don’t see it as jumping. It’s waiting patiently, learning, and realigning. 

The goal is to figure out some of the roles you could pursue, the organizations where those roles might exist, and which organizations are appealing enough to check out. Then do research. You can do a lot of that research on the Internet. There's so much information available, but often the most valuable insight is gained by talking with people, which involves setting up conversations. Networking requires confidence. Many people don't want to bother the person to have a conversation. First of all, most people are willing to chat and share information.  That's what a networking meeting is all about. How can I learn? How can I find out about what kinds of organizations are out there? What's the culture like with this organization? Understand you’ve got things to offer. Usually, it takes about  20 conversations, maybe more, to see an opportunity emerge that you'd be interested in pursuing. Confidence is a critical ingredient for successful transitions.

Making a change is not a leap from one thing to something entirely different.  If you've been out of the work world for a while, you may wonder if you can compete or if you have skills that anybody wants. Jumping into a transition is often a two-step or more process, so it may mean that you are working in one thing and you do a side gig off in another and then make that develop into something that will pay the bills. Or you may take a job that's a transition job to give you the experience you need or time in a company to get to the ultimate role you want. 

Job cycles —hiring booms and valleys — can create fear and uncertainty about job security after 50. The pandemic and impact on the economy have resulted in people in their 50s and 60s losing their jobs which has amplified that fear. The reality is the economy’s ups and downs will always be there, and it is a macroeconomic issue. Don’t look at these statistics. You don’t have control over them. The statistics create unnecessary fear that there are no jobs in a down cycle or I am a loser if I don’t have a job in an upcycle. 

The reality is that you can get a job at any time. Remember that getting a job is a microeconomic issue for you and one employer. You have control over your skills and your mindset.  For example, during the pandemic, there are many healthcare startups, and they're looking for people who have deep experience because they want to scale. People with deep expertise are in their 50s and 60s.  Organizations need an infusion of people with extensive experience, as well those new in their career. 

There is age bias in the workplace. It's a small part of what people over 50 face. However, it could feel insurmountable if you start thinking that age bias is a big issue for you. Approximately 20% of age bias in the marketplace is reality, and about 80% is imagined. Most other people are not focused on your age. For everybody who has a bias against somebody over 50, there's somebody who has a bias against millennials or Generation Z. So, if you hold age as a barrier in your mind, it will get in your way. But if you can start focusing on the skills and value you bring to employers and forget your limiting beliefs around age, you will find it becomes much less of an issue. 

It’s easy to get pigeonholed by your past experiences. If you want to make a change, it's sometimes difficult to see beyond our personal experiences. Be confident.

Lift Up Other Women 

On your way to mastering your transition, think about how you can lift up other women as well. One way to do that is by amplifying their skills, expertise, and contributions in a conversation, at a meeting, in an email, or through social media. 

Acknowledging the contributions of women around you — younger or older — goes a long way. Not only do you highlight their contributions to more people, but they’ll also appreciate what you’re doing and be more willing to listen to you.

Successful transitions are possible. Reset your mindset, to view them for what they are - exciting. The message is you’re never too old to dream big and take the steps necessary to achieve your goals. Identify your skills and experience. Adopt a learning mindset. Seek clarity. Be courageous. Be confident. And lift up other women along the way. Together we Rumble and flourish! 

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream another dream.”

C.S. Lewis

How to Use Your Brain to Age Well and Stay Young

We all have the capacity to be fluid or fixed in our mindset. The growth path is to be adaptable to certain situations - to allow ourselves to be moved and changed due to our environment, experiences, and creative process. A fluid mindset creates new brain pathways leading to success, improves creativity, and helps growth, which will enable us to deal with the uncertainty ahead.

This past year has been a rollercoaster, full of highs and lows co-existing in a new definition of our human experience none of us were expecting. It’s lasted longer than most of us ever imagined.  

None of us has a crystal ball to know what the future holds, but it seems more unclear now than ever. Not knowing what’s coming next, nor how to plan for it and predict even the near future in any reasonable way, can be frightening and frustrating at the same time. 

It may feel as if time is standing still, but change is happening around us. In some aspects, change is accelerating. Without realizing it, this past year, we’ve also been gaining the skills and tools we need to reframe our plans for the future and redefine what that will look like, no matter how uncertain that future may be. 

In our last blog post, we shared how to become aware of unconscious cognitive biases that impact what we perceive, how we think, and what actions we take. 

As we begin to understand our unconscious biases and start reshaping our perspectives, decisions, and behaviors, our mindset begins to shift. Becoming aware of our preferences and shifting our mindset allows growth to occur, which will enable us to deal with the uncertainty ahead. We will have the fortitude to persevere in the face of the fear that comes with the unknown.

Below are just a few of the mindset reset types emerging from a growing body of research into the social science and neuroscience of how our brains work. Becoming familiar with them can help change our thinking and identify behaviors we’d like to modify.

Abundance vs. Scarcity - An abundance mindset focuses on the possibilities of what could be, resulting in feeling hopeful, grateful, and fulfilled. It begins with believing that we are enough. With that sense of being enough, we can embrace our worthiness, create boundaries, and be more fully engaged. It opens us up to be willing to be more present, allowing us to show up more fully and authentically. It requires vulnerability. 

