Seven Great Tips for Finding the Courage to Change During Midlife
‘Courage and daring are coursing through your veins. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen. That’s midlife.’ Brene’ Brown
Midlife is full of change. We experience transitions ranging from kids graduating and starting on their own, caring for aging parents, health issues of our own, becoming grandparents, changing marital status, household moves, and career moves. Not to mention the changes that are happening with our bodies! Some of the changes are wonderful. Others are very messy and complicated. The only constant is the change itself.
One of the many things the two of us have in common is our strong desire to embrace change. You might even say we intentionally seek it out. As we prepare for a significant announcement for Rumblings representing a giant leap outside our comfort zone, even for us (check our social media and website for more information coming soon), we started thinking about how we approach change.
The focus of our careers has been helping people navigate through behavior change. We’ve helped individuals change their health behaviors, assisted populations create a culture of wellness, and worked with large companies to transform their approach to improving the health of the people they serve.
Personally, each of us has always embraced change. Sometimes, we’ve purposefully sought out change, even when life events weren’t requiring it of us.
How do you move through change in a way that is healthy and develops resiliency? These are a few of the guideposts that we’ve used to help ourselves and others navigate change.
Learning to navigate through change is a skill. One of the best ways to build skills is through experience. You’ve been through change before and survived every single time. These skills you’ve developed help you become resilient in the face of change.
Try to let go of what people think and realize perfectionism is not healthy striving. When you slip, make mistakes, and even fail, give yourself grace. Be mindful of your self-talk by respecting yourself as you would speak to others about making mistakes. It is hard for everyone to show this level of self-love. We tend to live in a world framed by the words “I’m supposed to do this” or “I need to do that” before everything is good in life.
Spend time reflecting on what is truly important to you. The place to start is for each of us to spend time with ourselves in stillness, whether in nature, walking, reading, yoga, or meditation, to let our inner awareness reveal the things that no longer serve us. Being still, or time relaxing, helps cultivate creativity, reduces stress, and prevents burnout during times of change.
Cultivate a learning mindset. A learning mindset might include resetting your mindset to focus on the pleasure you experience from new things you are learning versus what you cannot do right now. It can be challenging to do this while in the middle of change, but it will help you discover the joy of so many new experiences in your life. It could be as simple as identifying what you are grateful for in the new day before your feet touch the floor in the morning.
Develop a support system. These are the connections and your community that will stand by you in times of need. They won’t try to fix your problems, try to change you, or minimize what you are going through. Instead, they are the ones in your life that will listen, provide a word of encouragement, a hug, and a reality check that you are not alone. Then, reach out to these people when you’re in need!
Minimize mindless and numbing behaviors. During times of significant change, we need a temporary respite. Are the activities you’re choosing while taking a break an escape or numbing behaviors? What actions can you select to contribute to your ability to manage through change? Be mindful to choose the activities enhancing your creativity rather than diminishing your mental and physical health. It’s challenging to think about flourishing during times of change, but you can focus on replenishing your spirit.
Remember to breathe. Change can be overwhelming, even for those of us who intentionally seek it out. When you start to border on panic, fear, stress, or paralysis, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that you’ve experienced massive change before and made it through in one piece - although perhaps altered mentally or physically. You have what it takes to survive, and you are not alone.
The reset mindset that change is something to embrace rather than dread may be one of the most important learnings of midlife. The challenges we experience in midlife don’t go away. It’s part of life. The difference comes from understanding that we can no longer carry both the pretend facade we’ve built for the outside world and embrace showing up and giving our true gifts.
Time is growing short. We have unfulfilled dreams to live and things about ourselves to explore still. Resisting inevitable change prevents us from growing into a life that may be messy and inconvenient but also full of adventure and whole-hearted living.
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Together we Rumble!
Karyn and Rebecca
Website: rumblingsmedia.com
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