Midlife Transitions and Challenges: A Call for a Renewed Vision

You feel a “rumbling” inside yourself that your life should be different from what it is right now. 

You’re not alone. 

One thing many midlife women have in common is the experience of an internal rumbling—a feeling something should be different or something needs to change. It may be hard to pinpoint where the discomfort comes from, but you feel an unsettling rising internally. 

This feeling could be the need for a change in your career, where you’re spending your time, how you’re taking care of yourself, who you socialize alongside, or how you experience fun. 

Whatever the cause…it is time to listen. 

Midlife is a time of transitions—kids are leaving home, friendships are evolving, careers are changing, parents are aging and need help, disease risks are rising, and bodies are aging. You’re not alone in feeling like you’re going through the motions, taking care of others, and postponing self-care during this time. As a result, you may feel tired, distracted, sleep-deprived, and lacking energy. 

The excellent news is…you’ve got this! You can reignite and flourish with a little focus, intention, and consistency. 

Here’s the thing, your old identity may be holding you back and sabotaging the future YOU. You may be stuck in old behaviors that are not aligned with who you are in midlife or who you want to be. You may be comparing your 20-, 30 -or 40-year-old self to your current self and unintentionally holding yourself back from living well now. 

“True behavior change is identity change.” – James Clear, author of Atomic Habits.

To create change, you must change your underlying beliefs about yourself and how you want to live. 

Your current beliefs and actions are a reflection of your current identity. Internal stories and limiting beliefs may be holding you back from living the life you envision. The rumbling you’re experiencing is most likely a reflection of an inner identity conflict—you want one thing, but your actions aren’t aligned. 

The best way to start feeling differently is to start living differently is to stop and reflect on your current beliefs, worldview, self-image, how you see others, and your biases. This is often referred to as your identity. 

Next, it’s time to reimagine a vision for your future self. 

You can do this by moving through the following steps: 

1. Close your eyes

2. Take a few deep breaths

3. Ask yourself:

• What is your vision for your life five years from now?

• What do you want to be doing and experiencing?

• Who do you want to be experiencing your life with?

• What brings you joy?

• What memories do you want to be making?

• How do you want your loved ones to remember you?

• How do you want your body to feel? Don’t focus on your appearance, but how do you want your body to FEEL?

• What energy do you want to be radiating? What energy and vitality do you want to put into the world?

• How do you want people to feel when they’re around you?

• How will you show up for yourself and your loved ones?

• Now think about ten, twenty, and thirty years from now. Does your vision change?

• What do you want your life to look like, and how do you want your body to feel and be capable of doing?

4. When you’re ready, write your thoughts, feelings, and vision down.

5. Repeat this exercise several times over the next few weeks to help you reframe and revise your midlife vision.

You are the architect of your life. To live your new vision, you must first let go of your old behaviors that are out of alignment. 

It’s time to start living your vision. 

1. Every day review your vision. Envision yourself living your dream. Immerse yourself in how you feel when your daily life aligns with your vision. Your brain will respond when you regularly visualize how you want to live. 

2. Next, take actions that are aligned with your vision. When making a choice ask yourself, “Is this decision or action aligned with my envisioned identity?”

Repeat every day, and soon you will reignite! If you need more help setting and living your vision, you may enjoy our 90-Day Vision Journal.

If you need help addressing your inner rumbling(s), check out our FREE downloadable worksheet to get started.

As you reflect on a midlife vision, you may enjoy reading two popular blog posts—Take Steps to Reignite Yourself After 50 and Five Ways to Reinvent Your Career— to get you thinking about the changes you want to make.

Seven Great Tips for Finding the Courage to Change During Midlife

‘Courage and daring are coursing through your veins. You were made to live and love with your whole heart. It’s time to show up and be seen. That’s midlife.’ Brene’ Brown

Midlife is full of change. We experience transitions ranging from kids graduating and starting on their own, caring for aging parents, health issues of our own, becoming grandparents, changing marital status, household moves, and career moves. Not to mention the changes that are happening with our bodies! Some of the changes are wonderful. Others are very messy and complicated. The only constant is the change itself. 

One of the many things the two of us have in common is our strong desire to embrace change. You might even say we intentionally seek it out. As we prepare for a significant announcement for Rumblings representing a giant leap outside our comfort zone, even for us (check our social media and website for more information coming soon), we started thinking about how we approach change. 

The focus of our careers has been helping people navigate through behavior change. We’ve helped individuals change their health behaviors, assisted populations create a culture of wellness, and worked with large companies to transform their approach to improving the health of the people they serve. 

Personally, each of us has always embraced change. Sometimes, we’ve purposefully sought out change, even when life events weren’t requiring it of us. 

How do you move through change in a way that is healthy and develops resiliency? These are a few of the guideposts that we’ve used to help ourselves and others navigate change. 

• Learning to navigate through change is a skill. One of the best ways to build skills is through experience. You’ve been through change before and survived every single time. These skills you’ve developed help you become resilient in the face of change.

• Try to let go of what people think and realize perfectionism is not healthy striving. When you slip, make mistakes, and even fail, give yourself grace. Be mindful of your self-talk by respecting yourself as you would speak to others about making mistakes. It is hard for everyone to show this level of self-love. We tend to live in a world framed by the words “I’m supposed to do this” or “I need to do that” before everything is good in life.