A scarcity mindset is a notion that there is never enough, or worse, that we are not enough. This scarcity mindset can ultimately lead to internalizing our worthiness compared to others. Brene’ Brown describes scarcity as being the opposite of enough. Before we even get out of bed in the morning, our self-talk focuses on assessing and comparing ourselves to others - “I didn’t get enough sleep.” “I’m not _____ enough.” “Remember when?”. 

We all struggle with being open and vulnerable and wrestle with the self-doubt that comes from wanting to shield ourselves and fall back into a scarcity mindset. It takes awareness and continual practice to cultivate an abundance mindset. 

Growth vs. Fixed - The belief that mental abilities decline during aging is evolving. It turns out, peak mental age is later than believed, especially if we view our prime time years as an opportunity to reinvent and develop new interests. Creative capacity exponentially increases by pushing boundaries and learning new things by creating new neural pathways and causing our brains to change, no matter our age. Our brains also have excellent muscle memory from past experiences and knowledge that can help us master new challenges more quickly. When we continue to experiment, learn, and experience new things, our creativity compounds, especially in our later years. 

The challenge is the brain tries to be as efficient as possible and has a natural tendency to take the path of least resistance in our thinking processes. It has a preference for sticking with what is most comfortable. When we allow ourselves to give in to those tendencies to give up easily, avoid risks, and stop trying during the challenging parts of learning new skills, is where we succumb to a fixed mindset — we’re too old to change, or it’s not worth trying because it won’t matter. 

Infinite vs. Finite - A limitless mindset calls for continual growth and improvement. There is no end. The fulfillment comes from the journey and challenging yourself to become better. An infinite mindset applies to learning, leading, being healthy, and those things where it’s vital to strive constantly to stay in the game or participate in the journey. It’s about advancing something bigger than ourselves - we will never get there, but even so, we continue striving forward. We can have a finite goal to know we are making progress - such as a weight-loss or fitness goal, but striving for good health and well-being is an infinite mindset. We don’t reach an end and stop; health is a journey.

When we get caught up in a limiting or finite mindset, we can get stuck in repeating negative self-talk or thinking through the worst scenarios and outcomes. But those ‘what if’ statements that we play in our minds can go both ways. More recent science suggests that our brains are not only malleable and can change but have the ability to develop new pathways. 

Accepting change can be challenging, mainly because it requires action and growth. Resisting change almost always comes out of a transition from something happy and pleasant, or at least comfortable. Change may be uncomfortable and unpredictable. Given that change is inevitable, it is time to embrace change, see it as an opportunity for growth, and understand that the process is essential for brain health.

There are steps to can take to reframe how we experience change. These actions may help our head and heart surrender to embrace the natural discomfort that results:

1. Remember the reality that change is constant and inevitable. We go through change on average every 12-18 months. It’s a natural process.

2. Run through future scenarios and work them out in our head, using the negative ‘what ifs’ as an opportunity to make mistakes in your head so we can avoid them in real life. Then pivot and also play out ‘what if’ scenarios that may result in a positive outcome. 

3. Reflect on the benefit of age and experiences. Think about times you’ve embraced change and how you grew as a result. Remember, over time, we tend to gloss over the more painful struggles and hurt and remember the good memories and the growth we gained from change. You have survived change 100 percent of the time. 

By reflecting on our past experiences, it is almost always the more challenging times and events that lead to more meaningful progress in life. The past year’s challenges can be a tremendous opportunity to transition and have the potential to bring a new way of being in this world if we’re open to it. 

At Rumblings, we believe our prime years and our best accomplishments are still ahead of us. We also believe that to achieve our goals and make our dreams a reality, abundance, growth, and infinite mindsets are critical. 

Yes, change is accelerating, but perhaps one of the learnings from this pandemic is that it gave us the tools that we desperately needed -  time for stillness and going inside ourselves so that we can have a fresh look at the world around us. The deeper insights we gain, combined with our wisdom, allow us to more carefully curate the change and the dreams we have for our lives. 

The fortitude to persevere is the cousin to confidence - it is what comes from creating new brain pathways that lead to consistent success at achieving goals. We have the wisdom of our life experiences from which to pull. There is power in that knowledge gained from our experiences, especially when we realize we’re not yet fully formed. We can only open ourselves to this potential if we consistently choose the more open mindsets and build confidence in our capacity for change. 

We will all have doubts. It’s a constant reframing practice, pulling ourselves away from the negative ‘what ifs,’ self-talk, catching ourselves sooner, and gaining strength in our abilities. That is part of creating new pathways in our brains and developing new patterns of thinking and behaviors. 

Brain malleability is learning from doing and developing new muscle memory. You can pull from that to form mastery gained from your previous muscle memory and experiences. Building from previous experiences to create even more pathways is the key to a long, fulfilling, and prosperous life quality in your later years. 

Do the work. You’re growing and learning. More than ever, now is your time to shine and share your unique gifts. 

Together we Rumble!

Karyn and Rebecca