Midlife Transitions and Challenges: A Call for a Renewed Vision

You feel a “rumbling” inside yourself that your life should be different from what it is right now. 

You’re not alone. 

One thing many midlife women have in common is the experience of an internal rumbling—a feeling something should be different or something needs to change. It may be hard to pinpoint where the discomfort comes from, but you feel an unsettling rising internally. 

This feeling could be the need for a change in your career, where you’re spending your time, how you’re taking care of yourself, who you socialize alongside, or how you experience fun. 

Whatever the cause…it is time to listen. 

Midlife is a time of transitions—kids are leaving home, friendships are evolving, careers are changing, parents are aging and need help, disease risks are rising, and bodies are aging. You’re not alone in feeling like you’re going through the motions, taking care of others, and postponing self-care during this time. As a result, you may feel tired, distracted, sleep-deprived, and lacking energy. 

The excellent news is…you’ve got this! You can reignite and flourish with a little focus, intention, and consistency. 

Here’s the thing, your old identity may be holding you back and sabotaging the future YOU. You may be stuck in old behaviors that are not aligned with who you are in midlife or who you want to be. You may be comparing your 20-, 30 -or 40-year-old self to your current self and unintentionally holding yourself back from living well now. 

“True behavior change is identity change.” – James Clear, author of Atomic Habits.

To create change, you must change your underlying beliefs about yourself and how you want to live. 

Your current beliefs and actions are a reflection of your current identity. Internal stories and limiting beliefs may be holding you back from living the life you envision. The rumbling you’re experiencing is most likely a reflection of an inner identity conflict—you want one thing, but your actions aren’t aligned. 

The best way to start feeling differently is to start living differently is to stop and reflect on your current beliefs, worldview, self-image, how you see others, and your biases. This is often referred to as your identity. 

Next, it’s time to reimagine a vision for your future self. 

You can do this by moving through the following steps: 

1. Close your eyes

2. Take a few deep breaths

3. Ask yourself:

• What is your vision for your life five years from now?

• What do you want to be doing and experiencing?

• Who do you want to be experiencing your life with?

• What brings you joy?

• What memories do you want to be making?

• How do you want your loved ones to remember you?

• How do you want your body to feel? Don’t focus on your appearance, but how do you want your body to FEEL?

• What energy do you want to be radiating? What energy and vitality do you want to put into the world?

• How do you want people to feel when they’re around you?

• How will you show up for yourself and your loved ones?

• Now think about ten, twenty, and thirty years from now. Does your vision change?

• What do you want your life to look like, and how do you want your body to feel and be capable of doing?

4. When you’re ready, write your thoughts, feelings, and vision down.

5. Repeat this exercise several times over the next few weeks to help you reframe and revise your midlife vision.

You are the architect of your life. To live your new vision, you must first let go of your old behaviors that are out of alignment. 

It’s time to start living your vision. 

1. Every day review your vision. Envision yourself living your dream. Immerse yourself in how you feel when your daily life aligns with your vision. Your brain will respond when you regularly visualize how you want to live. 

2. Next, take actions that are aligned with your vision. When making a choice ask yourself, “Is this decision or action aligned with my envisioned identity?”

Repeat every day, and soon you will reignite! If you need more help setting and living your vision, you may enjoy our 90-Day Vision Journal.

If you need help addressing your inner rumbling(s), check out our FREE downloadable worksheet to get started.

As you reflect on a midlife vision, you may enjoy reading two popular blog posts—Take Steps to Reignite Yourself After 50 and Five Ways to Reinvent Your Career— to get you thinking about the changes you want to make.

Can understanding your Enneagram type help you age well?

Kate Ostrem created her business, 9 Open Doors, to share the wisdom of the Enneagram in a practical, down-to-earth way. She loves helping women better understand themselves and others. We wanted to know if learning more about our Enneagram types could help us on our journey to aging well, so we sat down with her for an interview.

We’ve done a lot of personality tests, from Strength Finders to Myers-Brigg during our careers. Each one teaches us a little more about ourselves and gives us a way to think about who we are and why we do what we do. We both are learners, so we find the insights fascinating.