• Spend time reflecting on what is truly important to you. The place to start is for each of us to spend time with ourselves in stillness, whether in nature, walking, reading, yoga, or meditation, to let our inner awareness reveal the things that no longer serve us. Being still, or time relaxing, helps cultivate creativity, reduces stress, and prevents burnout during times of change. 

• Cultivate a learning mindset. A learning mindset might include resetting your mindset to focus on the pleasure you experience from new things you are learning versus what you cannot do right now. It can be challenging to do this while in the middle of change, but it will help you discover the joy of so many new experiences in your life. It could be as simple as identifying what you are grateful for in the new day before your feet touch the floor in the morning. 

• Develop a support system. These are the connections and your community that will stand by you in times of need. They won’t try to fix your problems, try to change you, or minimize what you are going through. Instead, they are the ones in your life that will listen, provide a word of encouragement, a hug, and a reality check that you are not alone. Then, reach out to these people when you’re in need!

• Minimize mindless and numbing behaviors. During times of significant change, we need a temporary respite. Are the activities you’re choosing while taking a break an escape or numbing behaviors? What actions can you select to contribute to your ability to manage through change? Be mindful to choose the activities enhancing your creativity rather than diminishing your mental and physical health. It’s challenging to think about flourishing during times of change, but you can focus on replenishing your spirit. 

• Remember to breathe. Change can be overwhelming, even for those of us who intentionally seek it out. When you start to border on panic, fear, stress, or paralysis, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that you’ve experienced massive change before and made it through in one piece - although perhaps altered mentally or physically. You have what it takes to survive, and you are not alone. 

The reset mindset that change is something to embrace rather than dread may be one of the most important learnings of midlife. The challenges we experience in midlife don’t go away. It’s part of life. The difference comes from understanding that we can no longer carry both the pretend facade we’ve built for the outside world and embrace showing up and giving our true gifts. 

Time is growing short. We have unfulfilled dreams to live and things about ourselves to explore still. Resisting inevitable change prevents us from growing into a life that may be messy and inconvenient but also full of adventure and whole-hearted living. 

Sign-up today to get more information on how to flourish after 50!

Together we Rumble!

Karyn and Rebecca

Website: rumblingsmedia.com

Instagram: @rumblingsmedia

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Reduce Stress and Improve Happiness: 14 Great Books to Read This Summer

One of the most inspiring perks of being partners in Rumblings is sharing what we’re reading with each other. Our text message chain is a volley of must-read recommendations. Often our business meeting conversations get distracted by sharing inspiration we’re having based on a book we’ve read. 

There is still something magical and simple about a book. The power to evoke an emotion, inspire action, ignite creativity, showcase diverse views, motivate change, and transport us to a different place and time through written language is a great gift. 

As lifelong learners, we both have been avid readers. Still, this past year has brought diversity in our reading and added fiction back into a routine that has previously prioritized nonfiction, professional books. What’s interesting — and maybe a little counterintuitive — is that reading fiction can contribute to overall well-being. 

Reading fiction is uniquely powerful in helping us imagine stories that activate regions of our brains responsible for better understanding others and seeing the world from a new perspective. Studies have shown that reading fiction can help us:

• Develop our imagination

• Build skills to be alone

• Be more empathetic

• Reduce stress (reading puts our brains in a similar state to meditation, eliciting the benefits of deep relaxation and inner calm)

• Experience slower memory loss and mental decline

• Develop a broader vocabulary

• Makes us happier

Although we've expanded our library to include digital and even audiobooks, evidence suggests that reading on paper increases comprehension and helps induce sleep due to being visually less demanding and less distracting, and lacking light-emitting screens. 

Health benefits aside, our biggest challenge is getting through our extensive list of “to-read” books. 

Whichever preference you have for reading, we thought we’d share what’s on our summer reading list. 

90 Seconds to a Life You Love: How to Master Your Difficult Feelings to Cultivate Lasting Confidence, Resilience, and Authenticity by Joan I. Rosenberg

All the Devils are Here by Lisa Penny 

Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate 

Cleaning Up Your Mental Mess: 5 Simple, Scientifically Proven Steps to Reduce Anxiety, Stress, and Toxic Thinking by Dr. Caroline Leaf

Finding Freedom: A Cook’s Story Remaking A Life From Scratch by Erin French

How the Word is Passed: A Reckoning with the History of Slavery Across America by Clint Smith 

Somebody’s Daughter by Ashley C. Ford 

Ten Poems series by Roger Housden 

The Monkeewrench series by P.J. Tracy

The Alice Network by Kate Quinn

The Gift: 12 Lessons to Save Your Life by Edith Eger

Think Again by Adam Grant

Universal Human by Gary Zukav

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens

What’s on your summer reading list? We’d love to hear what books are inspiring you and what you’re learning. Please share with us at  Rumblings Media or via social media with the hashtag #flourishafter50. 

Please support your local library or small independent bookstores whenever possible. 

Sign-up today to get more information on how to flourish after 50!

Together we Rumble!

Karyn and Rebecca

14 Ways to Find Joy in Your Diet

In 2012, my husband and I (Rebecca) challenged ourselves to go 100% vegan for one month. To be honest, when I committed, I didn’t eat a lot of meat. Dave, on the other hand, enjoyed meat, eggs, and dairy foods. As you can imagine, his vegan eating pattern lasted less than two weeks. Mine lasted over seven years.  However, I have to admit I was never comfortable calling myself vegan. I preferred to say I mainly ate plants, vegetarian with no dairy, or 90% vegan. 

