Our Tip to Banish the Midlife Blues
I (Rebecca) am writing this post while sitting in the emergency room at our local hospital. Sometimes it feels like the fog of the COVID pandemic is lifting, and life is slowly getting back to normal. Then there are times, like today, I am reminded that suffering and pandemic challenges continue for many people.
Karyn and I often speak about the heaviness we sense when we spend too much time watching the news, scrolling through social media, or focusing on the lost moments of the last two years. It can all feel too divisive, overwhelming, and confrontational versus conversational.
The world has changed in ways that we haven’t experienced before and will likely never return to the same ‘normal’ we lived before March 2020. We’ve changed too. And all of the uncertainty and change has left many of us languishing (living in a state of decreased vitality or blah) or feeling blue.
Getting out of feeling this way will not happen by flipping a switch or willing ourselves to be joyful, happy, hopeful, and vibrant. There isn’t a perfect timeline for resilience. None of our experiences are the same. Some of us will need to sit with our feelings and emotions and process them longer than others.
What has helped us feel better when we’re feeling this way—is turning off the news, filtering our social media accounts, assessing who we’re spending time with, and connecting with other midlife women to have honest conversations about what we’re feeling.
Looking back over the last two years and creating a list of things that have changed our lives for the better has also helped us see the beauty in the season we’ve been through. The process has helped us see we’ve created changes in our lives that we’re proud of and bring us joy and are ones we will continue. It is a list we reflect on when we feel ourselves languishing.
Here’s part of our list:
We edited our homes to support our health and well-being. Our family added an infra-red sauna in an unused section of our furnace room. Initially, we were worried it would be another household fad; however, we’ve found that the entire family is still reaping the benefits two years later. Karyn outfitted a fantastic outdoor space into an oasis to soak up the sun, relax, and entertain.
We reconfirmed our need and enjoyment of daily gentle movement outdoors. We looked for quick ways to exercise due to our busy schedules during our intense executive careers. The pandemic helped us slow down, get outdoors on long walks, and appreciate the benefits of nature again.
We reviewed how we want to live our lives. Yes, we launched Rumblings during the pandemic. It wasn’t easy, but the ‘extra’ time helped us dig deep into our personal ‘why,’ our talents, and who we wanted to serve as we age. We want to help midlife women feel valued, seen, heard, and vibrant.
We reconnected with friends and family on a deeper level. We had deep, meaningful, and sometimes challenging conversations with those we care about without the chaos of sports schedules, work engagements, and life events. We relaxed. We listened. We grew.
We realized that facing adversity and missing out on meaningful moments such as graduations, weddings, and funerals, made us refocus, reflect, and reframe how we celebrate. We uncovered creativity we hadn’t used in a while and celebrated loved ones in new ways that created new memories.
We rediscovered our love for growing and nurturing plants! My 16-year-old son recently asked me how many plants I had pre-pandemic (2) and how many I have now (28). I’ve realized that growing (and eating) plants bring me joy. Both Karyn and I also started growing veggies in pots and raised garden beds, a hobby that we put aside while we were both busy working and raising kids. Each year we’ve expanded our harvest!
We learned. Karyn and I both are learners. We feel inspired, more energetic, and excited when we’re learning, whether through online webinars, events, conversations, or classes (most recently, Pickleball!). Learning doesn’t have to stop at a certain age. As our kids have grown, we have more time to learn new things and experience life in different ways!
We’ve also learned we want to continue to support this fantastic community through tips, tools, and techniques that can help ourselves and others in midlife. One of these tools is resetting our mindsets to focus on gratitude, as we did with this list. Although some people can reset their mindset and take action to change how they feel quickly, for others, it takes more time. There is no ‘right’ timeline. We are each on our own journey.
As organizational psychologist and best-selling author Adam Grant, Ph.D., wrote recently— “Strength is not the speed of your recovery. It’s the intensity of your resolve.”
Creating this list and reflecting on the last two years helped us feel grateful, content, and ok. Our inventory is not meant to be a comparison list for your evolution over the previous few years. It is intended to serve as an example to show and remind ourselves we have experienced joy, fulfillment, and positive change in our lives to carry into the future. Making this list, reflecting on it, celebrating change, and being grateful, helped us feel better. It served as a reminder that even when things happening in the world around us seems bleak, it’s possible to experience the full range of human emotion.
The process has helped me feel better as I process the many medical challenges my family has faced over the last couple of months.
We encourage you to make your own list, find joy and feel gratitude for the experiences, growth, and changes you have been through.
If you’re looking for more inspiration to reset your mindset in midlife check out earlier blog posts on finding a mindset reset and cultivating a reset mindset.
Together we RUMBLE!