Recognizing Midlife Challenges: Ladies, you’re not alone!

Fashion After 50, A Fashion Week MN Event. Photo credit: G. Marie Images

“Right after your breakdown is your breakthrough.” – Trent Shelton 

Do any of the following midlife challenges sound familiar? Weight changes, including changes in your physical body shape, loss of strength and balance, or changes in your metabolism. 

We’ve been surveying women since 2021; those were the most common challenges they shared experience in midlife. 

Women also told us about feeling achy, having pain, and experiencing a lack of stamina or fatigue. All of which interfered with achieving their exercise and fitness goals. Eating healthfully and getting adequate sleep were also on the list. 

They also shared difficulties staying connected and engaged with friends (or the loss of friends) and family due to life transitions. The lack of connection was often described as feelings of loneliness. 

Women also felt torn between managing grown children, aging parents, and not having enough personal time to care for themselves.

Financial stress and feeling prepared for retirement were also reported as challenges. 

The list challenge list continued, although not as many women reported the following:

• Feeling stressed

• Getting healthcare professionals to listen

• Being self-compassionate

• Enjoying life without guilt

• Feeling invisible

• Experiencing ageism at work

• Having anxiety

• Dressing for age

• Increasing disease risks

• Finding purpose

How do you feel when you hear the challenges and struggles of other midlife women? Do they resonate with you? 

Sharing this list is not to overwhelm you with midlife challenges you may or may not be experiencing but to help you see YOU ARE NOT ALONE. Midlife is a time of transition, and with transition and changes come challenges. Our bodies are changing. Our kids are leaving home. Our parents are aging. Our friendship groups are changing and evolving. We may be reassessing what we want during this phase of our careers. Many women ask themselves, ”What is my purpose, and what should my life look like for the next decades?” 

Experiencing these challenges that come with midlife are common than most women believe them to be. And the difficulties faced during this time are natural too. It’s time to normalize, talk, and share the realities of midlife and lean on each other as we learn to position ourselves to live vibrantly. We can and should flourish through our 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond! 

The good news is that we can overcome the new challenges of midlife! With the right tips, tools, and techniques, you can tackle these challenges and live your best life! 

Here’s what you can do to overcome your midlife challenges:

1. Write down the challenges you face in midlife. Be very specific. It is not an exercise about wallowing in our challenges but recognizing them to address them. 

2. Keep your list visible. Add to the list throughout the week. 

3. Sign-up to receive our bi-weekly email newsletter. In each email, we provide tips, tools, and techniques for overcoming challenges and creating lasting change in your life. 

4. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn, where we provide additional tips and talk about living vibrantly together.

5. Review your list frequently. Develop a plan to tackle one or two of the most pressing challenges you are experiencing.  

6. Take small steps every day to address your challenges. 

Most importantly, you’re not alone. We’re on this journey together, and at Rumblings, we believe women can and should flourish after 50!

Midlife Transitions and Challenges: A Call for a Renewed Vision

You feel a “rumbling” inside yourself that your life should be different from what it is right now. 

You’re not alone. 

One thing many midlife women have in common is the experience of an internal rumbling—a feeling something should be different or something needs to change. It may be hard to pinpoint where the discomfort comes from, but you feel an unsettling rising internally. 

This feeling could be the need for a change in your career, where you’re spending your time, how you’re taking care of yourself, who you socialize alongside, or how you experience fun. 

Whatever the cause…it is time to listen. 

Midlife is a time of transitions—kids are leaving home, friendships are evolving, careers are changing, parents are aging and need help, disease risks are rising, and bodies are aging. You’re not alone in feeling like you’re going through the motions, taking care of others, and postponing self-care during this time. As a result, you may feel tired, distracted, sleep-deprived, and lacking energy. 

The excellent news is…you’ve got this! You can reignite and flourish with a little focus, intention, and consistency. 

Here’s the thing, your old identity may be holding you back and sabotaging the future YOU. You may be stuck in old behaviors that are not aligned with who you are in midlife or who you want to be. You may be comparing your 20-, 30 -or 40-year-old self to your current self and unintentionally holding yourself back from living well now. 

“True behavior change is identity change.” – James Clear, author of Atomic Habits.

To create change, you must change your underlying beliefs about yourself and how you want to live. 

Your current beliefs and actions are a reflection of your current identity. Internal stories and limiting beliefs may be holding you back from living the life you envision. The rumbling you’re experiencing is most likely a reflection of an inner identity conflict—you want one thing, but your actions aren’t aligned. 

The best way to start feeling differently is to start living differently is to stop and reflect on your current beliefs, worldview, self-image, how you see others, and your biases. This is often referred to as your identity. 

Next, it’s time to reimagine a vision for your future self. 

You can do this by moving through the following steps: 

1. Close your eyes

2. Take a few deep breaths

3. Ask yourself:

• What is your vision for your life five years from now?

• What do you want to be doing and experiencing?

• Who do you want to be experiencing your life with?

• What brings you joy?

• What memories do you want to be making?

• How do you want your loved ones to remember you?

• How do you want your body to feel? Don’t focus on your appearance, but how do you want your body to FEEL?

• What energy do you want to be radiating? What energy and vitality do you want to put into the world?

• How do you want people to feel when they’re around you?

• How will you show up for yourself and your loved ones?

• Now think about ten, twenty, and thirty years from now. Does your vision change?

• What do you want your life to look like, and how do you want your body to feel and be capable of doing?

4. When you’re ready, write your thoughts, feelings, and vision down.

5. Repeat this exercise several times over the next few weeks to help you reframe and revise your midlife vision.

You are the architect of your life. To live your new vision, you must first let go of your old behaviors that are out of alignment. 