Why was I hesitant to self-identify as a vegan? I’ve always loved all aspects of food — growing, preparing, eating, and experiencing the taste, smell, and textures. I grew up traveling, and part of experiencing and appreciating other cultures always included the food. For example, when I traveled to Canada, I tried poutine, and when in Scotland, haggis. My family trips growing up included visits to local markets and joining local food tours. Now, I design and share similar adventures with my children, such as sampling various types of tacos and agua frescas from local vendors on the streets of Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

For me, identifying and following one diet fad or way of eating such as vegan, paleo, Whole 30, Atkins, or gluten-free meant saying no to a valued experience. It also meant feeling like a fraud or diet imposter if I broke from the strict diet philosophy. 

As I’ve moved throughout my career, I’ve seen diets come and go, and the diet feuds only get worse. Individuals with strong food identities constantly fight online about which ideology has more scientific merit, extends life, or best fends off disease. In reality, and rarely mentioned, these ways of eating have far more principles in common (more fruits, vegetables, and fiber and limited ultra-processed foods) than conflicting advice (meat and dairy types and quantity recommendations). As a result of the fighting, many people are confused, fed up, disconnected, and feel like failures because they haven’t been able to comply with one or more of these restrictive eating regimens.

I am not saying that following a specific dietary pattern won’t have personal benefits for individuals. I’ve seen people lose weight, improve blood pressure, reduce blood cholesterol levels, improve blood sugars, and feel better by modifying what and how much they eat. I firmly believe in the health benefits of food — especially fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds, and whole grains. I also understand the medical necessity to limit foods for specific allergies or chronic diseases.  

At the same time, I strongly believe in the mental and social benefits of coming around the table to share a meal with family, friends, colleagues, and strangers. Something magical happens when we eat together and fill our souls with nourishing foods. We may be restricting joy in our lives when we are so strongly attached to a certain dietary pattern, believe recommendations are rules that if broken equal failure, or refuse to see the value in other approaches to eating. 

Are your food rules limiting your potential to experience joy from food or eating experiences?

Circle the statements below you practice. 

• I am open to trying new foods even if I am unfamiliar with the ingredients 

• I don’t feel guilty if I stray from my usual way of eating

• I accept invitations to social events even if I know I won’t be able to find foods within my typical eating style

• I don’t preach the benefits of the way I eat to others without them asking

• I try foods from other cultures even if they don’t align with my preferred eating pattern

• I eat and enjoy foods at holidays and family events that are considered family traditions even if they aren’t consistent with my diet rules

• I prioritize eating foods that are high quality and nourishing over foods that strictly comply with a certain diet pattern

• I understand that prescriptive eating patterns are merely a guide for choosing foods for good health, and understand that choosing foods outside of the recommendations will not derail an overall healthy diet

• I look for ways to find commonalities in eating patterns instead of denouncing the value of the food choices other people make 

• I understand that eating for health and well-being includes enjoying food, experiencing culture, and celebrating with family traditions

• I know that a single food or meal will not ruin or break any diet rules

• I don’t avoid eating categories of macronutrients such as carbohydrates or fats

• I realize a healthful eating pattern for me may differ from someone else 

• I understand that what and how much food my body needs may change as I age due to my activity level and body composition, and I am ok with that

Review the list. Did you leave statements uncircled? These may be areas of opportunity for you to modify and discover more joy in eating. 

As I’ve aged, I have to say I am tired of the all-or-nothing approach to eating. I don’t want to restrict the enjoyment out of my life by following a rigid eating pattern. Although I follow a plant-based eating pattern most of the time, I want to be able to dine with friends, travel, and enjoy a good meal without feeling stressed that I am breaking diet rules, if I try something unusual. I don’t want to feel guilty or not a part of a particular tribe as a result of the food choices I make. 

We live in a diet culture. We are experiencing a time of divisiveness where picking teams is more common than styling our lives in ways that bring us joy. As we enter the prime time of our lives, let’s focus on joy and re-design our lives to live fully and authentically. 

Instead of challenging you with yet a new diet for flourishing after 50, I challenge you to loosen the reins and seek joy in the experience of eating well without strict food rules. 

Rumble on! 

Discover 5 New Techniques to Improve Your Mind-Body Connection to Live Well After 50

As we’ve aged, advertising and marketing messages told women we could have it all. Unfortunately, as a result, we felt we needed to do it all.

Instead of empowering women, our society normalized simultaneously working tirelessly, raising kids, taking care of parents, juggling family schedules, keeping up the home perfectly, and being superwoman 24/7. 

For many of us, reaching 50 was the moment we asked if there was more to life, if we needed time for ourselves, or wondered if we had a purpose beyond family and work. It's not that we don't love our children, careers, or our families. We have a rumbling that there might be more for us individually in the next half of life. 

However, as women have more power than ever, we have found ourselves powerless to manage some of the messy transitions that brought us to midlife.

Transitions are different for each of us. We can all relate to significant milestones at this stage in our lives - kids leaving home, aging parents, job transitions, or divorce. The reality is that messy midlife transitions are a part of all of our lives. 

You’re not alone. We can use practical tips, tools, and techniques to rethink our rhythm for living well after 50 to understand better how to decouple our experiences, patterns, and beliefs from our approach to handling life stressors and tumultuous times. 

A group of Rumblings women came together virtually with Shelly Melroe, MS, AS, LMFT, owner of Rhythm for Living Therapy & Counseling, to learn how to resync our mind-body connections. We discussed finding compassion for our unbreakable habits, negative self-talk, and limiting beliefs we bring into midlife that may be preventing a healthy mind-body connection and authentic journey into midlife. 