Over the last few years, we’ve noticed more and more people referring to themselves as numbers—one through nine. It definitely sparked our curiosity enough that we both took a free online Enneagram assessment. However, knowing our number, or personality, hasn’t been enough. We wanted a deeper dive into interpreting what our number reveals about our personality and how to use this knowledge to live better. 

We sought out Enneagram Expert and Educator, Kate Ostrem, for an interview. Kate is certified with Anne Mureé and has studied with some of the most prominent thought leaders in the Enneagram community, including Ginger Lapid-Bogda, Russ Hudson, Helen Palmer, Jerry Wagner, and Beatrice Chestnut. She has been an Associate Member of the Enneagram in Business Network and is a former board member of the Minnesota Chapter of the International Enneagram Association.

Kate created her business, 9 Open Doors, to share the wisdom of the Enneagram in a practical, down-to-earth way. She loves helping her clients better understand themselves and others. From a conference in New Zealand to teams in corporate environments to a few close friends in a backyard and everything in between, she teaches the Enneagram in a meaningful way for every audience.

What is the Enneagram? 

The Enneagram is a fascinating, centuries-old personality tool that depicts nine different types to explain the motivation behind how we think, feel, and act. 

Why is knowing your type important? 

Our type has many advantages, but it can also limit us. Once we identify our type, we begin to recognize our patterns and can cultivate the ability to make intentional, conscious choices instead of acting from a place of immediate habit. 

How does knowing your Enneagram type help you better understand your personality tendencies? 

Understanding your type allows you to access a deeper part of who you are. Our type is the result of deeply ingrained patterns which go back decades - recognizing it can lead to the realization that we have other options accessible to us. But first, we need to understand our automatic tendencies and what's behind them. 

How can we use this knowledge to be more intentional about our lives as we age? 

I believe that self-awareness is the key to aging well. The Enneagram frees you from a rigid definition of who you are and what you are capable of and opens your eyes to living fully from a place of wholeness.

Can knowing our Enneagram type help us get along with others better? 

Yes, understanding that we are all operating through our type can help us take things less personally. It can also allow us to make adjustments to our own reactions and responses, which can positively impact our interactions with the people around us.

Can I change my type? 

While our type remains the same all of our lives, what we can do is loosen how tight a hold it has on us.

What can we expect to learn at the Enneagram workshop on October 4? 

For many people, discovering your type is a process that can take a long time. My hope is that our time together on October 4th will spark your curiosity, give you some insight into who you are, and point you in the right direction of learning how your type impacts you on a daily basis. I'm looking forward to it!

Do you want to learn more about your type and how to use it to your advantage? Register for Rumblings’ Enneagram workshop here. 

Seven Great Tips for Finding the Courage to Change During Midlife

‘Courage and daring are coursing through your veins. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen. That’s midlife.’ Brene’ Brown

Midlife is full of change. We experience transitions ranging from kids graduating and starting on their own, caring for aging parents, health issues of our own, becoming grandparents, changing marital status, household moves, and career moves. Not to mention the changes that are happening with our bodies! Some of the changes are wonderful. Others are very messy and complicated. The only constant is the change itself. 

One of the many things the two of us have in common is our strong desire to embrace change. You might even say we intentionally seek it out. As we prepare for a significant announcement for Rumblings representing a giant leap outside our comfort zone, even for us (check our social media and website for more information coming soon), we started thinking about how we approach change. 

The focus of our careers has been helping people navigate through behavior change. We’ve helped individuals change their health behaviors, assisted populations create a culture of wellness, and worked with large companies to transform their approach to improving the health of the people they serve. 

Personally, each of us has always embraced change. Sometimes, we’ve purposefully sought out change, even when life events weren’t requiring it of us. 

How do you move through change in a way that is healthy and develops resiliency? These are a few of the guideposts that we’ve used to help ourselves and others navigate change. 

• Learning to navigate through change is a skill. One of the best ways to build skills is through experience. You’ve been through change before and survived every single time. These skills you’ve developed help you become resilient in the face of change.

• Try to let go of what people think and realize perfectionism is not healthy striving. When you slip, make mistakes, and even fail, give yourself grace. Be mindful of your self-talk by respecting yourself as you would speak to others about making mistakes. It is hard for everyone to show this level of self-love. We tend to live in a world framed by the words “I’m supposed to do this” or “I need to do that” before everything is good in life.

