Go Inward: Find Calm in Chaos

The benefits of meditation manifest through practice.

We have all heard about the benefits of meditation. Quieting your mind and going inward can improve stress, anxiety, sleep, attention, self awareness, age-related memory loss, mood, and compassion. However, for many women sitting still with themselves isn’t easy.  We are too busy or cannot quiet our minds. 

We invited Sydney Holly, owner of Kula Yoga in Minneapolis, to share tips and techniques for going inward during a Rumblings community virtual event. She didn’t disappoint. During the session, we learned the value of daily practice for cultivating self acceptance and calmness as we moved through meditation together. 

If you weren’t able to attend in person, or did attend and want to be reminded of her wisdom, we summarized and condensed Sydney’s advice for finding calm in the midst of chaos into the key takeaways below. 

There is value in coming together in community. 

For those of you who don't know, the word Kula actually means community. When Sydney first had the opportunity to take over yoga space from a previous owner, she hesitated because she wasn’t a business person and owning a studio didn’t appeal to her. However, what did appeal to her was the idea of community. She wanted to maintain the existing community and to teach so she eventually said yes to the offer, but decided the studio name had to be different. Because she felt like she was in this together with her students, the name became Kula.  

“I feel like that's exactly what Karyn and Rebecca are putting together (with Rumblings)— ways for people to find community.” 

Sydney Holly, owner Kula Yoga

Community has been important since human beings have been in existence. We create our own sisterhood and that sisterhood gives us much needed buoyancy. 

The benefits of meditation manifest through practice.

For Sydney, there is no separation between the meditative and physical practices of yoga.  As we move, we work through some of the more esoteric kinds of yoga philosophies so that we can really be in ourselves. When you watch babies and children play they don't stop to contemplate or think, right? They don't wait for everything to slow down. Instead, they're finding joy being in their routine and in their movement.

If you don't have a yoga mat, that's fine. If you don’t have yoga clothes, it doesn’t matter. Take the pressure off yourself. Often, something that comes along with meditation is the pressure to be “good at it”. There is a similar pressure with yoga. The truth is, there's no such thing as being good at meditating or good at yoga. Just being is the important part.

Remember that the meditation benefits aren’t just a theory. The benefits manifest in practice. Invite the healing prana, that healing breath, into every cell of your being while you practice. Your mantra is the sound of the breath going in and out through the nose.

“Do your practice and all is coming.”

Sri K. Pattabi Jois, Founder of Ashtanga Yoga

As women we question ourselves, right? And, we spend time really wondering and wondering and wondering. The more time you spend on your mat— in yoga, in Asana, in meditation—the more the answers are revealed because you already have them all inside of you. 

As human beings, we tend to get stuck in our heads. Yogis call this the Vritti or the chatter of the mind. As human beings, we want to live in our soul. Our Ātman is our inner self, spirit, or soul. The idea is to get to our inner essence and to tap into the subtle form of radiance, health, immunity, and longevity within ourselves. 

Wholehearted living means total, complete, and radical self compassion and self love. 

With each yoga practice, it is important to set an intention. We call it Sankalpa, which translates to seed of intent or a positive thought that we want to manifest in the world, a promise we make to ourselves. That sounds really nice, doesn't it? You plant a seed. You have an intention. You water it every day. You give it some sunshine. You love it. Then it flourishes and you're living the life of your dreams. 

If it were only that easy. Along with our Sankalpa—our seed of intent— is all of the work it takes to nurse that state of intent. The tricky part is that in conjunction with the light there's the darkness—Vikalpa, the shadow side of your intention. In yoga we're not working with good, or bad, but instead yin and yang. The union of opposites yields wholeness. 

“Wholehearted living is about engaging with our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion and connection to wake up in the morning and think, ‘No matter what gets done and how much is left undone, I am enough.’ It’s going to bed at night thinking, ‘Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.”  

Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfection

Wholeheartedness means total, complete, and radical self compassion and self love. You can't just say to yourself you are ok if you are at 90% right now in your self compassion and self love. It must be 100% - accepting that the Vikalpa goes along with the Sankalpa in the way that we actually get to manifest more intentional living. The Vikalpa might show up as a distraction, dreaming, an excuse, negative self talk, or as really punishing behavior —as in who do I think I am that I know how to meditate or how selfish I am  to practice. Total complete radical 100% self acceptance and self love is what invites us to then say to ourselves, that this is just part of the process. This is the way it goes. 

“We deserve our birthright, which is the middle way, an open state of mind that can relax with paradox and ambiguity.” 

Pema Chödrön

Pema Chödrön is a wonderful Buddhist monk. She talks a lot about the middle way. The middle way is the yoga path. The yogi practices the middle way because extremes - the highs and lows or the likes and dislikes - only feed your ego. Then your ego starts to become a limiting factor for your freedom. 

Your freedom is where the joy happens—that's where the manifestation of the life you really want happens, because you're able to not only remember who you are, but you're able to remember that your journey is what makes you who you are. The journey is part of your whole hearted existence -  it is100% radical, complete self love and self acceptance. 

“Have you ever wondered why it's so hard to change? It's probably because you're missing one key ingredient—self compassion. Usually we try to make change in our lives by pushing ourselves, judging ourselves, and then beating ourselves up when we don't succeed. But science shows that shame shuts down the learning centers of the brain. What this means is that every time we judge ourselves, we are robbing ourselves of the very resources we need to change and live a happier life. The surprising solution is self compassion. When you treat yourself with kindness, you turn on the learning centers of the brain and give yourself the resources you need to change. This is what leads us to greater calm, clarity and joy.” 

Shauna Shapiro, PhD

Yoga is a tool that can lead us on a different path. 

That's why even a really brief, gentle breathing, and movement can shift you. It can bring up feelings of frustration and maybe a little uncertainty. But, it definitely pulled you into the moment. 

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space lies our freedom and our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our happiness.” 

Viktor Frankl 

Think about your yoga or meditation practice as a pause. Our world is beyond uncertain right now. Our trust levels are super low. The middle way is to be able to say I know who I am authentically. The gritty chatter of my mind does not define me. 

Make a commitment to start practicing.

Just start. Choose something that fits into the routine you already have. Everyone wakes up and goes to bed. Take two minutes before you get out of bed, pull your knees to your chest, take three deep breaths, and say good morning. I am here. I am grateful. I am worthy. I am evolving. I am compassionate. 

If you don't feel like meditation is for you or you feel inauthentic doing it, keep practicing. It's ok not to feel connected with the practice right away. It doesn't mean you'll continue to feel that way. The more you practice. The more important your yoga becomes in your life and yet the less seriously you take it. Just show up. 

On December 6, a group of women showed up and let our practice work its magic on us. We practiced radical, complete, and whole hearted self love and self acceptance. As we did that, we affirmed who we are, where we are, and what's important to us.  

Our practice isn’t done, the more you begin to be still with yourself and move, you will intuitively begin to trust yourself.