We all have patterns and habits for reacting and dealing with difficult or uncomfortable situations. We may not realize that those patterns and habits stem from our beliefs about ourselves that we deeply imprinted from our life experiences. Some of these experiences can date back to when we were infants and impact how we assess a situation or interpersonal exchange and how safe we feel as adults. 

Most often, these patterns come out as automatic physical responses when we encounter an uncomfortable situation. That body sensation could be a dry tight throat, heart palpitations, a voice that cracks or raises, cold hands, a need to fidget, or even flushing of the neck or face. These emotions or feelings may build-up for some women until they eventually spill over in a fight or flight response. Others may completely shut down in an attempt to remove themselves from the situation, and it may lead eventually to an outburst. 

We've all experienced these body sensations, but what we may not know is we can recognize these body responses and use the energy differently, in a healthier way. Recognition will help us break the cycle and stop impulsively and unconsciously repeating the same patterns shaped by our beliefs and life experiences. 

Our beliefs aren't something we consciously choose.

Beliefs evolve from our upbringing and how people interacted with us. They are part of human development. We learn through our interactions with others. Our beliefs shape how we perceive our relative importance compared to others. We realized what was safe and what was most honest in the world. 

We rarely think of our beliefs, even when they impact our daily lives through negative self-talk. Talk that may include thoughts like, 'I can't go back to school.’ 'I'm not fit enough, or 'my skin isn't smooth enough. 'I don't deserve to go on that trip.’ 'I don't deserve that new sweater.’ These beliefs about who we are, especially those put on us by others, are insidious and subtle and the most damaging. They come out as second nature, with little thoughts creeping in the back of our minds as we go about our day – even when we believe ourselves to be very confident. And each time we repeat this pattern of negative self-talk, it further ingrains our beliefs and habits within us and adds layers on top of our emotions.

That voice inside our head seems to get louder and louder as we get older, along with a fear that we're admitting we need help or are not satisfied if we bring it up. Instead, we may need to recognize that perhaps we can't do it, don't have it all together, or are exhausted after all these years of appearing to juggle everything effortlessly.  And, that’s ok. These are the fundamental and often real messy life experiences. 

What can we do about the negative self-talk? Can we change it? Can we do something differently? Are we getting in our own way? 

There are many approaches to working with and modifying our beliefs to align with how we want to react, learn, and grow during our life transitions, who we want to be in midlife, and what we want to accomplish in our prime time. 

Once we recognize these limiting beliefs, we can name the emotions behind them and begin to tame and reframe them into a reaction that helps us achieve a more positive outcome. It requires going deep within ourselves to get in touch with the emotions we experience. Next, recognize what caused the emotion. By understanding where that emotion originated, we can try to reframe it. 

It begins with hanging onto your thought and remembering, whatever you are experiencing or whatever your self-judgment, maybe it got there naturally and honestly from your life experiences. Thoughts can stem from wounds dating back to childhood. You may have developed protective mechanisms in situations to help you feel safe. You do have the ability to heal these old wounds. The desired outcome is to resync your emotions with your thinking and with your body and integrate them. 

Resyncing emotions allows us to reframe our beliefs, patterns, and habits. We can find the space to be secure in managing messy transitions in a way that opens up possibilities to grow, learn, and take advantage of opportunities that come our way in our personal and professional lives. Midlife gives us a chance to reimagine and reignite who we are and what we want from this life. Each of us has a story, and it may shape us, but we can separate ourselves and our sense of who we are from it. Our stories and our history do not define us. 

Below are some of the skills that we can work on to help us navigate a new way of harnessing the power of a healthy mind/body connection. Start with small changes to find an untapped spaciousness to open our emotional circuits and walk into the authentic power within each of us.

• Recognize your emotions: Learn how to reconnect with your body and accept your current habits and beliefs by examining your emotions. Be aware of the feeling. What are the physical clues you have happening in your body and your sensations? What are you aware of or thinking? What state are you in during the moment? When you begin to recognize these emotions, you can start to engage with yourself. You can also begin to connect with others very naturally. Become more open. You can start this by journaling your emotions and patterned responses and the energy you noticed as you became aware of that pattern. 

• Name your emotions: Get up close and personal with your current rhythm - learn how to go into an empowered and healthy emotional state more naturally. Learn to name the emotions you're feeling. Try to connect to the emotional side of yourself. Begin to name those emotions as you're experiencing them or when you're holding them back. Be graceful with yourself and acknowledge that there is no benefit to judgment. You're experiencing that emotional state because it's something important to you. 

• Experience your emotions: Feel the rhythm with your emotions. Bring awareness to your emotions and thoughts so that you can change the limiting beliefs and habits that may be holding you back. Learn to tame the emotions by allowing yourself to experience them. Begin to understand if you tend to go into a hyperarousal state or if you tend to shut down in uncomfortable situations. What are the thoughts (beliefs), movements (habits), body sensations, and emotions you feel? Do you take a position of blaming others, or do you feel sadness, shame, helplessness, anger, disappointment, frustration, or vulnerability? 

  Eventually, you'll be able to harness that energy more positively if you can avoid the natural fight or flight tendency (e.g., avoiding what you’re feeling). Start with a PAUSE where you allow yourself to sit with or even step into the emotions. Doing this is difficult, but it gives you space to move away from autopilot so you can change your existing beliefs and habits by integrating the information you're receiving into your thinking and decision-making. 