• Spend time reflecting on what is truly important to you. The place to start is for each of us to spend time with ourselves in stillness, whether in nature, walking, reading, yoga, or meditation, to let our inner awareness reveal the things that no longer serve us. Being still, or time relaxing, helps cultivate creativity, reduces stress, and prevents burnout during times of change. 

• Cultivate a learning mindset. A learning mindset might include resetting your mindset to focus on the pleasure you experience from new things you are learning versus what you cannot do right now. It can be challenging to do this while in the middle of change, but it will help you discover the joy of so many new experiences in your life. It could be as simple as identifying what you are grateful for in the new day before your feet touch the floor in the morning. 

• Develop a support system. These are the connections and your community that will stand by you in times of need. They won’t try to fix your problems, try to change you, or minimize what you are going through. Instead, they are the ones in your life that will listen, provide a word of encouragement, a hug, and a reality check that you are not alone. Then, reach out to these people when you’re in need!

• Minimize mindless and numbing behaviors. During times of significant change, we need a temporary respite. Are the activities you’re choosing while taking a break an escape or numbing behaviors? What actions can you select to contribute to your ability to manage through change? Be mindful to choose the activities enhancing your creativity rather than diminishing your mental and physical health. It’s challenging to think about flourishing during times of change, but you can focus on replenishing your spirit. 

• Remember to breathe. Change can be overwhelming, even for those of us who intentionally seek it out. When you start to border on panic, fear, stress, or paralysis, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that you’ve experienced massive change before and made it through in one piece - although perhaps altered mentally or physically. You have what it takes to survive, and you are not alone. 

The reset mindset that change is something to embrace rather than dread may be one of the most important learnings of midlife. The challenges we experience in midlife don’t go away. It’s part of life. The difference comes from understanding that we can no longer carry both the pretend facade we’ve built for the outside world and embrace showing up and giving our true gifts. 

Time is growing short. We have unfulfilled dreams to live and things about ourselves to explore still. Resisting inevitable change prevents us from growing into a life that may be messy and inconvenient but also full of adventure and whole-hearted living. 

Sign-up today to get more information on how to flourish after 50!

Together we Rumble!

Karyn and Rebecca

Website: rumblingsmedia.com

Instagram: @rumblingsmedia

Facebook: @rumblingsmedia

Pinterest: @RumblingsMedia

Live Inside Out: 8 Steps to Be Healthy, Move Beyond Anti-aging, and Age by Design

Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been. ~David Bowie

We’ve been thinking and talking about what it means to be ‘youthful’ recently. We believe that the key to being youthful is to have a long-term, sustained focus on being healthy. Live Inside Out is one of the Rumblings 4 Rocks (foundational principles) to Flourish After 50.

• Go inward to live authentically outward

• Look inside to determine what and how much you eat

• Recognize the joy of the journey

• Eat whole foods, mostly plants

• Be grateful for your body’s capabilities

• Enjoy what you eat and your daily movement without guilt or judgment

• Honor tradition

• Celebrate culture

 Even with our focus on health, we have experienced body changes as we age, such as a slight thickening around the waist, difficulty maintaining our weight, more wrinkles, muscle aches, and symptoms of menopause, to name a few. 

Women discuss the impact of these changes and nostalgic memories of how we looked in our 20s, 30s, and 40s with friends. We share tips and tricks for looking as young as we can - or as good as possible for our age. Yet, there is one part of aging that we may not discuss as commonly—the abundance of messages that our aging bodies are abnormal and we should fix them.

Individuals and organizations are competing for our attention and our money by selling promises of happiness and youthfulness. Their message is, if we conform to the culture of ‘thinness’ to fit in, we will have value and be worthy. It’s as if somehow aging is unnatural or makes us imperfect, so we must succumb and prioritize anti-aging. 

Media bombards us with images of unrealistic and unachievable ideals for a youthful appearance.  It would be hypocritical to imply that things like facials, overpriced skincare, or even injectables and fillers are the enemy. Still, the emphasis that aging is somehow a personal shortcoming or character flaw diminishes our value to what is superficial and appearance-related. 

Yes, our bodies are imperfect, and they sometimes let us down. As we age, our bodies may be less cooperative and cause us to struggle to stay thin and fit, or even simply healthy! 