It’s time to start living your vision. 

1. Every day review your vision. Envision yourself living your dream. Immerse yourself in how you feel when your daily life aligns with your vision. Your brain will respond when you regularly visualize how you want to live. 

2. Next, take actions that are aligned with your vision. When making a choice ask yourself, “Is this decision or action aligned with my envisioned identity?”

Repeat every day, and soon you will reignite! If you need more help setting and living your vision, you may enjoy our 90-Day Vision Journal.

If you need help addressing your inner rumbling(s), check out our FREE downloadable worksheet to get started.

As you reflect on a midlife vision, you may enjoy reading two popular blog posts—Take Steps to Reignite Yourself After 50 and Five Ways to Reinvent Your Career— to get you thinking about the changes you want to make.

Our Tip to Banish the Midlife Blues

I (Rebecca) am writing this post while sitting in the emergency room at our local hospital. Sometimes it feels like the fog of the COVID pandemic is lifting, and life is slowly getting back to normal. Then there are times, like today, I am reminded that suffering and pandemic challenges continue for many people.  

Karyn and I often speak about the heaviness we sense when we spend too much time watching the news, scrolling through social media, or focusing on the lost moments of the last two years. It can all feel too divisive, overwhelming, and confrontational versus conversational. 

The world has changed in ways that we haven’t experienced before and will likely never return to the same ‘normal’ we lived before March 2020. We’ve changed too. And all of the uncertainty and change has left many of us languishing (living in a state of decreased vitality or blah) or feeling blue. 

Getting out of feeling this way will not happen by flipping a switch or willing ourselves to be joyful, happy, hopeful, and vibrant. There isn’t a perfect timeline for resilience. None of our experiences are the same. Some of us will need to sit with our feelings and emotions and process them longer than others. 

What has helped us feel better when we’re feeling this way—is turning off the news, filtering our social media accounts, assessing who we’re spending time with, and connecting with other midlife women to have honest conversations about what we’re feeling. 

Looking back over the last two years and creating a list of things that have changed our lives for the better has also helped us see the beauty in the season we’ve been through. The process has helped us see we’ve created changes in our lives that we’re proud of and bring us joy and are ones we will continue. It is a list we reflect on when we feel ourselves languishing. 

Here’s part of our list:

We edited our homes to support our health and well-being. Our family added an infra-red sauna in an unused section of our furnace room. Initially, we were worried it would be another household fad; however, we’ve found that the entire family is still reaping the benefits two years later. Karyn outfitted a fantastic outdoor space into an oasis to soak up the sun, relax, and entertain. 

We reconfirmed our need and enjoyment of daily gentle movement outdoors. We looked for quick ways to exercise due to our busy schedules during our intense executive careers. The pandemic helped us slow down, get outdoors on long walks, and appreciate the benefits of nature again. 

We reviewed how we want to live our lives. Yes, we launched Rumblings during the pandemic. It wasn’t easy, but the ‘extra’ time helped us dig deep into our personal ‘why,’ our talents, and who we wanted to serve as we age. We want to help midlife women feel valued, seen, heard, and vibrant. 

We reconnected with friends and family on a deeper level. We had deep, meaningful, and sometimes challenging conversations with those we care about without the chaos of sports schedules, work engagements, and life events. We relaxed. We listened. We grew.

We realized that facing adversity and missing out on meaningful moments such as graduations, weddings, and funerals, made us refocus, reflect, and reframe how we celebrate. We uncovered creativity we hadn’t used in a while and celebrated loved ones in new ways that created new memories. 

We rediscovered our love for growing and nurturing plants! My 16-year-old son recently asked me how many plants I had pre-pandemic (2) and how many I have now (28). I’ve realized that growing (and eating) plants bring me joy. Both Karyn and I also started growing veggies in pots and raised garden beds, a hobby that we put aside while we were both busy working and raising kids. Each year we’ve expanded our harvest! 

We learned. Karyn and I both are learners. We feel inspired, more energetic, and excited when we’re learning, whether through online webinars, events, conversations, or classes (most recently, Pickleball!). Learning doesn’t have to stop at a certain age. As our kids have grown, we have more time to learn new things and experience life in different ways! 

We’ve also learned we want to continue to support this fantastic community through tips, tools, and techniques that can help ourselves and others in midlife. One of these tools is resetting our mindsets to focus on gratitude, as we did with this list. Although some people can reset their mindset and take action to change how they feel quickly, for others, it takes more time. There is no ‘right’ timeline. We are each on our own journey. 

As organizational psychologist and best-selling author Adam Grant, Ph.D., wrote recently— “Strength is not the speed of your recovery. It’s the intensity of your resolve.”

Creating this list and reflecting on the last two years helped us feel grateful, content, and ok. Our inventory is not meant to be a comparison list for your evolution over the previous few years. It is intended to serve as an example to show and remind ourselves we have experienced joy, fulfillment, and positive change in our lives to carry into the future. Making this list, reflecting on it, celebrating change, and being grateful, helped us feel better. It served as a reminder that even when things happening in the world around us seems bleak, it’s possible to experience the full range of human emotion. 

The process has helped me feel better as I process the many medical challenges my family has faced over the last couple of months. 

We encourage you to make your own list, find joy and feel gratitude for the experiences, growth, and changes you have been through.

If you’re looking for more inspiration to reset your mindset in midlife check out earlier blog posts on finding a mindset reset and cultivating a reset mindset. 

Together we RUMBLE!