• Reframe your response aligned with your values. By sitting with your emotions, you’ll experience an inner fire on the other side. By learning to tap into this empowered state, you’ll experience courage, compassion, and clarity with your emotions as your energy source. New energy allows you to reframe your response because you created space for yourself. When you are predominantly in your empowerment state, courage, compassion, and clarity will come naturally. Your emotions become the guide for your passions, desires, and values. You can begin to tap into this empowered state with a meditation or mindfulness practice that includes a body and emotion scan. It means we don't fight, flee, or shut down but show up to the experience in different ways. We can be more curious if that reflects who we are or if we get pulled into it because of our story. It becomes a place to start connecting emotionally to examine the type of energy that occurs when you recognize you could feel safe in the rhythm of the situation.

• Enjoy a new rhythm for living. By having an integrated daily rhythm, you create a complete integration with your mind and body. You have a new daily rhythm for living that is more aware, with different behaviors, positive thoughts, and more integrated. You begin to accept current habits and beliefs and even start to use them to tap into an empowered state of courage, compassion, and clarity with your emotions as your energy source. When you’re intentional with your feelings, rather than acting out of impulse, you create a more natural, healthy, and connected state for yourself. You can have harmony in your differences with others and even use those differences for growth. 

Coming into midlife is our chance to learn and consciously decide where we want to go next in our lives, how we want to grow, and how we show up for ourselves and those who matter most to us. Midlife is an opportunity to embrace our inner selves, become more integrated, and live well.

Let’s take advantage of our capacity to move through messy midlife transitions, let go of old ways of being, and reignite our journey to flourish after 50. 

Discover How to Successfully Make Work and Life Transitions After 50

Many women after 50 feel burnt out, stressed, tired of the external pressures, and ready to make a change. But, they’re uncertain how to make work and life transitions at this age. Successful transitions are possible. Reset your mindset, to view them for what they are - exciting. You’re never too old to dream big and take the steps necessary to achieve your goals.

“Tell me what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life.”

Mary Oliver

Life is full of transitions  — kids going off to college, parents needing care and support, relationships ending, or careers evolving — especially after 50. 

Many women after 50 feel burnt out, stressed, tired of the external pressures, and ready to make a change. But instead of retiring, they are exploring opportunities for an encore career. An encore career is work in the second half of life that combines engagement, steady income, greater personal meaning, and social impact.  Other women are building portfolio careers — combining multiple paid and unpaid roles. It's a great way to indulge the various interests that you have. 

How do you successfully make these transitions?

After witnessing people in the workforce who were in unfulfilling jobs or careers and who weren’t happy,  Nancy Burke and Marg Penn, Ph.D., started their business, Future After 50, to help people make life transitions fun, more rewarding, and fulfilling. They began their business in their 60s, after years in corporate America. As a result, they have helped many men and women navigate life transitions successfully and feel more inspired than ever. 

On February 11, Nancy and Marg spoke to a group of Rumblings’ women and offered the following advice and wisdom for managing life transitions successfully to flourish after 50. 

Identify Your Skills and Experiences

Change is inevitable. Transitions require you to recognize your current skills and experiences. Understanding how to package and align your background with the skills needed for what you want to do will help you be successful.   

Nancy and Marg told a story and encouraged us to think of this process as “following the breadcrumbs.” They recommended approaching transitions with a learning mindset and talking to many different people about jobs, careers, volunteer opportunities, board positions, etc., that interest you. You don’t have to know what you’re looking for in the beginning. Just do the work and learn along the way —  picking up bread crumbs.  They’ve seen when women go out and explore, they find answers for themselves at the end of the breadcrumb trail. 

For most women, career and life satisfaction after 50 is not about the money, it's about having a sense of purpose and meaning, or in some cases finding something to be passionate about. 

Women over 50 have a wealth of life experience, whether it's work, family, volunteering, civic engagement, personal friendships, experiences with other women, etc. And, with this experience comes wisdom. However, midlife women often don't share their wisdom unsolicited; they need an invitation.  Don’t wait for the invitation. 

Midlife women bring a more comprehensive skill set than people who are a lot younger. We also have so many more resources than a 20-year-old.  Younger people don't have a robust network. For example, they haven't developed all the skills and perspectives that we have at our stage of life. 

It’s essential to recognize the expertise and experience you bring to the table. However, it’s also important to realize that younger people may be better in many skill areas, so enter this process with humility and a learning mindset. 

Adopt a Learning Mindset 

Ensure you’re up to speed on the technology and terminology of the fields you’re interested in pursuing. Technology and terminology continually change. It’s critical to stay on top of the changes. Take classes and learn about different industries if you’ve been out of the workforce for a while. Research to understand what is happening in the field(s) you may want to pursue.

You also need to prepare yourself to describe your skills in language that resonates with a potential employer. Each industry has its vocabulary.  For example, skills are transferable, but the nonprofit world doesn't talk about some skills the same way the corporate world does, so learning the terminology is essential for selling yourself. Suppose you haven't been in the workforce for a while. You must start to pull together some of the skills you used during the time you've been out. That means if you've done significant volunteer work, pull out the competencies from those experiences.  Women often minimize those experiences, particularly if it's been volunteer work. Finally, package your experience in the vocabulary used in the field you plan to pursue.

Employers are not bothered by women who have been home if they can see relevant experience. An employer wants to know that you can solve their problems and provide the kinds of skills that will help them accomplish the organization’s objectives.