One of the most beautiful things about aging is the opportunity to shed those superficial expectations of society and the media and instead step into the person we know we have become. 

We don’t need to fight against our bodies as they gracefully do what bodies do - age. Our bodies are not the enemy. The changes during midlife don’t make us diminished, less relevant, or even disgusting. 

There are social movements focused on body inclusion, body positivity, realistic weight, and promoting physical strength for girls. It’s now time for a movement of accepting aging too. 

We can shape the future of societal norms surrounding aging, particularly in women. We can demonstrate by example that our worth as we age is not defined by unrealistic and unattainable superficial beauty standards any more than it should be for our younger daughters, granddaughters, and nieces. 

We don’t have to accept aging trends focused on how we look, how we dress, our skincare, and our makeup routines. We can age by design, in our way, as we choose. 

If we focus our efforts instead on the approach to Live Inside Out, we can not only be grateful for our body’s capabilities; we can take that next step and embrace the process of fully stepping into the person we were becoming all along. 

Embrace all of the lumps, bumps, and wrinkles that represent a well-lived life. We have come by all of these ‘imperfections’ naturally - and they are perfect. We are creating and becoming a ‘well being’ - a healthy, inside and out human body, one that is more than our physical appearance. 

Our main goal should be to be healthy in a whole-person way, not to stay looking young, but to live well. Life is good, and midlife is the middle, not the end. It’s a new season that we can design to thrive and flourish. 

Living inside-out is a sustainable well-being approach and is the real pro-aging ‘secret’ for feeling youthful and thriving after 50!

To learn more about the Rumblings 4 Rocks (foundational principles) to flourish after 50 and receive tips, tools, and techniques to thrive, sign-up today.

Discover 5 New Techniques to Improve Your Mind-Body Connection to Live Well After 50

As we’ve aged, advertising and marketing messages told women we could have it all. Unfortunately, as a result, we felt we needed to do it all.

Instead of empowering women, our society normalized simultaneously working tirelessly, raising kids, taking care of parents, juggling family schedules, keeping up the home perfectly, and being superwoman 24/7. 

For many of us, reaching 50 was the moment we asked if there was more to life, if we needed time for ourselves, or wondered if we had a purpose beyond family and work. It's not that we don't love our children, careers, or our families. We have a rumbling that there might be more for us individually in the next half of life. 

However, as women have more power than ever, we have found ourselves powerless to manage some of the messy transitions that brought us to midlife.

Transitions are different for each of us. We can all relate to significant milestones at this stage in our lives - kids leaving home, aging parents, job transitions, or divorce. The reality is that messy midlife transitions are a part of all of our lives. 

You’re not alone. We can use practical tips, tools, and techniques to rethink our rhythm for living well after 50 to understand better how to decouple our experiences, patterns, and beliefs from our approach to handling life stressors and tumultuous times. 

A group of Rumblings women came together virtually with Shelly Melroe, MS, AS, LMFT, owner of Rhythm for Living Therapy & Counseling, to learn how to resync our mind-body connections. We discussed finding compassion for our unbreakable habits, negative self-talk, and limiting beliefs we bring into midlife that may be preventing a healthy mind-body connection and authentic journey into midlife. 

We all have patterns and habits for reacting and dealing with difficult or uncomfortable situations. We may not realize that those patterns and habits stem from our beliefs about ourselves that we deeply imprinted from our life experiences. Some of these experiences can date back to when we were infants and impact how we assess a situation or interpersonal exchange and how safe we feel as adults. 

Most often, these patterns come out as automatic physical responses when we encounter an uncomfortable situation. That body sensation could be a dry tight throat, heart palpitations, a voice that cracks or raises, cold hands, a need to fidget, or even flushing of the neck or face. These emotions or feelings may build-up for some women until they eventually spill over in a fight or flight response. Others may completely shut down in an attempt to remove themselves from the situation, and it may lead eventually to an outburst. 

We've all experienced these body sensations, but what we may not know is we can recognize these body responses and use the energy differently, in a healthier way. Recognition will help us break the cycle and stop impulsively and unconsciously repeating the same patterns shaped by our beliefs and life experiences. 

Our beliefs aren't something we consciously choose.

Beliefs evolve from our upbringing and how people interacted with us. They are part of human development. We learn through our interactions with others. Our beliefs shape how we perceive our relative importance compared to others. We realized what was safe and what was most honest in the world. 