It is possible to get into the trap of thinking too narrowly, and it is tough to get out of it. For example, you may think you’ve held a certain role for so long you believe you don't have the skills to do anything else. Or you may be limiting what you bring to the table because that’s the way you’ve always done things.

It's hard to think that way. If you recognize this in yourself, you may need to take a step back and reinvent yourself.  Start almost as a beginner, which means learning from people who are maybe as young as your children or more youthful. Reset your mindset to think you have as much to learn from them as they can learn from your experience. 

Adopting a learning mindset can open up your thinking and help you navigate transitions.

Create Clarity

If you don't know where you're going, it's going to be hard to get there. Start by doing personal assessment work. There are tools available to help you review your career history, lifetime achievements, and skills. This type of assessment process aims to review the skills you have from your work and volunteer experiences that you can take into a new opportunity. Often, transitions require us to package our expertise in different ways. Resumes need revisions so that a new employer can see how your skills transfer to a new opportunity.

Clarity doesn't come in a day or a week; it takes a little bit of time. Even when you're clear about where you want to go, it's not always easy to take action. Sometimes you need help to figure out what's holding you back from taking action and getting closer to what you want to do. It could be loyalty to your boss or your employer, fear of stepping out into the unknown, not wanting to take a pay cut even when it’s financially doable, or a job title that’s holding you back.    

Get clarity for yourself and understand what's keeping you from pursuing your dream. Talk to friends, family, colleagues, employers, mentors, or a coach to help you work through the process. You need to get a feel for what you're good at and what you love. It’s extremely difficult to do this from reading a book. 

Be Courageous

Unfortunately, the work world that we have been in was not well designed for women over 50, and as a result, we’ve had to put up with a lot in our careers. Around the time we turn 50, women often realize it’s not worth it anymore, and we start seeking a more fulfilling way to contribute.  It’s similar for women who haven't been working outside the home. We know we have more to contribute now that our children are launched. 

It takes courage to navigate transitions. After 50, you’ve got to embrace change and become good at making transitions. Now is the time to be courageous and step into your desires.  

Be Confident 

Unfortunately, women often lack the confidence to jump into something new. Nancy and Marg don’t see it as jumping. It’s waiting patiently, learning, and realigning. 

The goal is to figure out some of the roles you could pursue, the organizations where those roles might exist, and which organizations are appealing enough to check out. Then do research. You can do a lot of that research on the Internet. There's so much information available, but often the most valuable insight is gained by talking with people, which involves setting up conversations. Networking requires confidence. Many people don't want to bother the person to have a conversation. First of all, most people are willing to chat and share information.  That's what a networking meeting is all about. How can I learn? How can I find out about what kinds of organizations are out there? What's the culture like with this organization? Understand you’ve got things to offer. Usually, it takes about  20 conversations, maybe more, to see an opportunity emerge that you'd be interested in pursuing. Confidence is a critical ingredient for successful transitions.

Making a change is not a leap from one thing to something entirely different.  If you've been out of the work world for a while, you may wonder if you can compete or if you have skills that anybody wants. Jumping into a transition is often a two-step or more process, so it may mean that you are working in one thing and you do a side gig off in another and then make that develop into something that will pay the bills. Or you may take a job that's a transition job to give you the experience you need or time in a company to get to the ultimate role you want. 

Job cycles —hiring booms and valleys — can create fear and uncertainty about job security after 50. The pandemic and impact on the economy have resulted in people in their 50s and 60s losing their jobs which has amplified that fear. The reality is the economy’s ups and downs will always be there, and it is a macroeconomic issue. Don’t look at these statistics. You don’t have control over them. The statistics create unnecessary fear that there are no jobs in a down cycle or I am a loser if I don’t have a job in an upcycle. 

The reality is that you can get a job at any time. Remember that getting a job is a microeconomic issue for you and one employer. You have control over your skills and your mindset.  For example, during the pandemic, there are many healthcare startups, and they're looking for people who have deep experience because they want to scale. People with deep expertise are in their 50s and 60s.  Organizations need an infusion of people with extensive experience, as well those new in their career. 

There is age bias in the workplace. It's a small part of what people over 50 face. However, it could feel insurmountable if you start thinking that age bias is a big issue for you. Approximately 20% of age bias in the marketplace is reality, and about 80% is imagined. Most other people are not focused on your age. For everybody who has a bias against somebody over 50, there's somebody who has a bias against millennials or Generation Z. So, if you hold age as a barrier in your mind, it will get in your way. But if you can start focusing on the skills and value you bring to employers and forget your limiting beliefs around age, you will find it becomes much less of an issue. 

It’s easy to get pigeonholed by your past experiences. If you want to make a change, it's sometimes difficult to see beyond our personal experiences. Be confident.

Lift Up Other Women 

On your way to mastering your transition, think about how you can lift up other women as well. One way to do that is by amplifying their skills, expertise, and contributions in a conversation, at a meeting, in an email, or through social media. 

Acknowledging the contributions of women around you — younger or older — goes a long way. Not only do you highlight their contributions to more people, but they’ll also appreciate what you’re doing and be more willing to listen to you.

Successful transitions are possible. Reset your mindset, to view them for what they are - exciting. The message is you’re never too old to dream big and take the steps necessary to achieve your goals. Identify your skills and experience. Adopt a learning mindset. Seek clarity. Be courageous. Be confident. And lift up other women along the way. Together we Rumble and flourish! 

“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream another dream.”

C.S. Lewis

5 Ways to Uncover and Challenge Unconscious Biases Today

By uncovering your unconscious biases you can reshape your perspectives, decisions, and behaviors.