We rarely think of our beliefs, even when they impact our daily lives through negative self-talk. Talk that may include thoughts like, 'I can't go back to school.’ 'I'm not fit enough, or 'my skin isn't smooth enough. 'I don't deserve to go on that trip.’ 'I don't deserve that new sweater.’ These beliefs about who we are, especially those put on us by others, are insidious and subtle and the most damaging. They come out as second nature, with little thoughts creeping in the back of our minds as we go about our day – even when we believe ourselves to be very confident. And each time we repeat this pattern of negative self-talk, it further ingrains our beliefs and habits within us and adds layers on top of our emotions.

That voice inside our head seems to get louder and louder as we get older, along with a fear that we're admitting we need help or are not satisfied if we bring it up. Instead, we may need to recognize that perhaps we can't do it, don't have it all together, or are exhausted after all these years of appearing to juggle everything effortlessly.  And, that’s ok. These are the fundamental and often real messy life experiences. 

What can we do about the negative self-talk? Can we change it? Can we do something differently? Are we getting in our own way? 

There are many approaches to working with and modifying our beliefs to align with how we want to react, learn, and grow during our life transitions, who we want to be in midlife, and what we want to accomplish in our prime time. 

Once we recognize these limiting beliefs, we can name the emotions behind them and begin to tame and reframe them into a reaction that helps us achieve a more positive outcome. It requires going deep within ourselves to get in touch with the emotions we experience. Next, recognize what caused the emotion. By understanding where that emotion originated, we can try to reframe it. 

It begins with hanging onto your thought and remembering, whatever you are experiencing or whatever your self-judgment, maybe it got there naturally and honestly from your life experiences. Thoughts can stem from wounds dating back to childhood. You may have developed protective mechanisms in situations to help you feel safe. You do have the ability to heal these old wounds. The desired outcome is to resync your emotions with your thinking and with your body and integrate them. 

Resyncing emotions allows us to reframe our beliefs, patterns, and habits. We can find the space to be secure in managing messy transitions in a way that opens up possibilities to grow, learn, and take advantage of opportunities that come our way in our personal and professional lives. Midlife gives us a chance to reimagine and reignite who we are and what we want from this life. Each of us has a story, and it may shape us, but we can separate ourselves and our sense of who we are from it. Our stories and our history do not define us. 

Below are some of the skills that we can work on to help us navigate a new way of harnessing the power of a healthy mind/body connection. Start with small changes to find an untapped spaciousness to open our emotional circuits and walk into the authentic power within each of us.

• Recognize your emotions: Learn how to reconnect with your body and accept your current habits and beliefs by examining your emotions. Be aware of the feeling. What are the physical clues you have happening in your body and your sensations? What are you aware of or thinking? What state are you in during the moment? When you begin to recognize these emotions, you can start to engage with yourself. You can also begin to connect with others very naturally. Become more open. You can start this by journaling your emotions and patterned responses and the energy you noticed as you became aware of that pattern. 

• Name your emotions: Get up close and personal with your current rhythm - learn how to go into an empowered and healthy emotional state more naturally. Learn to name the emotions you're feeling. Try to connect to the emotional side of yourself. Begin to name those emotions as you're experiencing them or when you're holding them back. Be graceful with yourself and acknowledge that there is no benefit to judgment. You're experiencing that emotional state because it's something important to you. 

• Experience your emotions: Feel the rhythm with your emotions. Bring awareness to your emotions and thoughts so that you can change the limiting beliefs and habits that may be holding you back. Learn to tame the emotions by allowing yourself to experience them. Begin to understand if you tend to go into a hyperarousal state or if you tend to shut down in uncomfortable situations. What are the thoughts (beliefs), movements (habits), body sensations, and emotions you feel? Do you take a position of blaming others, or do you feel sadness, shame, helplessness, anger, disappointment, frustration, or vulnerability? 

  Eventually, you'll be able to harness that energy more positively if you can avoid the natural fight or flight tendency (e.g., avoiding what you’re feeling). Start with a PAUSE where you allow yourself to sit with or even step into the emotions. Doing this is difficult, but it gives you space to move away from autopilot so you can change your existing beliefs and habits by integrating the information you're receiving into your thinking and decision-making. 

• Reframe your response aligned with your values. By sitting with your emotions, you’ll experience an inner fire on the other side. By learning to tap into this empowered state, you’ll experience courage, compassion, and clarity with your emotions as your energy source. New energy allows you to reframe your response because you created space for yourself. When you are predominantly in your empowerment state, courage, compassion, and clarity will come naturally. Your emotions become the guide for your passions, desires, and values. You can begin to tap into this empowered state with a meditation or mindfulness practice that includes a body and emotion scan. It means we don't fight, flee, or shut down but show up to the experience in different ways. We can be more curious if that reflects who we are or if we get pulled into it because of our story. It becomes a place to start connecting emotionally to examine the type of energy that occurs when you recognize you could feel safe in the rhythm of the situation.

• Enjoy a new rhythm for living. By having an integrated daily rhythm, you create a complete integration with your mind and body. You have a new daily rhythm for living that is more aware, with different behaviors, positive thoughts, and more integrated. You begin to accept current habits and beliefs and even start to use them to tap into an empowered state of courage, compassion, and clarity with your emotions as your energy source. When you’re intentional with your feelings, rather than acting out of impulse, you create a more natural, healthy, and connected state for yourself. You can have harmony in your differences with others and even use those differences for growth. 

Coming into midlife is our chance to learn and consciously decide where we want to go next in our lives, how we want to grow, and how we show up for ourselves and those who matter most to us. Midlife is an opportunity to embrace our inner selves, become more integrated, and live well.

Let’s take advantage of our capacity to move through messy midlife transitions, let go of old ways of being, and reignite our journey to flourish after 50. 

How to Use Your Brain to Age Well and Stay Young

We all have the capacity to be fluid or fixed in our mindset. The growth path is to be adaptable to certain situations - to allow ourselves to be moved and changed due to our environment, experiences, and creative process. A fluid mindset creates new brain pathways leading to success, improves creativity, and helps growth, which will enable us to deal with the uncertainty ahead.

This past year has been a rollercoaster, full of highs and lows co-existing in a new definition of our human experience none of us were expecting. It’s lasted longer than most of us ever imagined.  

None of us has a crystal ball to know what the future holds, but it seems more unclear now than ever. Not knowing what’s coming next, nor how to plan for it and predict even the near future in any reasonable way, can be frightening and frustrating at the same time. 

It may feel as if time is standing still, but change is happening around us. In some aspects, change is accelerating. Without realizing it, this past year, we’ve also been gaining the skills and tools we need to reframe our plans for the future and redefine what that will look like, no matter how uncertain that future may be. 

In our last blog post, we shared how to become aware of unconscious cognitive biases that impact what we perceive, how we think, and what actions we take. 

As we begin to understand our unconscious biases and start reshaping our perspectives, decisions, and behaviors, our mindset begins to shift. Becoming aware of our preferences and shifting our mindset allows growth to occur, which will enable us to deal with the uncertainty ahead. We will have the fortitude to persevere in the face of the fear that comes with the unknown.

Below are just a few of the mindset reset types emerging from a growing body of research into the social science and neuroscience of how our brains work. Becoming familiar with them can help change our thinking and identify behaviors we’d like to modify.

Abundance vs. Scarcity - An abundance mindset focuses on the possibilities of what could be, resulting in feeling hopeful, grateful, and fulfilled. It begins with believing that we are enough. With that sense of being enough, we can embrace our worthiness, create boundaries, and be more fully engaged. It opens us up to be willing to be more present, allowing us to show up more fully and authentically. It requires vulnerability. 

A scarcity mindset is a notion that there is never enough, or worse, that we are not enough. This scarcity mindset can ultimately lead to internalizing our worthiness compared to others. Brene’ Brown describes scarcity as being the opposite of enough. Before we even get out of bed in the morning, our self-talk focuses on assessing and comparing ourselves to others - “I didn’t get enough sleep.” “I’m not _____ enough.” “Remember when?”. 

We all struggle with being open and vulnerable and wrestle with the self-doubt that comes from wanting to shield ourselves and fall back into a scarcity mindset. It takes awareness and continual practice to cultivate an abundance mindset. 