Several years ago I chaperoned my son’s soccer team at a college showcase tournament. Since this was a high-level team, we traveled to the out-of-town tournament by air.  The team was made up of 18 young men from Minneapolis and surrounding suburbs, all within the same 12-month age span, and all with a passion for the game of soccer. 

On our trip home, we successfully received our boarding passes, and the 18 players and two mom chaperones headed to security. When we arrived, we realized that some of us had been assigned to skip the long security line and go through the TSA PreCheck line. 

One by one we looked at our ticket and chose which line to go to — left regular or right PreCheck. Suddenly I heard my son scream, “MOM!” And, with horror in his eyes, he yelled, “Look at how they segmented us.”  Slowly, I looked up and saw the players of color on the left side of the rope and the white players, and two white moms on the right. I too was horrified. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. My heart started racing, as I shared my surprise and frustration with the other mom. 

The PreCheck line was shorter, so I maneuvered in front of the few white players from the team and leaped towards the security checkpoint. I found myself standing in front of a young black woman and I said, “Please take a look behind me. I am chaperoning those young men. They are from the same community and are on the same team, but yet have been segmented by race for security. This is inexcusable!” 

She looked at me and repeated, what I assume she was trained to say, and most likely said often, “Our computers randomly assigned the lines.” Shaking in frustration I said, “What’s random about what you’re witnessing behind me?” She handed me my ticket and gestured to me to move on. 

I think about that experience often. In my mind, I see the boys standing on the left side of the rope with their heads hanging low and eyes facing the floor, while the boys standing on the right side of the rope quickly recognizing and verbalizing the bias they were witnessing before their eyes, but of course not fully understanding the gravity of what their peers were going through.  

The situation opened up a great conversation between the boys while the moms listened in. I, however, felt as the adult representing all of the boys, more should have been done. They deserved better. I should have used the power I had to vocalize the injustice that required more explanation.  

Whether or not the assertion was accurate and the process was random,  I will never know. Did the person issuing the tickets have a conscious or unconscious bias that was reflected in a few of us receiving the PreCheck status based on race?  If the process truly was randomly assigned by the system, the airline had a problem with bias in their algorithms.  

I can’t change the way I reacted that day, but I can commit to doing better next time. This experience was a reminder that biases exist and biases have the potential to have a very negative impact on individuals. 

Unconscious Biases

Almost every day in the news, there is at least one story about racism, sexism, or ageism. For many of us, we may think, “That’s not me.” The reality is that even amongst the most well-intended and open-minded people, unconscious biases exist. Most of us are unaware of our own biases and how they impact our decision making. 

Cognitive biases, or errors in thinking processes, result from our brains naturally wanting to take a shortcut in order to reason or make a judgment.  Our brains are wired to do this. Biases drive what we perceive, how we think, and what actions we take. 

Over the last few months, we’ve been talking a lot about mindset and the importance of resetting our mindset to flourish after 50. Our mindsets influence our biases (and vice versa), so it’s important to pay attention, recognize our personal biases, and do everything we can to reframe them for our personal well-being and the well-being of others. 

Common Biases to Be Aware Of

Although this isn’t a comprehensive list, here are some common biases to be aware of.  

Self Serving Bias — attributing positive outcomes to skill and negative outcomes to luck

Implicit Bias — having innate preferences  for people who look like us and suspicion for people who don’t 

Confirmation Bias — seeking information and data that confirms pre-existing ideas and ignore data that contradict what we initially believed 

Herd Mentality Bias —  copying and following what others are doing (influenced by our emotions versus by an independent analysis of the facts) 

Overconfidence Bias — having a false sense of skills, talents, knowledge, or ability greater than it is  

Optimism or Pessimism Bias — overestimating the likelihood of positive or negative outcomes based on emotion. 

Declining Bias — favoring the past (resisting change) over and above how things are going today 

False Consensus Effect — overestimating how much other people agree with our own beliefs, attitudes, behaviors, and values 

Recognize and Challenge Personal Biases

There are ways to begin recognizing your own biases. 

Start here.

1. Increase awareness. Start by noticing your decisions, reactions, judgments, and responses throughout the day. 

2. Ask yourself the following questions:

   • Why am I making this decision, having a reaction, or responding this way? 

   • Is my decision, reaction, judgment, or response based on fact or emotion? 

   • Is this one of my biases? 

   • Who and what is making me uncomfortable? Why?

   • What is my role in my actions? 

3. Reflect back on the different cognitive biases. Are you making a decision, reacting, judging, or responding to the situation in a biased way? If you’re uncertain, ask a trusted friend or family member. 

4. Practice responding differently based on your new awareness and knowledge. 

5. Do things to shift your perception of the world and other people. Follow people who think differently than you.  Explore new and diverse experiences to help see past what may be blind spots in your beliefs.

By uncovering your unconscious biases you can reshape your perspectives, decisions, and behaviors. Adopting a learning mindset toward yourself and your personal biases is a start to making more conscious decisions, altering your thought patterns, and resetting your mindset for flourishing after 50. 

Together we RUMBLE.

Live Well as You Age with These 4 Tips to Reset Your Mindset

We now have evidence that the brain is malleable. What this means is by learning new skills, changing current behaviors, and modifying lifelong habits for better health, you can halt cognitive decline as you age — even into your later years.