Growth vs. Fixed - The belief that mental abilities decline during aging is evolving. It turns out, peak mental age is later than believed, especially if we view our prime time years as an opportunity to reinvent and develop new interests. Creative capacity exponentially increases by pushing boundaries and learning new things by creating new neural pathways and causing our brains to change, no matter our age. Our brains also have excellent muscle memory from past experiences and knowledge that can help us master new challenges more quickly. When we continue to experiment, learn, and experience new things, our creativity compounds, especially in our later years. 

The challenge is the brain tries to be as efficient as possible and has a natural tendency to take the path of least resistance in our thinking processes. It has a preference for sticking with what is most comfortable. When we allow ourselves to give in to those tendencies to give up easily, avoid risks, and stop trying during the challenging parts of learning new skills, is where we succumb to a fixed mindset — we’re too old to change, or it’s not worth trying because it won’t matter. 

Infinite vs. Finite - A limitless mindset calls for continual growth and improvement. There is no end. The fulfillment comes from the journey and challenging yourself to become better. An infinite mindset applies to learning, leading, being healthy, and those things where it’s vital to strive constantly to stay in the game or participate in the journey. It’s about advancing something bigger than ourselves - we will never get there, but even so, we continue striving forward. We can have a finite goal to know we are making progress - such as a weight-loss or fitness goal, but striving for good health and well-being is an infinite mindset. We don’t reach an end and stop; health is a journey.

When we get caught up in a limiting or finite mindset, we can get stuck in repeating negative self-talk or thinking through the worst scenarios and outcomes. But those ‘what if’ statements that we play in our minds can go both ways. More recent science suggests that our brains are not only malleable and can change but have the ability to develop new pathways. 

Accepting change can be challenging, mainly because it requires action and growth. Resisting change almost always comes out of a transition from something happy and pleasant, or at least comfortable. Change may be uncomfortable and unpredictable. Given that change is inevitable, it is time to embrace change, see it as an opportunity for growth, and understand that the process is essential for brain health.

There are steps to can take to reframe how we experience change. These actions may help our head and heart surrender to embrace the natural discomfort that results:

1. Remember the reality that change is constant and inevitable. We go through change on average every 12-18 months. It’s a natural process.

2. Run through future scenarios and work them out in our head, using the negative ‘what ifs’ as an opportunity to make mistakes in your head so we can avoid them in real life. Then pivot and also play out ‘what if’ scenarios that may result in a positive outcome. 

3. Reflect on the benefit of age and experiences. Think about times you’ve embraced change and how you grew as a result. Remember, over time, we tend to gloss over the more painful struggles and hurt and remember the good memories and the growth we gained from change. You have survived change 100 percent of the time. 

By reflecting on our past experiences, it is almost always the more challenging times and events that lead to more meaningful progress in life. The past year’s challenges can be a tremendous opportunity to transition and have the potential to bring a new way of being in this world if we’re open to it. 

At Rumblings, we believe our prime years and our best accomplishments are still ahead of us. We also believe that to achieve our goals and make our dreams a reality, abundance, growth, and infinite mindsets are critical. 

Yes, change is accelerating, but perhaps one of the learnings from this pandemic is that it gave us the tools that we desperately needed -  time for stillness and going inside ourselves so that we can have a fresh look at the world around us. The deeper insights we gain, combined with our wisdom, allow us to more carefully curate the change and the dreams we have for our lives. 

The fortitude to persevere is the cousin to confidence - it is what comes from creating new brain pathways that lead to consistent success at achieving goals. We have the wisdom of our life experiences from which to pull. There is power in that knowledge gained from our experiences, especially when we realize we’re not yet fully formed. We can only open ourselves to this potential if we consistently choose the more open mindsets and build confidence in our capacity for change. 

We will all have doubts. It’s a constant reframing practice, pulling ourselves away from the negative ‘what ifs,’ self-talk, catching ourselves sooner, and gaining strength in our abilities. That is part of creating new pathways in our brains and developing new patterns of thinking and behaviors. 

Brain malleability is learning from doing and developing new muscle memory. You can pull from that to form mastery gained from your previous muscle memory and experiences. Building from previous experiences to create even more pathways is the key to a long, fulfilling, and prosperous life quality in your later years. 

Do the work. You’re growing and learning. More than ever, now is your time to shine and share your unique gifts. 

Together we Rumble!

Karyn and Rebecca