Live Well As You Age with These 4 Tips to Reset Your Mindset

You’ve done it before - picked up a new hobby, learned a new skill for work, or started a new morning routine. It’s not always easy to learn something new or change an existing behavior, especially as you get older. All humans are actually hardwired to resist change, but the younger generations generally find it easier to change than those of us in our prime time. 

The reality is that getting out of your comfort zone, learning something, and adopting a new behavior (or two) is actually good for your brain health and has been shown to increase happiness. There is evidence that the brain is malleable. What this means is by learning new skills, changing current behaviors, and modifying lifelong habits for better health, you can halt cognitive decline as you age - even into your later years. 

The story of decline in aging you’ve been told isn’t true. Successful aging requires a
change-is-good mindset, the desire to learn, and a progress, not perfection attitude.      

Get Started with these four mindset reset tips listed below. 

Create a Gratitude Mindset

A gratitude journal is a wonderful way to reset your mindset. By focusing on what you are grateful for, you'll open yourself up to experiencing an abundance of emotional, social, professional, and health benefits.

If you’re already in the practice of writing down what you’re grateful for, try taking your journaling a step further. Make one of your points of gratitude everyday descriptive about someone else and what they've done for you, so that not only are you grateful for your own life, but you also recognize the people in your life and how they contribute to your success and wellbeing. Then challenge yourself to spread gratitude to improve someone else's day.

Send the person you recognized in your journal a note to let them know how grateful you are for them and the impact they have had on your life. Think of the lives you can impact by committing to sending just one message a day! 

Adopt a Fun Mindset

Rebecca’s high school boys had their high school finals coming up  in one week. She realized that her freshman would be experiencing high school finals for the first time and might be feeling added pressure.

When she asked him how he was feeling about finals’ week, he replied, “I am so excited; preparing for finals is fun.” 

Fun and finals weren’t the two words she expected to hear in the same sentence, but she was glad to hear he wasn’t stressed and overwhelmed. 

Fun was his mindset which was making the process of preparing enjoyable and exciting. 

What if you took this approach and reset your mindset when you had something stressful coming up in your life? What if, instead of an automatic response of being overwhelmed, you looked at a stressful event as something fun to be excited about? What if you focused on the process of learning being fun and took the pressure of the results off yourself? 

Give it a try. A reset mindset towards fun can help change your perspective quickly and your life may even feel more fun! 

Build an Intentional Mindset to Change for Good

Like many of you, we started 2021 by setting intentions and a word as our guide for what we want to give attention to over the next 12 months.Transitioning our desired behaviors into lifelong habits is part art, part awareness, daily work, and a whole lot of science.

A place to start is with proven strategies or ‘how tos’ on changing behavior for good. 

We all have patterns of behaviors that we fall back on when we're feeling vulnerable, helpless, angry, stressed or alone. These can be choices that feel more comfortable than sitting still with our emotions. In reality, the only thing that behaviors done mindlessly do is cast a shadow inhibiting our ability to live wholeheartedly. These mindless behaviors give us a false and fleeting sense of soothing and comfort. 

One reason we advocate for sitting still and going inward is the process helps you be mindful about the intentions behind your behavior choices. There are no checklists to identify mindless and comfort behaviors, but self reflection allows you to identify them for yourself. 

Here is one question you can ask yourself that may help. 

Do my choices comfort and nourish my spirit and contribute to my ability to live inside out and flourish, or are they a temporary respite from life?   

Be intentional and identifying red flag personal behavior patterns to help you stay mindful on the path to reaching your goals. For example, if you automatically reach for the sweets after dinner, try going for a short walk instead. 

Being intentional is a mindset. Intention can create awareness around habitual behaviors and help you create change for good. 

Seek a Joyful Mindset

Aging well and flourishing after 50 doesn't require a lengthy to do list or lofty goals. 

Focus on the joy in the journey! 

Do things that nourish you from the inside out. 

Here is where we have found joy the last few months:

• Participate in gentle movement like yoga or meditation

• Walk, ski, or snowshoe in nature 

• Have a conversation with a friend

• Enjoy a wholesome meal with family or friends

• Read a thought-provoking book 

• Listen to an intriguing podcast

• Have a conversation with someone who holds a differing view-point, listen, and seek to understand

• Plan a staycation

• Enjoy the extra time at home to do a puzzle or play a game

By resetting your mindset to focus on the pleasure found in the moment versus what you’re not able to do right now, you’ll discover the joy in so many new experiences in your life. Plus, it can help you positively navigate your life during these stressful times. It’s certainly helped us.

Discover a YOU-First Mindset

Does the recommendation of putting yourself first make you cringe just a little bit? For many of us it certainly does — especially for women. 

Stay with us here. As we’ve aged, we’ve grown tired of trying to live up to someone else’s expectation of who we should be, how we should act, and what we should look like as we age. For many of us, these external expectations create stress in our lives and have become an unrealistic burden that we’re trying unsuccessfully to live up to.  

The reality is you get to decide and write your personal story. And, in doing so you will soften your mind, have greater clarity, and calmness as you evolve closer to your truer and more authentic self.

This is hard work. Society will tell you the goal is to be ageless, instead focus on loving yourself as you are and live age free. 

How to begin? Go inward daily. Set your intentions. Do frequent check-ins to catch yourself if you get off track. Live. Love. Flourish. 

At Rumblings, our philosophy is this...we must reset our mindset in order to live the life of our dreams.  

By focusing on gratitude, intention, joy, and YOU, you can reset your mindset to flourish as you age!  

Rumble On!

Rebecca and Karyn